DEAR NATALIE: I have been freelancing for this company for a while and have really helped them revamp their online business to the point where they are making almost double the money they were when I came on board. I'm a single mother and in dire financial straits. I couldn't even afford a new tire recently when mine went flat on my way home from work and feel as though I am entitled to a raise and an offer for a full-time position because of the improvements I've made. But I'm terrified to broach the subject. Any thoughts on how I should go about this? Or should I just not say anything at all? -- UNDERPAID

DEAR UNDERPAID: This is the classic issue women often have when negotiating for a better position, or when looking for a new job. I've read in different studies that women are so afraid that they aren't qualified, they don't apply because they don't believe they would get the job. Then, on the other side of things, you have men who apply for positions even when not qualified. (And they sometimes get the job!) So, what's a girl to do? Take a leap of faith. I have often gone after things that may have been perceived as just out of reach and achieved them because I believed I could do it. I always say to myself, "I will figure this out. If the right opportunity comes along, I will say yes and I will make it work." Call it blind faith, call it stupidity, call it courage, whatever it is, part of success is sometimes thinking less and jumping more. A little risk is good and if you know that you have the ability to adapt, to think on your feet and to learn quickly, you can take almost any opportunity presented and run with it. So, apply for the job, see where the chips fall, but don't count yourself out. If you aren't your own best advocate, you can't expect anyone else to help you. Just go for it!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Never underestimate the power of the follow-up note. Sending a handwritten thank-you note following a job interview can go a long way. It will reiterate your interest, show that you care and will take the time for things that matter, and put you in the forefront of their minds.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: On the subject of wedding thank-you's, how do you deal with guests not even giving a gift at all? Our daughter just got married, and we hosted a lovely reception. Numerous relatives (and their plus-ones) traveled in from out of town. They even stayed at our home for a long weekend of celebration. When the bride and groom opened their gifts, only two couples out of the group of 12 gave a gift. Not a thing from the others, not even a card! This summer, they came to this new bride's shower and gave gifts.

In the past, this group of cousins has come to other weddings, graduation parties, etc., without gifts. One family member asked after one of the weddings (in case the gift had gotten lost or stolen), and they showed up the next day with a gift. They are not destitute, nor are they social misfits. Should we bring it up or just write them off for the next family event? -- FAMILY MATTERS

DEAR FAMILY MATTERS: I have to say, I love the "Oh, did your gift get stolen?" and then poof! Magically a gift arrives.

A lot of this is cultural, I believe. Some families teach their children to take gifts when going to someone's home, for a big celebration and to always write a thank-you note, etc. Some families, on the other hand, don't make these niceties a part of their daily lives.

So, what can you really do? It seems petty to me to not invite people just because they don't bring a gift. If you really like them, you may have to look beyond this. On the other hand, if you do decide to write them off and not invite them to family events and they call you asking why -- well, you may have to have a very awkward conversation. Practice it with someone, and if it feels petty when you say it out loud, just invite them. Better to have everyone together than exclude a few because they have poor manners. (Besides, you can always feel superior inside, which is a fun game relatives love to do with one another.)

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Speak your truth. If you want something, whether it is a promotion, a new job or new opportunities, they come to those who openly talk about them. The first step to anything is putting out feelers to your network. You've been building relationships. Now tap into them!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My dear friend and her boyfriend have been together for years, and they recently became engaged. All of us are very close, and he and I often hang out when she can’t. However, last weekend we got really drunk and we ended up sleeping together. I know I made a huge mistake. Now I have no idea how to act around him because the whole thing has me feeling so uncomfortable. I’m worried he is going to say something to her or that he expects something from me. What do I do? Any advice? — CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE:  Yikes. Uncomfortable? That is the word we are using here? How about, “I feel like a terrible person for betraying my dear friend’s trust.” How “dear” of a friend could she be if you willingly slept with her fiancé? Granted, he is the one who cheated, but you also cheated in a sense. You were not a loyal friend, and you broke major “girl code” here. I also sense that you are more concerned about what happens next as opposed to feeling terribly about what happened. The only way to deal with this is to admit the truth. She deserves to know because things are only going to grow more awkward around her and her fiancé as time goes on whenever you are around. Plus, if I was engaged and my fiancé cheated, I would want to know so I could throw the ring at his head. He probably will try to talk you out of telling her — for that reason — but she needs to know. You both deeply betrayed her, and you most likely will lose your friendship, but the guilt of living with what you did to her will eat you up inside if you don’t come clean. Own up to what you did. Don’t wait for him to admit the truth. Accept the consequences and work on yourself. You need to ask yourself why you would do this to a friend and what kind of person you want to be moving forward. Seems to me like you have a lot of work to do.

DEAR NATALIE: How can you be a supportive friend/girlfriend to someone who is really depressed? Sometimes, it gets really hard to be around someone you constantly feel like you have to lift up. Not only is it tiring and you run out of uplifting things to say, but it brings me down, too. If he doesn’t help himself, how can I help him? I don’t want to walk away and leave him stranded, but I can’t handle his depression. It’s been a year, now. It isn’t like this is a mini-phase he is going through. Clearly, he is depressed, and I am really worried. 

— DEALING WITH A DOWNER

DEAR DEALING WITH A DOWNER: Many of us have probably been in a situation where you end up playing therapist to a loved one. It isn’t healthy for either of you to place yourself in this dynamic, and it can end up destroying relationships. All you can do is be loving and suggest that he seek support from a professional source. Perhaps he needs therapy. Maybe he needs medication to get him through this rough time. He may even need both. Whatever the situation, whether it’s an external force exerting itself on him or struggles within, he needs to acknowledge that there is no shame in reaching out. So many people suffer in silence, isolated and alone with their thoughts because of the societal stigma we needlessly place on mental health. If we break a bone, don’t we seek medical attention? When we find ourselves under the weather, don’t we take medication or provide ourselves space to rest and recover? Why don’t we do the same for our mental health? He may be internalizing the shame and stigma and unsure of what to do next. If you can reach out to your health care provider and find a few resources to help him, that would be a good start. Provide him with a list of supportive resources and see what happens from there. Explain to him that his mental health is important to you, but when he isolates himself, you find it hard to know what to do. Explain to him that you have noticed this for more than a year now and would like to support him in any way that you can. He may not even be aware of how it is impacting the people around him. He may just need a gentle nudge in a healthier direction. But remember, you cannot fix anyone. If he won’t work on himself and continues to be a negative force in your life, you may have to take a few steps back from the relationship.

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: It takes time to build relationships, so don’t rush it. Trust builds as your friendship grows, so nurture your network to engage with people over time. It’ll make a difference to let it unfold organically.

Need advice? Send questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com. Follow Natalie on Twitter @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci.