DEAR NATALIE: My wife and I got into a huge argument the other night and I told her that I wished I had never married her. I don’t feel that way, I was just angry. It was such a stupid fight and now I feel as though we are in a bad situation made worse because of what I said. She said that she’s never talked to me that way and wonders if there is a kernel of truth to it. We’ve been married for seven years and while we’ve always had somewhat of a “volatile” relationship, I certainly don't want a divorce. How do I get her to move forward now even though I can’t take it back? – I JUST MISSPOKE

DEAR I JUST MISSPOKE: We have all been guilty of saying things in the heat of the moment that we wish we could take back. And telling your spouse you wished you never married them would definitely fall under that category. We can’t expect someone to just “move forward,” however, without actively working to repair what happened. It just doesn’t start and end with, “I’m sorry.” Actions speak louder than words, so you are going to have to plan some thoughtful date nights, write her a few love letters (or buy a few cute cards) and perhaps get her a few thoughtful gifts over the course of the next weeks and months to show her that you are glad that you married her. It will take time and effort on your part, but if you want your marriage to heal and grow even stronger, now is the time. I would also recommend reading “The Marriage Clinic” by John Gottman which has a lot of great exercises in it to use when you are actively repairing a relationship. Next time, think before you speak, because words can hurt the most from those we love.    

DEAR NATALIE: My best friend, Jordan, and I have been thinking about having a baby together. Neither of us have ever gotten married. We are both in our late 30s and work in corporate jobs with good salaries. We were talking the other night and just said how hard dating is and how we both want a family. I have watched him go through a divorce and he has seen me deal with one bad relationship after another. So why not live together as friends and raise a baby? I give up on ever finding love. Wouldn't it actually be easier if you took the sex out of the dynamic, anyway? My mother thinks I’m absolutely crazy and she thinks that Jordan is in love with me. She wanted to know how this would even work. Obviously, we would use IVF. I’m not attracted to Jordan…it didn’t even occur to me that he could be attracted to me. Do I bring that up? This seems like a great situation so I don’t want to mess it up. I really want to be a mother more than a wife, anyway. What do you think? – HAVE A BABY WITH MY BESTIE

DEAR HAVE A BABY WITH MY BESTIE: Mothers know best. This I have learned, and if your mother feels as though your best friend may be in love with you, you should sit with that. I’m not going to tell you how to create a family – especially if you both want this. But what if your mom is right and you intensify your relationship with this person, co-parent with them, and the whole time they are just waiting for you to fall in love with them. Things could get more than awkward – they could get downright hostile. If you factor in an innocent child with all of that, it could be a recipe for disaster. Better to put your cards on the table first. And it may be best to examine your own feelings, as well. Do you not think of him that way because you put him in the friend-zone? What is it about him that makes him a great best friend? Is he kind? Loyal? Thoughtful and caring? Secure in himself? Reliable? All of these are great qualities in a husband, too. Just something to think about.  

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @NatalieBencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I opened our marriage a few years ago, and it’s been a great decision for both of us. Recently, through a trivia night we go to, we’ve become friends with a couple who is also open and just recently moved to town. The woman, Alex, has been a little flirty with me, and it’s been fun to get to know her. Last week I went to a new spa for a massage and found out that Alex works at the spa as a masseuse. I got my massage and came out and she happened to be standing there. She made a couple of flirty comments and told me I should come back to the spa to see her sometime. This sounds fun and exciting to me, but I’m curious if she does this with everyone. I don’t want to disrupt the budding friendship we all have, but I’d definitely like to see her at the spa and see where things go. What should I do? – OPEN TO MORE

DEAR OPEN TO MORE: I’m not sure if starting something up at Alex’s place of work is a good idea. I know she made a flirty comment – which opened the door – but if you like going to this place, you may want to think twice. What if things don’t work with Alex and then it becomes awkward to go there? What if you misinterpret something she says or does and she reports you to her supervisor and gets you kicked out? You don’t know her well enough to make a decision about her as a person. Get to know her outside of the workspace first. Trivia night sounds like a fun place to connect that is free from professional entanglements. If it goes well, you don’t need her place of employment to heat things up! 

DEAR NATALIE: I’ve never actually been in love. I’m 42-years-old. All of my friends are either married or divorced. They’ve all had serious relationships and while I’ve dated, I can’t actually say that I’ve loved anyone. It’s not that I don’t want to find someone. But everyone I’ve dated has had major faults that I haven’t been able to overlook. My best friend said that I’m too “critical” of people and that I am doing this to avoid getting my heart broken. But shouldn’t I be picky? Shouldn't I be swept off my feet? Why should I settle? I’d rather be alone and content than with someone and lonely. But my friend is worried about me and wants to set me up on some dates with men they know. I am mostly against it. What do you think?

– LOVELESS BY CHOICE

DEAR LOVELESS BY CHOICE: There is nothing wrong with being on your own timeline when it comes to love and romance. The question I have for you is: Are you content with your life? Meaning, if you were to stay single, would you be okay with that? If the answer is yes, then let love find you on its own. But, if you are open to the idea of meeting someone, then why not let your friend set you up on some dates? Sometimes, we have to get out of our own way to make changes in our lives. It can get harder as you get older to find someone if for no other reason than the fact that you can get stuck in your ways. You can get used to things being “your way” and that can make you critical of others. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a fulfilling and joyful life full of love from friends and family. Some people are better off single. Maybe you are one of them. But who knows? Perhaps when you least expect it, you will get swept off of your feet…as long as you are open to the possibility.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @Natalie_Bencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My best friend just told me that she paid an escort to flirt with her husband while he was away on business to see if he would be open to cheating on her. They have always had a challenging marriage, but I think this is extreme. To make matters worse, the escort reported back that he did proposition her to go back to his hotel room but that she turned down his advances. Now my best friend doesn’t know what to do because she set him up. Now she knows he would cheat given the opportunity. Should she confront him? She’s been a mess about this for over a week and has been asking for my advice. I’m single and have no idea why she did this and what she should do. What do you think? –BED OF LIES

DEAR BED OF LIES: If their marriage is so tumultuous that she feels the need to have to hire someone to see if he is cheating, then there is nothing you can say or do to help repair this. She needs to tell him what she did and what she discovered. But more importantly, she needs to ask herself why she is staying married to someone she doesn’t trust. I understand why she is asking for your advice – she is looking for permission from someone outside of herself to do the thing she already knows she needs to do. But the reality is, only she can make that decision. Instead of advising her, walk through her process together as to how she landed in this moment. Hopefully, she will be able to piece the puzzle together and realize that the picture it makes is not a happy or fulfilling one.   

DEAR NATALIE: My sister-in-law has always been overweight. Recently, my brother told me that she started using Ozempic and has dropped a dramatic amount of weight in a short amount of time. The only catch is that she has been telling everyone that she did it “the old-fashioned way” through just diet and exercise. Everyone is fawning all over her and she’s blatantly lying to their faces. I find this all very annoying and want to tell her to stop lying. People are even asking me what her secret is. I don’t want to lie for her, but I also don’t want to tell everyone that she is lying. Should I confront her about this? It’s a small town and only a matter of time before someone realizes she’s lying and she looks like a conceited fool. What should I do? –BIG FAT LIAR

DEAR BIG FAT LIAR: If you were overweight your whole life and finally lost a bunch of weight, how would you feel? Perhaps growing up, she didn’t feel good about herself because of the weight stigma that we place on people in our society. Fat-phobia is a real thing with real-life implications. I can understand you may want to roll your eyes in the background but why rain on her parade? At some point, maybe she’ll acknowledge that it took more than just lifestyle changes to get to where she is now, but can’t you afford her this small moment in the sun? It may seem conceited or foolish to you, but what if this was the first time you had ever been noticed in this way? Let her process what all of that means and why she needs that external validation in the first place. It is not your place to call her out. If it blows up in her face, then she can be the one to deal with the fallout. But for the moment, let her be happy. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @Natalie_Bencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga