DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After months of searching, my partner and I finally bought a house. It was like an episode from HGTV. The only places we could afford in our very overpriced market were all fixer-uppers. It took a lot to convince me we could take this project on. We’re both kind of workaholics, so finding time to work on home improvements is hard, but so is finding money to pay someone to come in to do the work since we pretty much put all our savings into the purchase price.

Parts of the house are really a mess and lately we’ve been getting into fights over what needs to be done first and how we’re going to afford the time or money to get it done.

Any suggestions on how we can keep from destroying our relationship over our new old house? --- IN OVER OUR HEADS

DEAR IN OVER: To preserve harmony, and maybe even have a little fun while you start saving up for the big-ticket items, spend a little money and effort on the easy to tackle cosmetic concerns, like painting and accessorizing public rooms where you entertain and probably spend most of your time.

The rest of the place may still be ragged, but at least you’ll have a sense of moving forward and taking the first steps in making the place your own.

However, don’t delay too long in getting on top of any structural issues that can only get worse with wear. If you had a home inspection before you bought the place, prioritize the deficiencies found by the inspector. Simple, relatively inexpensive fixes like replacing leaky old plumbing fixtures and re-caulking tubs can be big money-savers in the long run. They also may provide opportunities to sneak in a few more updates to your taste.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: The car I have been driving for the past three years since graduating college is the one my parents took over when my grandma could no longer drive because of eye trouble. It is a good car, but it now has a lot of miles on it and it really is a grandma car.

I have been in my current job for 7 months and I have begun thinking about replacing the car. My friends tell me getting a car loan is a good way to build credit, but I am nervous about taking on regular debt in addition to my college loan. Should I be? --- NERVOUS BORROWER

DEAR NERVOUS: Good for you to be concerned about taking on debt just to build credit. Car loans, like credit cards, are considered “bad debt,” but for most of us, these necessary evils are, well, necessary.

If your student loan is in your name and you’re staying on top of the payments, you’re already building credit by paying off “good debt.”

One widely recommended tool for young people looking to establish a healthy credit score is to begin with a secured credit card through your bank, credit union, or major credit card company. The beauty of this kind of card is that you can’t charge more than the amount of cash collateral required to open the account, which also serves as your credit limit.

Then, be patient about getting the new wheels. Since you don’t have a long or well-developed credit history, you’re likely to find the interest rates quoted to you will be a lot higher than if you take a few months – or better yet a year or more – proving you can keep current with the secured credit card and your student loan.

A double-bonus of waiting a bit to buy a car is that while you’re establishing credit you can also sock away more for a higher down payment, resulting in a smaller loan.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met a guy at work who is just about everything I could ask for. He’s kind, considerate, smart, funny, and he really seems to get me. The only problem is I know my parents will go ballistic when they find out their white daughter is dating a black man. How do I break the news to them? --- SINGLE WHITE FEMALE

DEAR SINGLE: It’s sad to think mixed race couples still face so many obstacles to acceptance, including with those closest to them.

If you feel the time is right to meet the parents, it might be best to not make an issue of his being black before you arrive. Since they don’t know yet, you need only tell them you’re bringing someone you care deeply for home to meet them. If you set the color-blind example, hopefully they may eventually follow.

But the two of you have to be prepared for a less than warm welcome when you arrive. Try to make it a short visit and be sure to have an exit strategy ready so you can give your folks some time to adjust to a new reality.

There’s much to be said for the old “living to fight another day” strategy.