life

Finding a Way to Be a Good Sister and Not Go Broke

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 25th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have only worked at my new job for 8 months, and company policy is you have to be on the job for 12 months before you get any paid time off.

My older sister is having her second baby in early December and she has already asked if I can help her for a few days after the baby is born. Because it will be a C-section delivery (like her first one was) she is figuring on needing extra help, and her husband, who travels a lot for his own business, is already locked into an important trip a few days after she’s expecting her C-section to be scheduled.

I support myself and really can’t afford to take much, if any, unpaid time off, but I also want to be there for my sister. I know it will mean a lot to her. What do I do? --- TRYING TO BE A GOOD SISTER

DEAR TRYING: There could be solutions available to you, but you need to run them by your HR department and/or boss.

Many companies will advance you personal time, taking it from your first accrued PTO allotment. You might have to jump through some hoops to apply for it, so don’t wait too long to ask.

Another option may be to see if you’d be allowed to formally or informally flex your hours or bank some overtime as comp time. This might only work for the pay periods surrounding your visit to your sister, but if it’s a possibility, it could reduce your amount of unpaid time off, if that’s what you end up having to take.

life

Good Buddy, Bad Hygiene

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 24th, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A good buddy of mine has some real hygiene issues. I’m never sure if it’s him or his clothes that stink, but there are times it’s no fun hanging out with him. Would I be overstepping some line to tell him the truth? --- NEED A CLOTHESPIN

DEAR NEED A CLOTHESPIN: Think about whether you’d rather hear about a personal problem like this from a friend or a stranger. I suggest you be the one to tell him, before someone less caring has the chance. Be kind, but be honest.

life

Daughter Wants to Update Mom’s Look

Ask Someone Else's Mom by by Susan Writer
by Susan Writer
Ask Someone Else's Mom | October 23rd, 2018

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom is a young-looking, attractive late 40-something, but I never see her in anything other than t-shirts, flannel shirts, and jeans. She’s very proud of the fact that some of her clothes go back to her college days, and when things wear out, she replaces them with the same style! She works in a food store, so she doesn’t need anything special for that, but when I try to talk to her about updating her wardrobe even a little, she tells me she doesn’t need or want to spend a lot of money on clothes she’s never going to wear.

I would think most women want to look good, why not my mom? --- DAUGHTER OF A FRUMP

DEAR DAUGHTER OF A FRUMP: Hey, if your middle-age mom still fits clothes from when she was in college, I say good for her.

However, she might be able to use something for dressier occasions, and that’s where your advice could come in handy. If you haven’t already, try taking her shopping and introducing her to more updated styles that might not be as far a cry from her usual look as she imagines. If money’s an issue, have her tag along with you to thrift or consignment shops and see if anything appeals to her there.

In the end, so long as your mother is honestly content with her everyday look, and it works for her current needs, then let her do her thing.

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