DEAR NATALIE: My brother recently passed away from cancer and my sister-in-law had some of our mother’s jewelry that he had given to her over the years. They didn’t have any children, and I would like to keep a few of the pieces she has in our family. I have no idea how to bring this up to her without making her upset. What do you think I should do? How do I tactfully bring this up?
–AWKWARD CONVERSATION
DEAR AWKWARD CONVERSATION: I certainly would give this at least six months before you bring this up to her – if you bring it up at all. Did you receive any jewelry from your mother? If you have some pieces from her collection, I would let it be. If your sister-in-law had a relationship with your mother, she may look at your request as hurtful considering she lost her husband and now you want her to return the jewelry that he gave her to you. Tread lightly here. She has gone through a considerable loss. It could end up causing a rift between you both – is it really worth it?
DEAR NATALIE: I’ve been struggling with long-term Covid-19 symptoms for months and I don’t feel as though my husband has any support or understanding for me. I have bouts of fatigue and brain fog as well as debilitating headaches. My doctor has brushed me off, and I don’t really feel as though people understand what some of us are dealing with. Yesterday, I just couldn’t get off the couch and had to miss work. My husband was upset and said that “we can’t afford for me to continue on this way.” But instead of offering any solutions or help, he just made it sound as though I am becoming a burden to him, like he’d rather get rid of me. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone. –COVID NIGHTMARE
DEAR COVID NIGHTMARE: I am so sorry that you are trying to navigate a situation that has caused so much stress on you and your relationships. The first thing that I would do is to find another doctor. Unfortunately, the way our sick care system is set up in this country, you have to be your own advocate. I would research doctors in your area that are working with Covid-19 patients who are experiencing long term effects. If there is a doctor – but they are not in your area – see if they can do a consultation via Zoom. You may need to have a conversation with your employer about what is going on if you haven’t already. I don’t know what kind of work you do, but if there is any way for you to work remotely more often, perhaps that can help alleviate some of your anxieties when you are feeling fatigued. They may want or need a doctor’s note – which is problematic if your doctor is brushing you off – but this could be a short term solution until you are able to see someone who is more helpful. As far as your husband is concerned, he needs to step up to the plate. Relationships aren’t always easy, but you didn't ask to feel this way. Share with him how scared, frustrated and upset you are. Share how you need his support now more than ever. If he can’t be there for you – what kind of a marriage is this and what is he bringing to the table if not love and support in your time of need?
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