DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My friend and I often swap clothes and accessories. It saves us both money, especially when it’s dressy stuff for special occasions.

I have my first business trip coming up and I keep asking my friend for the suit and blazer she borrowed to go on interviews before she got her job. Every time I mention I need them back, she says she will get them to me and every time we meet up she “forgets.” I have even gone to her place and asked for them and she told me they were at the dry cleaner’s.

What do I need to do to get my clothing back before I have to travel? --- NEED MY OUTFITS

DEAR NEED MY OUTFITS: It sounds like your friend may be giving you the runaround because she has something to hide. Since she’s told you the clothes are at the cleaner’s, tell her if she gives you the claim check you’ll go pick them up. If the items really are there, it may seem unfair for you to have to pay for her cleaning bill, but at least you’ll get your clothing back. If it turns out they aren’t at the cleaner’s and she doesn’t hand them over, you have a choice of either asking her to replace them or doing so yourself.

Whatever the case turns out to be, since you’re both currently employed, I’d say your sharing outfits days are over ─ or at least they should be.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: When I was a kid I remember the older adults at family parties making off-color or what I considered insensitive jokes. It used to get me so mad. Now it seems we have gotten so hypersensitive everyone is afraid to say anything for fear of offending someone or losing their job. What is safe to say anymore? --- KEEPING IT SHUT

DEAR KEEPING: We do seem to have backed ourselves into a corner conversationally these days, regardless of your political leanings.

With civility in increasingly short supply, it’s getting more and more difficult to find havens for rational discourse. So, if you want to play it safe and maintain peace, my advice is to think hard before you speak, stay as topic-neutral as possible, and in extreme cases, consider following the time-honored rule of sticking to the weather and your health.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I have two teenage children. My son is 19 and my daughter is 15. I grew up in a home with very strict parents who set a lot of rules and wanted to know where my sisters and I were every hour of the day. At the time I hated it, but now I understand their rules from a parent’s perspective.

Shortly before my son went back to college, when I took some unclaimed laundry out of the dryer, I found an empty condom wrapper. My kids often buddy up on their laundry and there was clothing from both kids in the batch. Since he’s already been away at college I am not naive enough to think my son isn’t sexually active. But I have to admit I’m a little freaked-out to think my daughter is having sex already.

I don’t want to be as controlling as my parents, and I certainly don’t want to alienate my kids, but how do I approach them to find out what I may not want to know? --- SCARED TO ASK

DEAR SCARED TO ASK: You could try asking your kids separately about your find, but don’t count on a straight answer, especially if they’re inclined to cover for each other.

Being realistic about your son’s probable sex life is a sign you’re not looking to be as strict or controlling as you felt your parents were. He’s 19 and on his own most of the time, but a high school underclassman is a different story.

While some of my readers will say at least safe sex is being practiced, I’m not of the opinion most 15-year-olds are ready for the emotional aspects and potential risks of being sexually active. Because of that, you’re fully within your rights and acting as a loving, responsible parent to speak with your daughter about your concerns.

Whether the wrapper was hers or not, after she explodes ─ and I’d count on an explosion ─ at least she’ll know you care, although that might not be what she calls it or how she sees it right now.