DEAR NATALIE: I’m tired of being concerned about COVID. I’m in my early 30s, single, and open to dating – which was never a big deal for me before 2020, but now it’s so logistically complicated. I want to continue putting my health first and I don’t mind suggesting meeting up with new people in outdoor spaces while it’s still warm out, but I feel like conversations about exclusivity are coming up earlier than they normally would because I’m so concerned about how much spit-swapping is going on. I live alone and work from home, so my risk level is relatively low, but it’s now two people that I’ve dated with kids who have gotten COVID at the beginning of the school year. I don’t want to stop seeing someone just because they have COVID, but it definitely kills the vibe when we’ve just started hanging out. With cases being high, I’d like to meet someone with similar risk mitigation approaches to me. (Yes, I online date!) How can I approach building new relationships and knowing when to weed out the ones who don’t prioritize safety like I do? – COVID CAUTIOUS DATE 

DEAR COVID CAUTIOUS DATE: Like everything it seems these days, dating has also become more serious. People are more blunt and honest up front about the things that matter to them and that could be seen as a positive. By cutting through the niceties that come along with those first dates, you can accelerate the process to find the right person – if that’s your reason for dating. If you’re just looking for casual fun, dating may be more intense than it used to be. On the plus side, being your authentic self and sharing what’s important to you allows you to weed through those people who aren’t the right fit. If taking COVID precautions are important to you – and I’m glad that they are – then finding someone who also feels like you do will save you a lot of stress in the future. There are people out there who are taking this seriously. They exist. It’s just a matter of finding them. Online dating is a great place to start because you can chat without having to meet in person to see if your values are aligned. If they are, then you can meet somewhere COVID-friendly like a park, on a walk or sit at an outdoor cafe. I know you are tired. I know this is frustrating. But, I’m proud of you for prioritizing the safety and health of you and your community by being cautious. Leading with that care and compassion for yourself and others will undoubtedly make some people uncomfortable. It may even push some away. But the person or people you are meant to meet and have meaningful relationships with will find their way to you. Make space for them and let the rest fall to the wayside.

DEAR NATALIE: I recently entered a casual relationship with someone I work with. We had danced around each other for a while, and we’re both excited to be on the same page with interest in each other. She is my subordinate, but we have both been careful about keeping the relationship appropriate both inside and outside of work. Since we’ve gotten together, one of my other employees has started acting out. She had been difficult to work with for some time before this – and other staff have had problems with her in the past – but now she is taking it out on both of us. I had talked to my higher-ups many months ago about considering firing her. Now, I feel a bit apprehensive about the way she may retaliate and use the fact that I’m dating an employee against me. The way she’s been acting is inappropriate and making the rest of the staff struggle to work with her. I feel that she is overreacting about our relationship and taking it out on the rest of the workplace. What should I do? – WORKPLACE DRAMA 

DEAR WORKPLACE DRAMA: If it’s been a while since you discussed this with your bosses, you may want to revisit that conversation with them. Are you “allowed” to be dating someone in your office? I know it may raise eyebrows in some spaces, but others have actual rules when it comes to dating coworkers or subordinates. You may want to have all of your own ducks in a row before you go to your boss and potentially cause more problems for yourself. In the meantime, can you talk to anyone else about approaching your higher-ups about this situation with your disagreeable co-worker? If other people are also having issues with her, having everything documented and in writing is the best path forward. If there are ways to navigate around her in the meantime, I suggest doing just that.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: During the early days of the pandemic, my boyfriend bought a gun because he was afraid that something might happen where he would need to protect us. He went to the shooting range a couple of times to become familiar with it and keeps it in a closet in our bedroom in a locked box. Now that our nerves have settled and life feels like it's back to normal, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with there being a gun in the house. He’s not a violent person, but sometimes he gets angry when he’s drunk. I really don’t think he would ever try to hurt me, but I still don’t see why it’s necessary to have around. He’s of the mind that if the police can have guns, then he should, too. He leans left so he’s not going to storm the Capitol or anything, and I get where he’s coming from. But it still doesn’t sit right with me. How should I start these conversations and what should I do if he doesn’t want to get rid of it? – UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GUNS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GUNS: I understand your concern for not wanting a weapon in the house. Gun violence is a public health epidemic in this country and so is intimate partner violence. If you aren’t comfortable with the gun in your shared home, you need to sit down and address this in a meaningful way. Share with him your trepidation.  If he drinks too much and then becomes aggressive – even when it isn’t directed towards you – I can understand why you’d be scared. Your anxiety around his drinking is dovetailing with that around the gun being in the home, so make that known. He may have never heard you express that fear before and it could be surprising to him to hear that. Where you stand on guns may not actually solve the issue, but communicating about these things even when there is no clear resolution can result in a deeper understanding, more compassion and eventually could lead you to a road where compromise is on the table. 

DEAR NATALIE: I am experiencing Long COVID symptoms. I have been to a few specialists and while they agree on the diagnosis, they don’t have any answers for me when it comes to treatment. I’m tired all of the time, experience brain fog that interferes with my work and can’t do the type of physical activities that I used to enjoy. This has been going on for a while now and I have never had any other health issues before. I’m 32-years-old. What’s making it worse is that my friends and family don’t seem to care. They think I’m making it up or exaggerating what’s wrong with me. I feel depressed, alone and scared for my future. I am a veterinarian and worry that if this continues, I won’t be able to keep my job. How do I convince my friends and family that I need support, not ridicule? – COVID IS HURTING US

DEAR COVID IS HURTING US: Whether people want to admit it or not, COVID is here and causing ongoing harm for millions of people around the country. The “let it rip” strategy has been an utter and total failure. I stand with you in your frustration. This is not OK. We have been all but abandoned by our government and public health officials. What’s making it worse is the lack of dialogue around the real and severe issues people with Long COVID are facing. No wonder your family and friends aren’t supportive – they aren’t probably aware of the reality hitting some like a ton of bricks. Unfortunately, that means you are going to have to keep educating the people you love about your reality. This is hard and it isn’t fair. There is no going back to “normal” because it doesn’t exist for you and so many. The more visibility we bring to this issue, the more likely it will become a priority. Until then, I encourage you to find communities where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Go online, there are plenty of people connecting via TikTok, X and Threads about COVID. I bet there are people right in your own backyard who are also looking for community to connect, vent and dream together. It will take time, but stay the course and keep the hope alive that they find meaningful treatments for Long COVID. As it continues to impact and disable more people, the groundswell may be too loud to ignore in the coming months.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Check out her new radio show every Saturday from 2-5pm EST on KDKA Radio 1020AM, 100.1FM or stream it on the Audacy app or at kdkaradio.com

Watch her new video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Facts Over Fear on their website, penncapital-star.com

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga

DEAR NATALIE: A few years ago, I moved into a house that my dad owns. He lets me stay there rent free while I finish college. In the meantime, I met a girl and we have two kids together. Now it’s me, her, our kids – who are one and three years old – and now her younger brother and mother have moved in. I am thinking about moving out and getting a studio for myself because it is too crowded in my house. My dad also wants everyone to start paying rent. It’s turned into a big issue with my girlfriend who doesn’t think it’s fair that I would move out and leave her with the kids. I don’t want to break up with her. I love her, it’s just I feel like I’m suffocating. Any way to figure this out? – TOO CROWDED

DEAR TOO CROWDED: Not sure why your girlfriend’s brother and mom thought they could just move in, but you moving out is not the answer. The answer is they need to go and find their own place. If you move out and leave it all on your girlfriend’s shoulders, I doubt you’ll have a girlfriend for very much longer. Plus, your children need you and it’s time to step into your responsibilities. Talk to your girlfriend about her brother and mom moving in. Is this temporary? What is their long-term plan? Do they need assistance to find another place to live? How can you be of help to make that a reality? Do what you can but set a timeline. I appreciate that sometimes we all need a hand up, but it’s not fair to you or your growing family not to have the space you need.

DEAR NATALIE: My mom is a wonderful person who has terrible taste in men. Her most recent boyfriend is an alcoholic. My mom drinks too much and I think being with him has made it all the more acceptable. Well, a few months ago she had a few too many and crashed her vehicle into a stop sign. Thank goodness no one else was hurt, but she was banged up pretty bad. She also was arrested for drunk driving and her boyfriend was in the car with her at the time. They got into a big argument and now they are taking a “break.” My mom was doing so much better without his influence. I think the arrest made her wake up and question her decisions. Recently, he has been reaching out to her again and I think he wants her back. She is toying with this idea. I’m begging her not to bring him back into the fold, citing the most recent issue with the police. She got angry with me and told me that “things are different now for her and she won’t go backwards.” I don’t believe her. What can I do to make her see that he is a huge part of the problem? – LOVE MY MOM, HATE THE DRINKING 

DEAR LOVE MY MOM, HATE THE DRINKING: Unfortunately, you can’t control what your mother decides to do, but you can set boundaries for how you interact with her should she start dating this guy again. If she wants to see him, then you can say to her, “Mom, I love you. I want you safe and healthy. I recognize you don’t need my permission to date but if you start seeing him, I will have to set the following boundaries with you…” and then list what it is you will or won’t do anymore. Maybe that means limiting the time you spend with her. Maybe that means you go to her to visit so that she doesn’t get behind the wheel. Perhaps it means when you hang out you won’t be drinking. Set your expectations and your limits. It’s hard to watch someone hurt themselves, especially when you love them so much. But all you can do is control your actions. Set the tone and seek support if you need it.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga