DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met a guy at work who is just about everything I could ask for. He’s kind, considerate, smart, funny, and he really seems to get me. The only problem is I know my parents will go ballistic when they find out their white daughter is dating a black man. How do I break the news to them? --- SINGLE WHITE FEMALE

DEAR SINGLE: It’s sad to think mixed race couples still face so many obstacles to acceptance, including with those closest to them.

If you feel the time is right to meet the parents, it might be best to not make an issue of his being black before you arrive. Since they don’t know yet, you need only tell them you’re bringing someone you care deeply for home to meet them. If you set the color-blind example, hopefully they may eventually follow.

But the two of you have to be prepared for a less than warm welcome when you arrive. Try to make it a short visit and be sure to have an exit strategy ready so you can give your folks some time to adjust to a new reality.

There’s much to be said for the old “living to fight another day” strategy.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I moved back to my hometown after I wrapped up my master’s degree. I am working in my field, doing what I love for good money. All that is missing is a social life.

I am the youngest in my office, which is staffed mostly by middle-aged family men and women. The majority of my friends from high school have either moved elsewhere or are in serious relationships and not into going out much. My family is nearby, but it is not the same as having my own things to do and people my age to do them with. Any suggestions in jumpstarting my social life? --- SEARCHING FOR FRIENDS

DEAR SEARCHING: Maybe you just haven’t been looking for friends in the all the right places.

If you have any hobbies or favorite pursuits (exercise, music, movies, etc.), do a little on-line hunting to see if there are local groups that share your interests. Or, take a class in something you’ve wanted to learn more about, just for fun.

Volunteering is another route to pursue. As with the social connection sites, there are several reliable on-line volunteer match-up sites that provide ways to support your community, and as a byproduct, an introduction to new people – a win-win in my book.

You might need to expand the radius of your search and be willing to do a little travelling to connect with kindred spirits, but they’re out there. And, if you can’t find anything that appeals to you, be bold and take the initiative to start something new based on an interest near and dear to your heart.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mom and dad divorced nearly four years ago. It was more my mom’s idea, I think, and my dad has had a rough time of it. Since the divorce, my mom has dated a couple of guys. I didn’t love either one, but I tried to be cool with it if they made her happy.

Two months ago my dad started seeing a woman from his gym. “Ellen” seems nice enough, and my dad seems to be really into her.

My mom is always asking about Ellen and my dad and trying to get me to rate Ellen compared to her, which makes me feel really awkward.

How do I deal with my mom’s curiosity without causing problems for myself? --- DATERS’ DAUGHTER

DEAR DATERS’ DAUGHTER: Your mom’s pressuring you about what’s going on in your dad’s world smacks of the manipulative games practiced on their children – of any age – by some divorced parents. She’s taking advantage of you being her window into a life she may not be entirely ready to let go of, even though she’s appeared to have moved on.

You need to remind Mom that not only was the divorce her idea, as you understand it, but that she was the first to dive back into the dating pool, and it’s only fair and natural your dad does the same. Be honest with her about how uncomfortable her pumping you for details makes you, and be very clear that you aren’t going to discuss your dad’s personal life with her anymore.

Your mom may also be worried that you’ll develop the kind of bond with Ellen she’s exclusively had with you all these years. So now’s a good time to reassure your mother that she still’s and always will be your #1 Mom, just like it says on that necklace you bought for her at the elementary school holiday shop when you were seven.