DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I am 26 and share a house with three other women. The others are about 30, 45, and 80. All of us pay rent and the homeowner does not live here. 

My job requires working a lot of different hours throughout the week and weekends. The schedule is constantly changing. I deal with the public and need to "put on a happy face" while working. When I am at home I like to be alone to either veg or to get things done.

My oldest housemate keeps wanting to engage me in involved conversations for which I often do not have either the time or the energy. What is a polite way to tell this woman that I need some quiet time and can't always hang out with her? --- NOT FEELING THE SMILE

DEAR NOT: My guess is an octogenarian living with younger people might truly be interested in your lives and times. I give her credit if that’s the case. She may also be feeling the need to mother hen you, especially since you’re the youngest.

It might be helpful to have one good, long discussion with your older housemate during which you chronicle just how hectic and draining your average day is. Make it a point to let her know that what keeps you balanced is being able to come home and just chill in peace and quiet.

Hopefully she’ll take the hint, but if subtly doesn’t cut it, politely let her know you’re honestly too tired at the moment, but that you’d be glad to talk with her another time, maybe even over a cup of coffee or quick meal in or out of the house. Then make good on the raincheck. It could prove educational for your both.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Shortly after my new wife and I moved into our first apartment, both her parents and mine started showing up with stuff from their basements and attics that they’re convinced we just can’t live without. How do we get them to stop palming off their used crap on us? --- OUT WITH THE OLD

DEAR OUT: Mixed in with the dishes and cutlery my husband and I bought over the years are pieces we started out with when we had very little and couldn’t afford much beyond the barest essentials. These “donations” from our parents were generally odds and ends they’d replaced as their incomes and families grew.

By making use of these secondhand items, we were able to put our money towards the purchase of things we really wanted or needed. Three decades later, a few of those still serviceable pieces are reminders of the givers, too many of whom are now gone.

So long as what your folks drop off is in decent shape, even if not the latest and greatest or much to your taste, say, “Thanks,” with a smile and take it. If it’s not of any use to you, pass it on to a local charity or thrift shop where it may find another life in someone else’s home, or poll your friends to see if any of them are interested in the offerings.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After five semesters working toward a biology bachelor’s I’ve realized I am not cut out for the field. My grades are OK, but I just don’t see myself spending the next 20 or 30 years working in a field I do not enjoy. I haven’t told my parents yet that I want to change majors, or maybe take a semester off to figure things out. They have been helping me with expenses and I don’t know how to tell them I want to switch. Any advice? --- NEEDING TO CHANGE COURSE

DEAR NEEDING: Changing direction, especially after investing time and money – not all of it yours – isn’t generally easy, but it’s better to do it sooner rather than later. Be honest with your parents and let them know you feel it would be a waste to continue in a major that no longer feels right.

The option of taking some time off may be your best bet. You could use the break to earn some money, and perhaps chip away at some missing gen ed credits at a local community college as you explore your next steps.