DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I opened our marriage a few years ago, and it’s been a great decision for both of us. Recently, through a trivia night we go to, we’ve become friends with a couple who is also open and just recently moved to town. The woman, Alex, has been a little flirty with me, and it’s been fun to get to know her. Last week I went to a new spa for a massage and found out that Alex works at the spa as a masseuse. I got my massage and came out and she happened to be standing there. She made a couple of flirty comments and told me I should come back to the spa to see her sometime. This sounds fun and exciting to me, but I’m curious if she does this with everyone. I don’t want to disrupt the budding friendship we all have, but I’d definitely like to see her at the spa and see where things go. What should I do? – OPEN TO MORE

DEAR OPEN TO MORE: I’m not sure if starting something up at Alex’s place of work is a good idea. I know she made a flirty comment – which opened the door – but if you like going to this place, you may want to think twice. What if things don’t work with Alex and then it becomes awkward to go there? What if you misinterpret something she says or does and she reports you to her supervisor and gets you kicked out? You don’t know her well enough to make a decision about her as a person. Get to know her outside of the workspace first. Trivia night sounds like a fun place to connect that is free from professional entanglements. If it goes well, you don’t need her place of employment to heat things up! 

DEAR NATALIE: I’ve never actually been in love. I’m 42-years-old. All of my friends are either married or divorced. They’ve all had serious relationships and while I’ve dated, I can’t actually say that I’ve loved anyone. It’s not that I don’t want to find someone. But everyone I’ve dated has had major faults that I haven’t been able to overlook. My best friend said that I’m too “critical” of people and that I am doing this to avoid getting my heart broken. But shouldn’t I be picky? Shouldn't I be swept off my feet? Why should I settle? I’d rather be alone and content than with someone and lonely. But my friend is worried about me and wants to set me up on some dates with men they know. I am mostly against it. What do you think?

– LOVELESS BY CHOICE

DEAR LOVELESS BY CHOICE: There is nothing wrong with being on your own timeline when it comes to love and romance. The question I have for you is: Are you content with your life? Meaning, if you were to stay single, would you be okay with that? If the answer is yes, then let love find you on its own. But, if you are open to the idea of meeting someone, then why not let your friend set you up on some dates? Sometimes, we have to get out of our own way to make changes in our lives. It can get harder as you get older to find someone if for no other reason than the fact that you can get stuck in your ways. You can get used to things being “your way” and that can make you critical of others. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a fulfilling and joyful life full of love from friends and family. Some people are better off single. Maybe you are one of them. But who knows? Perhaps when you least expect it, you will get swept off of your feet…as long as you are open to the possibility.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @Natalie_Bencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: My best friend just told me that she paid an escort to flirt with her husband while he was away on business to see if he would be open to cheating on her. They have always had a challenging marriage, but I think this is extreme. To make matters worse, the escort reported back that he did proposition her to go back to his hotel room but that she turned down his advances. Now my best friend doesn’t know what to do because she set him up. Now she knows he would cheat given the opportunity. Should she confront him? She’s been a mess about this for over a week and has been asking for my advice. I’m single and have no idea why she did this and what she should do. What do you think? –BED OF LIES

DEAR BED OF LIES: If their marriage is so tumultuous that she feels the need to have to hire someone to see if he is cheating, then there is nothing you can say or do to help repair this. She needs to tell him what she did and what she discovered. But more importantly, she needs to ask herself why she is staying married to someone she doesn’t trust. I understand why she is asking for your advice – she is looking for permission from someone outside of herself to do the thing she already knows she needs to do. But the reality is, only she can make that decision. Instead of advising her, walk through her process together as to how she landed in this moment. Hopefully, she will be able to piece the puzzle together and realize that the picture it makes is not a happy or fulfilling one.   

DEAR NATALIE: My sister-in-law has always been overweight. Recently, my brother told me that she started using Ozempic and has dropped a dramatic amount of weight in a short amount of time. The only catch is that she has been telling everyone that she did it “the old-fashioned way” through just diet and exercise. Everyone is fawning all over her and she’s blatantly lying to their faces. I find this all very annoying and want to tell her to stop lying. People are even asking me what her secret is. I don’t want to lie for her, but I also don’t want to tell everyone that she is lying. Should I confront her about this? It’s a small town and only a matter of time before someone realizes she’s lying and she looks like a conceited fool. What should I do? –BIG FAT LIAR

DEAR BIG FAT LIAR: If you were overweight your whole life and finally lost a bunch of weight, how would you feel? Perhaps growing up, she didn’t feel good about herself because of the weight stigma that we place on people in our society. Fat-phobia is a real thing with real-life implications. I can understand you may want to roll your eyes in the background but why rain on her parade? At some point, maybe she’ll acknowledge that it took more than just lifestyle changes to get to where she is now, but can’t you afford her this small moment in the sun? It may seem conceited or foolish to you, but what if this was the first time you had ever been noticed in this way? Let her process what all of that means and why she needs that external validation in the first place. It is not your place to call her out. If it blows up in her face, then she can be the one to deal with the fallout. But for the moment, let her be happy. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram @Natalie_Bencivenga

and on TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: I slept with my good friend’s new boyfriend a few weeks ago. I didn’t know he was with her as I hadn’t met him yet or seen a photo. I only discovered this when I was out with my friend getting a drink and he showed up to meet her. He looked as surprised as I did. Now I feel conflicted. Do I tell my friend what happened? He said that they aren’t even that serious, but when you talk to her, she paints a different story. If this guy is a cheater, shouldn’t she know? But I worry if she finds out that I’ll be the one she gets mad at. Should I just keep my mouth shut? But what if they get serious? The whole thing is so uncomfortable. – KEEPING QUIET 

DEAR KEEPING QUIET: This is a mess but not of your doing. If he is out there sleeping around without her knowing, she deserves to hear the truth. The unfortunate part – to your point – is she may flip out when she realizes you both have slept with him. But if you don’t say anything, and then eventually she finds out, she may feel as though she can’t trust you again. I would tell her immediately. I would say to her, “You aren’t going to want to hear this – and obviously I had no idea who your boyfriend was – but he and I hooked up a few weeks ago.” Be prepared for her to be upset. Once the dust settles, she may be glad to know so that she can make a decision about him knowing that he was sleeping with other people. If nothing else, being honest with her will lift the weight off of your shoulders and put it squarely on his – where it belongs.    

DEAR NATALIE: I have a 27-year-old daughter who lives with me and her grandmother – my mother-in-law – is resentful towards her. Her grandmother is a very difficult person and doesn’t get along with anyone. Recently, my father-in-law passed away and now my mother-in-law will be moving in with us. I am wondering if I should sit them both down ahead of time and discuss how we can all live together harmoniously. I have always told my daughter to be kind to her grandmother, but she’s an adult. I am not sure how to navigate this now? I don’t want to end up in the middle. – FAMILY DRAMA

DEAR FAMILY DRAMA: Having multiple generations under one roof can be very challenging because everyone has their own way of moving in the world. I would work to set healthy boundaries for everyone to minimize the anxiety you could feel in the house. Having a family meeting prior to her moving in is smart to help build open communication to offset any issues. Talking with your daughter alone is another good idea because she needs to remember that her grandmother is older and recently widowed. Even if it is difficult, she needs to try and remain calm and patient when communicating with her. I don’t know if your daughter needs to live at home with you or not, but perhaps this could be the reason for her to start looking for her own place. I give you a lot of credit for opening your home to both your adult child and your mother-in-law, so I hope you will set boundaries for yourself, as well. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM, stream it on the

Audacy app or at www.kdkaradio.com

Watch her award-winning video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga