DEAR NATALIE: I’ve just started dating someone new that I’m really excited about. We’re keeping it casual because he just got out of a long term relationship, which works well for me. He still lives with his ex-partner in the house they own together. Based on what my date has told me, they have a neutral relationship that doesn’t bother them and living together feels fine. I don’t think the ex is getting in the way of our relationship developing, and I want to have a good relationship with him, because he obviously played a big part of his life – and he’s still around. We’ve only had a couple of interactions at their house so far and he seemed a little passive aggressive. I can handle it for now, and I don’t feel like it’s my place to encourage him to figure out if one of them will move out of their house any time soon, so I guess I’m just curious how you would handle this. I don’t expect him to love me, but I do hope we can keep the peace. How should I handle this with my date, and with his ex? –WHY YOU GOTTA BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

DEAR WHY YOU GOTTA BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: If we looked up the definition of “awkward” in the dictionary, my guess is that this would be it. Let’s take a step back and look at it from the ex’s perspective. He is still living with his ex-partner – who has moved on already. He hasn’t yet moved out of their shared place (for whatever reason) and I’m sure that feels uncomfortable. There could be lingering feelings – conscious or not – creating even more tension and frustration. And then you walk in the door. All things considered, it sounds as though they are both trying to handle this as maturely as possible. So what can you do to make it easier on yourself and everyone involved? Stay out of it as best you can. Obviously, you may be in the house from time to time, but perhaps date nights should be at your place or out in public until they start to figure out how long this situation will last. If it’s a few more weeks, great. If not, you may want to talk to him so he can communicate to his ex about a schedule that works for everyone. And keeping it casual makes a lot of sense… especially while they are still under the same roof! Just another reason we need more affordable housing…

DEAR NATALIE: Next month I’m going on vacation with my boyfriend’s family. He was raised really Catholic, and went to religious schooling all through college, and has since moved away from the church. His parents and siblings are still incredibly close to their religion, along with some political views that I find to be… unsavory. His approach is to keep things chill and say very little, but recent political events have had him a bit more on edge about wanting to open up conversations with them. He doesn’t have a temper, but some of them do. I want to be a supportive partner and be able to stand by his side and support him in communicating about our shared beliefs with his family. This issue comes up especially around abortion. I’ve had more than one (they don’t know this) and know that they don’t “believe it is right.” I’m especially nervous that this will come up and I’ll lose my temper on behalf of all of the women in my position. How can I communicate with them… without getting excommunicated? –SPEAKING MY TRUTH

DEAR SPEAKING MY TRUTH: What are the three things they say we should never speak about at the dinner table? Religion, politics and sex. Abortion fits into that trifecta of disastrous table talk. I recognize your desire to stand your ground, but I have to ask you, would you rather be right or be happy? The reality is, you aren’t going to change anyone’s mind on this, just like they aren’t going to change yours. If they bring up an unsavory subject, change it. Deflect and redirect. Your desire to defend your partner is admirable, but for the sake of your mental health, what will be accomplished by fueling the flames? It can be hard to be the bigger person here, and you may be asking why you have to be. Well... you don’t. But what kind of a relationship will you have if you engage with them and cause everyone to lose their temper? If they bring it up, remind them that they are entitled to their beliefs – as are you – and that it may be better for everyone’s sake if that rock isn’t overturned. If they don’t like that, you can distance yourself. And if they ask why? Tell them that unless they can respect you the way you respect them, there won’t be much of a future to speak of.

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DEAR NATALIE: I really liked this guy I met a few months ago. He liked me, too. We went on several dates and it was starting to feel serious. We weren’t exclusive – yet – but it was heading in that direction. Then, he met my friend, Kate, at my birthday party a few weeks ago. She knew I was super into this guy. She likes to flirt and drink and they made out on and off during my party. I was so upset and literally crying in the bathroom to my other friends. On my birthday. Kate’s reaction was so wild. She didn’t even care. She was so nonchalant about it. She said to me, “When I get drunk, I make out with everyone. It’s his issue, not mine. I’m not the one dating you.” I was taken aback and just cried some more. Now I feel as though I’ve lost my friend and this guy. He texted me the next day, claiming he “was so drunk, he didn’t remember” kissing her. Is that supposed to comfort me? I am not sure what to do. Should I just never bring her around boyfriends or guys I like? Should I give him another chance? I’m at a loss and still really sad. – BUMMER OF A BIRTHDAY

DEAR BUMMER OF A BIRTHDAY: We are going to start accepting the things we cannot change, and focus on what we can change. You cannot change either of these people and you’ve seen who they are. You cannot unsee it. So now, we focus on setting up boundaries. Cut this guy loose. You don’t need to go any farther down this road with him. It's a blessing in disguise that you saw this side of him so quickly. If this is how he is behaving and you aren’t even “exclusive,” I don’t want to know what happens next. I’m sorry you liked him, but you do not need to give him any more attention or energy. As for your friend, I would keep a healthy distance from her. She can be the “nonchalant makeout” person, but you get to be who you are. And you are allowed to keep space for yourself and whoever you bring into your life. She doesn’t get an automatic invite. These people don’t get to walk all over you. Own your space. Moving forward, you don't have to keep people around who do things like this.

DEAR NATALIE: My soon-to-be wife comes from a very wealthy family. They want me to sign a prenup, which I understand. But this prenup is completely unfair and leaves me with absolutely nothing if we divorce. They barely cover any moving expenses. I brought up these issues to her, and she was angry with me that I would even question the prenup. She said that it “sounded as though I was only marrying her for the money since I won’t sign it as is.” I explained to her that I am going to sign it, but shouldn’t it be somewhat fair? It became a huge fight and now we aren’t speaking. The wedding is in six weeks and I want to put this behind us, but frankly I was hurt by how she reacted. This should be a happy time for us and instead I feel as though this is a cloud over everything. Any suggestions on how to navigate this and get us back on track? – PRENUP MESS 

DEAR PRENUP MESS: You need to get your own lawyer. Stop talking about this directly with your fiancé. Her family has representation and so should you. Prenups don’t have to be these scary things. While I agree that it makes sense as to why her family would request one, you are allowed to negotiate to at least make things somewhat fair for you, as well. Hire a lawyer and explain to them what you would like to get out of this agreement. Then, let the lawyers handle it. This is an extremely emotional time with the upcoming wedding and you don’t want to be fixated on the “what ifs.” Let them do their jobs and you can focus on repairing your relationship post-fight. She’s allowed to feel her feelings, but yours are valid, too. Work on coming back together and remembering why you fell in love. Hopefully, the lawyers can come to an agreement that everyone can live with and you can live happily ever after – and never even have to think of that document again.

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DEAR NATALIE: One of my best friends is married to someone who I thought was a great guy. I’m happily married, and the four of us go out a lot. We even have a group text and send funny memes and make plans through it. Well, the other night, he slid into my DMs on Instagram and told me I looked “beautiful” on our double date. He then called me a “goddess.” I responded with “???”. He never responded back. I was super uncomfortable and showed it to my husband. He basically shrugged and said he wasn’t surprised because he’s seen him flirt with other women, too, when we’ve been out. I was really shocked because he’s never behaved like this with me in the past. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even want to see him because I’m so embarrassed. But what if my friend reads his DMs and then gets angry at me for having not told her? I am at a loss. What do you think I should do? – SLIDE AWAY

DEAR SLIDE AWAY: Yikes. This is one of those situations that feels as though you are damned either way. If you ignore this and then it comes out later, she may be angry with you. If you confront him, this could get really awkward. You have to just follow your gut on this one. I would wait and see if this was a one-time thing or if he will try to make another move. If he never brings it up or tries to bother you ever again, I would just keep this information to yourself. If he tries again, you DM him back and say, “If you keep bothering me, I’m going to involve our partners. What is wrong with you? I’m clearly not interested in whatever game you are playing. (His wife’s name) doesn’t deserve this. Stop.” If he acts wounded or weird, so what? He’s the one out of line. Establish this boundary and keep it moving. I would also cool it on double dates for a while. You don’t have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. I just feel badly for your friend. If this is his behavior towards you, think of what he’s doing with people he doesn’t know as well. 

DEAR NATALIE: I am a freelance social media manager and I work with a ton of different brands across the country. I was working a job the other day and my friend tagged along because they want to learn how to do this work. I was happy to let them shadow me and play “assistant.” Well, they did more than that. This was a newer client and while I was filming a Reel, they pitched themselves to my client. They made up some lies about all this experience they have. They even said that they taught me how to do this work! I was so appalled. My client filled me in afterwards because they just thought it was so inappropriate. I apologized profusely. They weren’t upset with me, but they did tell me that I shouldn’t take them on jobs anymore. Should I confront my friend? I’ve been ghosting them for a few days. I’m so hurt and confused. What’s the best course of action? –JOB STEALER  

DEAR JOB STEALER: If this is your friend, I’d be scared to see who your enemies are. Confront this situation and put them on ice. You don’t need to be supporting someone who is trying to harm you. They could have screwed up this account for you. As a freelancer, every single job matters. How dare they try to take food out of your mouth. What really burns me up about this is the fact that you were trying to be supportive and helpful. This is not how you build and sustain healthy relationships – professional or personal. Cut this person loose.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

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Follow her on Instagram and TikTok

@NatalieBencivenga