DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend’s mother is out to get me. She really doesn’t like me. I think she knows we are “serious” and will most likely get engaged this year and she has been pulling out all the stops to end our relationship. She says to me that “I’m not good enough” for her son, that “I am not pretty enough” and that I am not “intellectual enough” to sustain a long term relationship or marriage with him. We’ve been happily together for three years and he is the love of my life. I know he would do anything for me and tries to shield me from her as best as he can. He is a mama’s boy – and admits it! – so I think part of the issue is that she is jealous of our relationship. I know that sounds weird, but that’s the feeling I get. She has even tried to set him up on other dates with her friends’ daughters to see if he will end things with me. I don’t know why she dislikes me so much other than the fact that we are an interracial couple. I love him and want to marry him but the idea of our future kids having her for a grandmother really makes me nervous. Any advice on how to win her over? –MOM NEEDS TO TAKE A SEAT

DEAR MOM NEEDS TO TAKE A SEAT: His mom sounds racist and I don’t know if there is much you can do other than keep your distance. The coded language of you not being “pretty” or “good enough" for her son definitely raises eyebrows. You shouldn’t have to deal with this from anyone, let alone the mother of the man you may marry. If you are set on him being the one, then you need to have a serious heart-to-heart with him about this situation. Be honest and open about what is going on. I understand he may be a “mama’s boy” but if he can’t take your side at this moment, what makes you think he will ever take your side once you are married? Another thing to consider – your future children will be biracial – how will she treat them? Is this someone you would want to have around your babies? A lot goes into considering marriage. You aren’t just marrying him, you are marrying his whole family. Is this truly the family you want to call your own?  

DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I have been together for almost 30 years and while I love him, I am no longer in love with him. Everyone says we are the “perfect couple” and it breaks my heart to know that I have emotionally moved on. We haven’t been intimate in months and I know he wonders why I have become so cold towards him, but I am just not interested in him anymore. To make things more complicated, I have started to see someone behind his back. This person excites me in a way that he never did. We married very young because I was pregnant, and while he has been a wonderful father and husband, I have never felt that “passion” like I do with this new person. I’m 58 years old now and don’t want to live the rest of my life in a loveless and sexless marriage. Our kids are grown and I think will take his side in all of this. How do I make everyone understand that this is for the best? I don’t want to alienate my children, either. –TOUGH CHOICES 

DEAR TOUGH CHOICES: Put your affair on hold and sort things out at home. You owe it to your husband to let him know how you feel and what you want from this life. It's also possible that he hasn't been as happy in this marriage as he would like to be. Divorce is one of the biggest decisions you can make in life and transitions can be hard. Don’t make this worse by betraying him and everything you built over these past three decades. Explain to him that you aren’t happy and that you can’t continue on this way. After you discuss this with him, you will need to talk to your kids as a family. They may be adults, but they deserve to hear this from you both. I hope you find what you are looking for and can take this next chapter to do what makes you happy. There are many women who hit this phase of life and realize how much of their life was spent taking care of others and catering to other people’s needs. I understand your desire to strike out on your own and do what you want to do. But don’t burn the bridges you worked so hard to build with the people that love you. Step back from the affair, reassess your values and be honest with your spouse about your future. He deserves at least that much. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: I’m tired of being concerned about COVID. I’m in my early 30s, single, and open to dating – which was never a big deal for me before 2020, but now it’s so logistically complicated. I want to continue putting my health first and I don’t mind suggesting meeting up with new people in outdoor spaces while it’s still warm out, but I feel like conversations about exclusivity are coming up earlier than they normally would because I’m so concerned about how much spit-swapping is going on. I live alone and work from home, so my risk level is relatively low, but it’s now two people that I’ve dated with kids who have gotten COVID at the beginning of the school year. I don’t want to stop seeing someone just because they have COVID, but it definitely kills the vibe when we’ve just started hanging out. With cases being high, I’d like to meet someone with similar risk mitigation approaches to me. (Yes, I online date!) How can I approach building new relationships and knowing when to weed out the ones who don’t prioritize safety like I do? – COVID CAUTIOUS DATE 

DEAR COVID CAUTIOUS DATE: Like everything it seems these days, dating has also become more serious. People are more blunt and honest up front about the things that matter to them and that could be seen as a positive. By cutting through the niceties that come along with those first dates, you can accelerate the process to find the right person – if that’s your reason for dating. If you’re just looking for casual fun, dating may be more intense than it used to be. On the plus side, being your authentic self and sharing what’s important to you allows you to weed through those people who aren’t the right fit. If taking COVID precautions are important to you – and I’m glad that they are – then finding someone who also feels like you do will save you a lot of stress in the future. There are people out there who are taking this seriously. They exist. It’s just a matter of finding them. Online dating is a great place to start because you can chat without having to meet in person to see if your values are aligned. If they are, then you can meet somewhere COVID-friendly like a park, on a walk or sit at an outdoor cafe. I know you are tired. I know this is frustrating. But, I’m proud of you for prioritizing the safety and health of you and your community by being cautious. Leading with that care and compassion for yourself and others will undoubtedly make some people uncomfortable. It may even push some away. But the person or people you are meant to meet and have meaningful relationships with will find their way to you. Make space for them and let the rest fall to the wayside.

DEAR NATALIE: I recently entered a casual relationship with someone I work with. We had danced around each other for a while, and we’re both excited to be on the same page with interest in each other. She is my subordinate, but we have both been careful about keeping the relationship appropriate both inside and outside of work. Since we’ve gotten together, one of my other employees has started acting out. She had been difficult to work with for some time before this – and other staff have had problems with her in the past – but now she is taking it out on both of us. I had talked to my higher-ups many months ago about considering firing her. Now, I feel a bit apprehensive about the way she may retaliate and use the fact that I’m dating an employee against me. The way she’s been acting is inappropriate and making the rest of the staff struggle to work with her. I feel that she is overreacting about our relationship and taking it out on the rest of the workplace. What should I do? – WORKPLACE DRAMA 

DEAR WORKPLACE DRAMA: If it’s been a while since you discussed this with your bosses, you may want to revisit that conversation with them. Are you “allowed” to be dating someone in your office? I know it may raise eyebrows in some spaces, but others have actual rules when it comes to dating coworkers or subordinates. You may want to have all of your own ducks in a row before you go to your boss and potentially cause more problems for yourself. In the meantime, can you talk to anyone else about approaching your higher-ups about this situation with your disagreeable co-worker? If other people are also having issues with her, having everything documented and in writing is the best path forward. If there are ways to navigate around her in the meantime, I suggest doing just that.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: During the early days of the pandemic, my boyfriend bought a gun because he was afraid that something might happen where he would need to protect us. He went to the shooting range a couple of times to become familiar with it and keeps it in a closet in our bedroom in a locked box. Now that our nerves have settled and life feels like it's back to normal, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with there being a gun in the house. He’s not a violent person, but sometimes he gets angry when he’s drunk. I really don’t think he would ever try to hurt me, but I still don’t see why it’s necessary to have around. He’s of the mind that if the police can have guns, then he should, too. He leans left so he’s not going to storm the Capitol or anything, and I get where he’s coming from. But it still doesn’t sit right with me. How should I start these conversations and what should I do if he doesn’t want to get rid of it? – UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GUNS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GUNS: I understand your concern for not wanting a weapon in the house. Gun violence is a public health epidemic in this country and so is intimate partner violence. If you aren’t comfortable with the gun in your shared home, you need to sit down and address this in a meaningful way. Share with him your trepidation.  If he drinks too much and then becomes aggressive – even when it isn’t directed towards you – I can understand why you’d be scared. Your anxiety around his drinking is dovetailing with that around the gun being in the home, so make that known. He may have never heard you express that fear before and it could be surprising to him to hear that. Where you stand on guns may not actually solve the issue, but communicating about these things even when there is no clear resolution can result in a deeper understanding, more compassion and eventually could lead you to a road where compromise is on the table. 

DEAR NATALIE: I am experiencing Long COVID symptoms. I have been to a few specialists and while they agree on the diagnosis, they don’t have any answers for me when it comes to treatment. I’m tired all of the time, experience brain fog that interferes with my work and can’t do the type of physical activities that I used to enjoy. This has been going on for a while now and I have never had any other health issues before. I’m 32-years-old. What’s making it worse is that my friends and family don’t seem to care. They think I’m making it up or exaggerating what’s wrong with me. I feel depressed, alone and scared for my future. I am a veterinarian and worry that if this continues, I won’t be able to keep my job. How do I convince my friends and family that I need support, not ridicule? – COVID IS HURTING US

DEAR COVID IS HURTING US: Whether people want to admit it or not, COVID is here and causing ongoing harm for millions of people around the country. The “let it rip” strategy has been an utter and total failure. I stand with you in your frustration. This is not OK. We have been all but abandoned by our government and public health officials. What’s making it worse is the lack of dialogue around the real and severe issues people with Long COVID are facing. No wonder your family and friends aren’t supportive – they aren’t probably aware of the reality hitting some like a ton of bricks. Unfortunately, that means you are going to have to keep educating the people you love about your reality. This is hard and it isn’t fair. There is no going back to “normal” because it doesn’t exist for you and so many. The more visibility we bring to this issue, the more likely it will become a priority. Until then, I encourage you to find communities where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Go online, there are plenty of people connecting via TikTok, X and Threads about COVID. I bet there are people right in your own backyard who are also looking for community to connect, vent and dream together. It will take time, but stay the course and keep the hope alive that they find meaningful treatments for Long COVID. As it continues to impact and disable more people, the groundswell may be too loud to ignore in the coming months.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga