DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: So, I hire a cleaning service to make life easier for my wife and me, since we work all week and then spend the weekend working on the house. Next thing I know, every time I try to get her to schedule the cleaners’ first visit my wife is pissed and won’t tell me why. What did I do wrong? --- THOUGHT I WAS HELPING
DEAR THOUGHT: It could be you wife got the impression you don’t think she’s capable of managing her own home, or that she’s not managing it to your standards. It could also be:
She actually enjoys housework, finding it therapeutic after a long workweek.
She’s concerned about the cost of doing something she figures you guys can take care of yourselves.
Or, she may be of the opinion that she should’ve been part of the decision to bring in cleaners.
Of course, it may be none of the above, but the only way to know for sure is to ask her the same question you asked me – preferably in a calm, non-sarcastic, non-defensive way – and take it from there.
Once you clear the air, she may be more open to having some outside help, at least every now and then.