DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Ever since I was in middle school I have struggled to maintain what I consider a healthy weight. I gain weight really easily if I am not careful. My girlfriend is just the opposite. She can eat anything and even if she doesn’t work out for weeks it doesn’t show.

While I’m at work, I’m good about what I eat. It’s when I get home that I have a harder time since my girlfriend moved in. No matter how much I hint, she keeps buying food I should not eat, and cooking meals that are way off my meal plan. She seems so happy to be taking care of our dinners, and I don’t believe she has to only eat the same things I do, but I just cannot keep eating this way – not to mention the snack foods she buys and has around the house.

I know having two separate meals every night is nuts, but I’m not sure what else to do. Any ideas? --- WATCHING MY WEIGHT

DEAR WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT: Clearly your hints aren’t working. Be direct with your girlfriend so she can hopefully gain a better understanding of how to support your dietary program. Start openly discussing what works best for you and how you can adapt your dueling diets to each other’s needs. Take a more active role in meal planning. Go food shopping together. Alternate who does the cooking. And make it a point to eat out once in a while so you can each indulge in a dish the other might not choose.

As to the snack foods, put them out of sight and encourage your girlfriend to enjoy them at work or when you’re not around.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: So, I hire a cleaning service to make life easier for my wife and me, since we work all week and then spend the weekend working on the house. Next thing I know, every time I try to get her to schedule the cleaners’ first visit my wife is pissed and won’t tell me why. What did I do wrong? --- THOUGHT I WAS HELPING

DEAR THOUGHT: It could be you wife got the impression you don’t think she’s capable of managing her own home, or that she’s not managing it to your standards. It could also be:

She actually enjoys housework, finding it therapeutic after a long workweek.

She’s concerned about the cost of doing something she figures you guys can take care of yourselves.

Or, she may be of the opinion that she should’ve been part of the decision to bring in cleaners.

Of course, it may be none of the above, but the only way to know for sure is to ask her the same question you asked me – preferably in a calm, non-sarcastic, non-defensive way – and take it from there.

Once you clear the air, she may be more open to having some outside help, at least every now and then.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My younger sister left for bootcamp nearly a month ago and my mom is still crying at least a little every day. It isn’t like she hasn’t had one of her kids move away before. Both my older brother and I left for college right after high school. Why is she such a mess this time around? --- RUNNING LOW ON TISSUES

DEAR RUNNING LOW: How do you know your mother didn’t shed more than a few tears when you and your brother went off to college? Separation anxiety isn’t just for the ones who leave.

Be patient with your mom. Unlike college, military life doesn’t come with a lot of time for visits home. There’s no gradual weening process like there usually is when your kid is away at college and able to put in at least an appearance during winter, spring, and summer breaks. And, during the first phases of training, the newly inducted have limited opportunities to even make phone calls.

Encourage your mom to write your sister letters, as many and as often as she can. It’ll give Mom a kind of virtual time with her, as well as helping your sister feel less disconnected from home.

And it wouldn’t hurt if the rest of the family got into the act too.