DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I met a guy at work who is just about everything I could ask for. He’s kind, considerate, smart, funny, and he really seems to get me. The only problem is I know my parents will go ballistic when they find out their white daughter is dating a black man. How do I break the news to them? --- SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
DEAR SINGLE: It’s sad to think mixed race couples still face so many obstacles to acceptance, including with those closest to them.
If you feel the time is right to meet the parents, it might be best to not make an issue of his being black before you arrive. Since they don’t know yet, you need only tell them you’re bringing someone you care deeply for home to meet them. If you set the color-blind example, hopefully they may eventually follow.
But the two of you have to be prepared for a less than warm welcome when you arrive. Try to make it a short visit and be sure to have an exit strategy ready so you can give your folks some time to adjust to a new reality.
There’s much to be said for the old “living to fight another day” strategy.