DEAR NATALIE: I've been invited to a close friend's child's wedding. There are a few factors involved in my decision too attend. The wedding is four hours away in northern Pennsylvania in the middle of winter. The only people I will know there are the parents of the groom. I am concerned about the possible weather conditions at that time of year. There is a hotel nearby that has rooms available, but the rooms are very expensive, out of my comfort price zone. What should I do? -- UNDECIDED

DEAR UNDECIDED: You have two options. You can go, spend the money, meet new people and be a part of your friend's child's special day, or you can send a really nice gift from the bridal registry and RSVP your regrets. It doesn't sound like you really want to go - weddings can be weird enough, more so if you don't know anyone and are stuck in a random location overnight - but I would weigh it out. Is this the type of friend who will be understanding if you decide not to go, or will you hear about it for the rest of your life? If you think all will be well, remove the burden from your shoulders and stay home. But, if you think your friend will be offended, you may want to start saving your pennies!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: What are your goals? Share your aspirations with someone you trust who can give you good advice on how to bring them to fruition. Until we speak it out loud, it doesn't become real, and we can't make it happen if it exists only in our minds. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I recently quit my stable yet unsatisfying job to work with a friend who offered me more money to help her launch her business. I was promised a few things, including a full-time position with flexibility to work from home a few days a week. (I have two small children, so this was very important to me.) However, I didn't realize how emotionally unstable my friend was, and working with her has been a bit of a nightmare. I was tasked to do project management and client development, but she has little understanding of what my role entails, and when I try to do things on my own, she becomes offended. Now she wants to bring in another person, and it feels as though I am being pushed out. This is making me nervous, as I quit my job with the assumption of security on her end. Can I bring this up to her? She also has been acting weird about me working from home, but when I work with her at her home office, all she wants to do is talk about her less-than-stellar love life. I get nothing done and have a ton of work to do when I'm home. What should I do? -- HAVING REGRETS

DEAR HAVING REGRETS: My first question for you is, "Did you get it in writing?" I bring this up because I have been burned in the past due to my trusting nature. Even though it may seem counterintuitive to have to do that with a friend, it is even more of a necessity. That way, when things get messy (and they always do!), you can at least point to your piece of paper for guidelines.

Assuming you didn't have a written contract, it seems to me that you have two options: 1. Put up with her emotional nonsense and hope that she doesn't push you out. Try to work around her neuroses but cap the amount of time you spend with her. (Perhaps only go work with her for half of each day so there is still time to get "real" work done when you are home and start looking for another position.) 2. Just be direct with her about what is going on. Explain that you left a stable position to work with her, and you are concerned about boundaries at work, your responsibilities and the workflow. Bring this up gently, because she seems temperamental, and I would come with documents. Lay out a plan. Lay out the work day. Present to her exactly what you want so that there is no more confusion moving forward. And if you haven't signed a contract? Get a lawyer to help you draft something that is fair and reasonable and present it to her. If you are moving forward together, you need to be on the same page.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Know your worth. It can be tempting (especially if you are just starting out) to undervalue what you do and what your capabilities are. But, remember, you can always negotiate contracts, salaries and perks, so start with everything you want and see what happens. Don't slam a door on yourself!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE:  My boyfriend and I haven’t been dating for that long, but we are already talking about marriage and children. We both are on the same page and want the same things in life, but there is one problem that is making me very hesitant about moving forward. He still has a close relationship with his ex-girlfriend. When I told him that it made me very uncomfortable and that I didn’t want him hanging out with her, he basically blew me off and said he wouldn’t give that up. But, I don’t get it. He wants to marry me but won’t stop talking to his ex. What should I do? I’m in love with him but not comfortable with this. — HESITATION

DEAR HESITATION:  While I would like to be totally progressive about this and think we can all be friends with our exes without there being a problem, I’m not European. Instead, I see red flags and sirens going off all around this situation. Now, whether they are rooted in reality is another story, but something just isn’t sitting right with me. While you shouldn’t control who your partner talks to, it does seem strange that he is putting his relationship with her over his relationship with you. If this guy really wants to marry you and have children, there needs to be a sense that he has your back no matter what. Have you ever brought up to him the fact that you are worried he may still be in love with her? Maybe he didn’t want to break up with her in the first place. Be really direct about this with him and get to the bottom of why their relationship is so important to him that he is willing to risk his relationship with you. Time also will tell. Since you haven’t been together for that long, maybe their relationship really is platonic. Maybe she’s happily in a relationship, and they are really just friends. I’ll forever be an optimist, but I’m also a realist. Get to the bottom of this or move on. You deserve to be a priority with the man who says he loves you. And if he can’t prioritize you now, then when?

DEAR NATALIE: I’m friends with this really great guy. He and I have always “just been friends,” but recently, he pulled me aside and said that he has always loved me. It totally caught me off guard. He also has a girlfriend, so I told him we couldn’t even have this conversation because he was in a relationship. Well, two days later, I got a phone call, and he had broken up with her. He wanted to take me out. I kept an open mind, but there was no spark. So, I let him know that I didn’t feel the same way. I felt awful, and we didn’t speak for months. I called him up recently and asked him if he wanted to meet for coffee. We met, I told him I wanted to be friends, and he seemed cool with it. He even asked me to join him to see a play later that week. Well, of course, when we went out, he misconstrued it as a “date” and was totally upset when I had to explain to him AGAIN that I just wanted to be friends. Now, we aren’t speaking, and I still feel awful. Should I reach out to him? — JUST FRIENDS

DEAR JUST FRIENDS: Why do you enjoy torturing this poor guy? Stop trying to reel him back in only to get his hopes up. I know you said you just want to be friends, but those mixed signals are only making this worse. You have to stop contacting him. If you really care about him as a human being, let him go.

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Dress to impress. You know that old saying: “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have,” has some truth to it. When you dress with confidence, people take note. Stand out in the crowd by wearing what makes you feel your best. Your positive energy will shine through and attract people to you.

Need advice? Send questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com. Follow Natalie on Twitter @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci.