DEAR NATALIE: My wife died of complications from COVID in 2022 and it’s been horrible moving forward without her. We have two small children and juggling being a single dad and a small business owner has been incredibly difficult. I am very protective of my kids, and we mask everywhere we go. We are up-to-date with our vaccinations and I’ve done everything I can to create a healthy environment at home. It can be challenging with them at school, but I think losing their mom has made them have to mature so fast and so their friends and teachers have gotten used to our boundaries. This policy has kept us COVID-free and we plan on sticking to it. The only issue is that my wife’s parents are still very much in denial about how and why their daughter died. They are anti-vaxxers who have both had COVID now a few times each. It is really starting to impact their health. They don’t understand why my kids aren’t allowed sleepovers at their house and feel as though I’m “ignoring” them and trying to cut them out of their lives. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I want them in my kids’ lives, but not at the risk of my kids’ health. How do I balance our health concerns with affording their grandparents the opportunity to spend more time with them? Admittedly, they are incredible people, otherwise. But this is something we can’t seem to get beyond. Any suggestions? – NOVID DAD
DEAR NOVID DAD: First, I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. To be left a widower with two small children would be unbearable in any circumstance, but knowing that your wife died from COVID is just tragic. I applaud you for being COVID-cautious and doing what you need to do as a father to keep you and your children safe. It breaks my heart over and over again knowing that the politicization of a deadly and debilitating airborne virus that doesn’t see party lines is continuing to cause such pain in people’s lives. If we would all mask, clean the indoor air and vaccinate if able, think of what a different situation we would be in. I don’t blame you for taking any and all precautions to keep yourselves safe since our government and corporations have completely abandoned us. If your in-laws want to spend time with their grandkids, it’s simple. They just need to test before visiting, be outside with them whenever possible, crack some windows indoors to let the air flow and wear masks when they are indoors together. If they can’t do those simple, easy things, then I guess they don’t really want to be around their grandchildren. Those requests don’t force your belief system onto them. They don’t have to mask other places. You’re not insisting they get a vaccination. You are simply asking that they respect your family’s boundaries. In light of everything that has happened – why would they ever deny you that? If they can’t or won’t do that, FaceTime or zoom are still options, too. This is up to them, ultimately, but it seems like a small concession to make in order to spend time with their daughter’s children.
DEAR NATALIE: My cousin is running in a local election and has been eager to organize events that will give her an opportunity to get in front of people. While we live in the same large town, I’ve lived here for a few years longer and know more people than she does. She really wants my help in introducing her to people and getting the word out about her campaign. It isn’t that I don’t think she would hold the position well, but I don’t really want to endorse her socially. The rest of my family is supporting her in their own ways, too, but I have a larger platform online and in person. My neighbors and I have agreed that we don’t put political signs to endorse candidates in our yards, and of course my cousin wants me to put a sign in my yard. How can I talk to her about this without offending her? I’m planning on voting for her, but I don’t want nepotism to shine in all the other realms of my life. – COUSIN CANDIDATE
DEAR COUSIN CANDIDATE: You just need to be honest and establish this boundary now because if she wins and continues down this path, you may get more requests bombarding you moving forward. I would tell her just what you told me: You and your neighbors made a pact and you all agreed not to put signs in your yard. It is also OK if you want to support her quietly and not promote her on your platforms. I do think it would be kind of you to introduce her to one or two of your colleagues to show just some familial support. Beyond that, it’s up to her.
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