DEAR NATALIE: I am a married man with children. While my wife and I have been married for many years, our relationship was not always good, and we fought a lot. However, through counseling, we were able to work through it, and I have never cheated on my wife, even when things were rocky between us. My wife and I have a good romantic life, we get along well and are best friends. Our lives are not perfect, but in general we live a good life.

But I have become increasingly attracted to a single female co-worker. It is more than just physical; I have strong feelings for her. We are friends. I have tried everything I know to bury my feelings for her. I mostly avoid her when I can. My co-worker is not more attractive than my wife, but she has other qualities. I have tried everything to get away from her (even attempting to switch jobs), but nothing works. I feel that telling my co-worker about my feelings would be a mistake, because chances are it would make things very, very awkward at work and probably hurt my career. Also, I don't want to tell my wife because it would just hurt her.

I don't know what to do. -- DROWNING

DEAR DROWNING: Like the idea of forbidden fruit, wanting what we don't have always seems sweeter. You already know this is a bad idea and that expressing your emotions to either party will only make the situation worse. Instead of pining for what you can't have, why not tend to your own marriage and try dating your wife again? Sometimes, we take the people we love for granted, assuming that they will always be there. But what if tomorrow she wasn't there when you got up in the morning?

My advice (and I can't take credit for this, my partner said this to me once) is to mythologize your wife. Put her on a pedestal. Turn her into Aphrodite, into Venus, into a goddess that you can adore. Take a moment to transfer that energy you are putting on your co-worker and give it to her instead.

Maybe you are going through an emotional crisis, unsure of where to take your life. If you have a solid foundation with your wife, talk to her about your fears, your dreams, your desires. Be present together and remember why you fell in love. Sometimes, it takes a distraction for us to realize what really matters. And what really matters is the woman next to you day in and day out.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: You aren't going to get along with everyone you meet, but that shouldn't prevent you from reaching out to people with differences to try to find common ground. You may be able to forge friendly relationships and leverage those connections later on. Remember, you get more bees with honey than vinegar!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I went out on a date with a woman I met online. I haven't been on a first date in a while. She and I are both in our early 30s. Before dessert had even arrived she started talking about how she wants to have children and if I don't want children there really wasn't any reason to continue the date. I was so taken aback that I told her, "No, actually I don't want kids," (which isn't exactly true, but she caught me off guard and I was weirded out by it), and she basically ended the date. The sad part is, she was really funny and cute - or so I thought. I guess my question is, are all women over 30 baby crazy? Should I be prepared for an interrogation every time I go out? -- BABY ON THE BRAIN

DEAR BABY ON THE BRAIN: I can assure you that not all women over the age of 30 are baby crazy. In fact, I know plenty of women who have very little interest in having children. But, the only way you will find out which woman is right for you is to keep dating. I know it can seem overwhelming, but relationships take time to grow and build. In fact, this woman did you a favor by being so upfront about her feelings. She wants a partner who wants kids, and you hesitated, so she bolted. While it made for an awkward conversation with the waiter when he or she came by and saw you sitting there alone, dazed and confused, it works out in the long run because she didn't waste your time. Moving forward, I doubt you will experience that kind of directness (for better or worse) with women, but don't get discouraged. As I read on the inside of a bottle cap once, "There is a lid for every pot."

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Arianna Huffington said it best: "Collaboration is the new competition." No one is an island in the new business landscape, and if you want to increase your visibility, collaborate with like-minded people in complementary industries to help rally the audiences you have together to expand your reach (and potential sales). 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My dear friend and her boyfriend have been together for years. Everyone assumes they will get married, and she talks about it a lot. All of us are very close, and he and I often hang out when she can't. She is completely aware of that and gave him the "OK" a long time ago. Plus, I would never betray her trust. However, last weekend he got really drunk and told me that he wants to be with me. Things aren't working out with her, apparently, and he wants me.

I was totally shocked and didn't know what to do. Now I have no idea how to act around him because the whole thing has me feeling so uncomfortable. I'm worried he is going to say something to her or that he expects something from me. Plus she is my friend, and I am really sad for her that he is acting like this. Any advice? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: This is what we call an awkward situation on steroids. Give him the opportunity to be straight with his girlfriend first. Call him and say, "If you meant what you said the other night, you need to be honest with (let's call her Carla). If you don't want to be with her, tell her. It's not fair to either of you. But, regardless, she is my friend and that means we can't be together. If you don't tell her what happened, I will."

If he balks at this and acts as though he never said anything to you, you may have to decide whether you should carry out the threat of telling her. If I were in her shoes, I would want to know. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. But, if he agrees, let him have the opportunity to come clean. Carla may not be happy with either of you (even though you didn't do anything wrong), so you have to brace yourself for the possibility that you may lose your friend for a while. In time, she may be able to move forward and even be grateful that she let him go. But, remember this: She may learn this information and STILL not leave him and drop you instead. You have to decide whether this is a risk worth taking, and only you know your relationship well enough to know what to do. Good luck.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)