DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two years and we are crazy about each other. I definitely see wedding bells in our future. Recently, he was offered a fantastic opportunity in another city. He said I should move with him and we can get a place together. I agreed and was excited until I talked to my friends. They were like, “Why would you move without a commitment (i.e., a ring)?” and “why would you give up everything for him?” I was shocked by their reaction and now I have two questions: Should I move to a new city and live with him without a ring? And should I be mad at my friends? I don’t think they are being supportive, but I don’t know what to do now. I’m utterly confused. 

-- MOVE FOR LOVE?

DEAR MOVE FOR LOVE: Follow your gut. You were excited about this until your friends clouded your initial reaction. You have to ask yourself: “Is this what I want? Do I want to move? Do I want to try and see where this relationship can go?” If you can believe it can go the distance, then take a leap of faith. But first you should ask him where he thinks this relationship is going. Tell him that you want to move, but it is a big jump and he needs to be aware of what you are sacrificing. If you expect an engagement soon, tell him. Gauge his response and reaction. If he’s on the same page, I say go big or go home. But reassess if he doesn’t seem interested in an engagement or feels moving in is the next step without marriage in the cards. What do you want? You can be wildly in love with someone and it still may not work out — you must have the same vision of the future. Reflect on what you want and need. As for your friends, don’t judge them too harshly. They have your best interest at heart, hopefully, and are probably asking you the tough questions to make sure you’ve fully considered the future. Plus — and they may never admit this to you — they may not want you to move because they’ll miss you. Humans are complicated creatures.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don’t interrupt. Remember, the point of networking is to learn about the other person, so give them an opportunity to speak. You don’t have to dominate the conversation to seem interested in what they are saying. Allow them space to share.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My father and I haven’t spoken in a long time and he is engaged to be married. I’ve never met the woman he is marrying, but he sent me an invite in the mail. When I was coming out years ago, he didn’t accept it and we grew apart. Now that I am happily married to a wonderful guy, I find myself wanting to reconnect with my father. We want to start a family soon and I would like for our future children to meet him. I think this invitation is his olive branch, but my husband says I shouldn’t get my hopes up for a reconciliation. I do expect an apology before I go to the wedding. Do you think I should call him?  -- FEELING FATHERLESS

DEAR FEELING FATHERLESS: I’m so sorry that your father didn’t accept you when you came out to him. Rejection from a family member can hurt so much and run so deep. I agree that this invite is an olive branch. He may be ashamed of his behavior when he turned you away instead of embracing and loving you for who you are. Maybe he realized what he did was wrong, but he can’t find the words to tell you. However, this does not replace an apology. You deserve one, you need one and I don’t know how you could move forward without one. There needs to be a call before you see him again. This RSVP gives you the perfect excuse. Tell him that you need to talk before you agree to attend the wedding. Hopefully, this will propel him into apologizing immediately. It may not. Either way, you deserve to tell him how you feel and how he hurt you when he shunned you. In a perfect world, he would call you to make amends, but sometimes people need us to meet them where they are. Take this situation as an invitation to perhaps heal. You don’t have to forget what he did to you, but hopefully there is a way to forgive and begin again.

DEAR NATALIE: I just broke up with my boyfriend. We had been together almost three years, but he just couldn’t get his life together. It was so frustrating to always have to be the “grown-up” in every situation. I ended up being more like a parent than a girlfriend, and I just couldn’t live like that anymore.I started dating his good friend, and now they’ve had a falling out over it. On top of it, my ex is trying to win me back, and I feel really torn. I loved my ex, but my new relationship is going well. Do you think I should give my ex a second chance? .-- TORN BETWEEN TWO

DEAR TORN BETWEEN TWO:The first thing I thought of when I read this letter was that your ex wants what he can’t have. It’s like a contest now, a way to placate his ego and make him feel like the big dog if he can steal you back from his once-upon-a-time friend. The question you have to ask yourself is: Do you really want him back? Or is the idea of him fighting for you a turn-on? Is there part of you that started dating his friend so that he would fight for you? Do you really like this new guy, or do you really like that it gets under the skin of your ex that you are dating his friend? The only way to rid yourself of your ex may be to remove yourself entirely from his circle and move on. It sounds as though you had good reasons to dump him. Don’t let your ego get in the way of your good judgment.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Please don’t ask for a job. When you are networking, the idea is to gather information that could lead to the right connections to help you in your job search. But directly asking people at a networking event to help you land a position is going to be a turn-off. Down the road, once you have established a network, then you can discuss if they can support you in your job search. Slow and steady wins the race.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

DEAR NATALIE: I recently broke things off with my fiancé. I caught him cheating on me with several other women and realized how blind I had been. He is demanding my (very large!) ring back, and I feel as though I am entitled to keep it since he was the one cheating and ruining our relationship. What do you think I should do? He doesn’t deserve it, in my opinion! -- RINGLESS

DEAR RINGLESS: As much as I think you should run fast to the jeweler and cash that big rock in, it doesn’t really work that way. An engagement ring is a contractual piece of jewelry. If you aren’t getting married, you shouldn’t keep the ring. Plus, it will feel really satisfying to throw it at his head while you scream dramatically about the cheating scandal that he created. All kidding aside, I know it can be tempting to keep the ring as a form of retaliation, but in the end, it may feel even better to rid yourself of any energy attached to him and the relationship. Return the ring, move on with your life and be glad you dodged this bullet. Give yourself some space and time to heal from what happened, and when you’re ready, turn the page, and write your future with characters who love and cherish you.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I am a 40-something whose first marriage ended in divorce. I have three children with my ex-wife. After the divorce, I just about left everything to my ex — house and everything in it — so that my children’s lives would remain as normal as possible. Since then, my ex packed up and moved out of state. It has taken me close to eight years to rebuild my life, especially since I pay a healthy child support. I finally own a house again and have been able to put a little money back on my 401K. I’m finally not living paycheck to paycheck. I also met a wonderful woman over two years ago who I adore, and we are engaged. I have never been someone to care for someone else’s stuff and have worked hard for what I have, but I have a dilemma. My fiancée doesn't have much, but she has saved up some money for buying a new house. We live in my current home, but she still wants to move to a different town and buy a house together. We don't plan to have any children together. Having gone through a divorce and losing a lot, I admit that I am afraid of losing everything again. Am I out of line to ask for a prenuptial agreement? 

We briefly talked about it once before we got engaged, but the conversation needs to happen again soon and I am not sure how to bring it up. I also want her to know that I am not interested in what she has and would like for her to feel that whatever she brings into the marriage, she keeps in case of a split. I adore and love her. I know that the fear comes from my past and that I am not getting any younger. If I have any chance to ever retire, I can't take any step backward financially. We are a great couple together and I don't want to give her the wrong impression.-- MR. TORN

DEAR MR. TORN: You shouldn’t feel guilty or bad about wanting to protect your financial future. You have been through it and it is understandable that you’re nervous. Approach the topic gently — it seems as though she is already aware of your past financial struggles, and communication is key.  Yes, love is the most powerful force in the world, I believe that to be true. Yes, it can overcome anything. But, that doesn’t mean you have to lose your head when you are in love. Be honest and say to her what you wrote to me. This isn’t about your relationship uncertainty; this is about learning from the past. Sit down together with a mediator and hash out what you could both live with should the marriage not work out as planned. Think about your prenup as relationship insurance and nothing more. Hopefully, you will never need it, but if you do, at least you put something in place while you were both in love and kind to one another.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Follow through with your words. If you commit to an event, go. If you promise to call and set up a meeting, do it. People will judge you by your actions and will reciprocate based on their own experience firsthand.

DEAR NATALIE:  I had a bad falling out with a good friend a few years ago. We haven’t spoken since. It was over money, but looking back, it was really petty. She owed me a few hundred dollars and it turned into a passive aggressive situation. We stopped talking and I never got the money. She wasn’t on social media for a long time, but I recently noticed she was back on Instagram. Part of me wants to reach out, but the other part feels like she was the one in the wrong and she should apologize to me. What do you think? I miss her and I would like to reconnect. I don’t expect to be paid back but I’m willing to let it go if she acknowledges it. -- MONEY PROBLEMS

DEAR MONEY PROBLEMS: Money and friends don’t mix well. It’s always a good idea to keep this in mind when loaning money to a friend: 1) Can I afford to lose this money? 2) I’ll treat this as a gift to them. If they pay me back, wonderful. If they don’t, I won’t set myself up to become angry and resentful. 3) If you can’t commit to one and two, don’t loan anyone money. Period. I’m sure it did become awkward over time, expecting her to repay you and then never getting any money back. Maybe she forgot, maybe she couldn’t pay it back and felt embarrassed, maybe she misunderstood the situation. Whatever the case, I’m sorry it led to the demise of your friendship. Now that you are in a different place, can you move forward and put this in the past? How important to you is that apology? I wouldn’t reach out unless you are certain you can move on from this, because it’s clear you’re still not over it. I don’t blame you. From your perspective, it’s hard to have respect for someone that you see as perhaps ungrateful or unaware of how she treated you. Maybe she will apologize and you can both move forward. There’s only one way to find out. Go for it and see where the chips fall.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)