DEAR NATALIE: My dear friend and her boyfriend have been together for years. Everyone assumes they will get married, and she talks about it a lot. All of us are very close, and he and I often hang out when she can't. She is completely aware of that and gave him the "OK" a long time ago. Plus, I would never betray her trust. However, last weekend he got really drunk and told me that he wants to be with me. Things aren't working out with her, apparently, and he wants me.

I was totally shocked and didn't know what to do. Now I have no idea how to act around him because the whole thing has me feeling so uncomfortable. I'm worried he is going to say something to her or that he expects something from me. Plus she is my friend, and I am really sad for her that he is acting like this. Any advice? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: This is what we call an awkward situation on steroids. Give him the opportunity to be straight with his girlfriend first. Call him and say, "If you meant what you said the other night, you need to be honest with (let's call her Carla). If you don't want to be with her, tell her. It's not fair to either of you. But, regardless, she is my friend and that means we can't be together. If you don't tell her what happened, I will."

If he balks at this and acts as though he never said anything to you, you may have to decide whether you should carry out the threat of telling her. If I were in her shoes, I would want to know. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. But, if he agrees, let him have the opportunity to come clean. Carla may not be happy with either of you (even though you didn't do anything wrong), so you have to brace yourself for the possibility that you may lose your friend for a while. In time, she may be able to move forward and even be grateful that she let him go. But, remember this: She may learn this information and STILL not leave him and drop you instead. You have to decide whether this is a risk worth taking, and only you know your relationship well enough to know what to do. Good luck.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: The new guy I am dating is great except for one thing. He was addicted to heroin for a while but has been sober and clean for about a year now. We started dating about six weeks ago, and things are going really well. He wants to move in with me, but I worry sometimes that his issue with drugs could resurface. I told him I would give him an answer as to whether he could move in this week. 

Here's the other issue: I have a great job in an advertising company, and he recently quit his job. He wants to go back to school and get his MBA. While I fully support him, this seems impulsive and a lot to take on. I don't know if I'm ready for this next step. What are your thoughts? -- SECOND CHANCES

DEAR SECOND CHANCES: If you were my sister, I would tell you, "Hell, no. He is not moving in." Why so blunt? One year clean is a great achievement, but in the big scheme of things, his sobriety is still relatively new. It also sounds as though he may be taking some of his impulsive behaviors and transferring them into the relationship -- hence wanting to move in so quickly after meeting you. 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't date him, but take it slow. I see a picture emerging of him on your couch, debating on whether to get an MBA, and you being too uncomfortable to tell him to move out or get a job. Ugh. Not a great peek into the future. Instead, watch his actions, not his words, and see if he actually can stay clean, start school and keep it together. If he seems like the path he is on is firm under his feet in another year or so, then take steps to be together more seriously. And for your sake, look into a local Al-Anon chapter to help you deal with being in a relationship with someone living with addiction. It'll help you stay compassionate, grounded, self-aware and able to make decisions best for you both.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Arianna Huffington said it best: "Collaboration is the new competition." No one is an island in the new business landscape, and if you want to increase your visibility, collaborate with like-minded people in complementary industries to help rally the audiences you have together to expand your reach (and potential sales). 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have an urgent problem. Our 18-year-old daughter had applied and accepted a five-week position at a summer camp. However, one week before she was due to go, she decided she did not want to go because she would miss many graduation parties, she has a job that she likes, and she wants to take a college course this summer. I let her make the decision and made her call the camp and tell them she did not want to come. I even went so far as to tell her she needed to tell them if they could not find a replacement to call her back and she would go. Well, my husband has indicated that the camp is now short a worker and our daughter has an obligation and responsibility to go. Our daughter has not received a call from the camp program coordinator telling her they have not found a replacement. Of course, my husband has an excuse for that, too. What employer would call and beg you to come to work?  My husband believes I need to make our daughter go and make her fulfill her commitment. I feel I taught her another lesson on making her own decisions and following through to relay her decision to others. Finally, my husband said that we should have discussed this before a decision was reached. I still feel like it is her decision, and he needs to get over it. My concern is he will make her life miserable this summer if she doesn’t go. I hate to see that happen as she is heading off to college in the fall.

-- MISERABLE

DEAR MISERABLE: I’m inclined to agree with your husband on this one, assuming that they have not filled her position. Teaching responsibility means that sometimes when you make a commitment, you lose out on fun things, parties and time with friends. But, I also understand your position. You wanted her to make her own decision, and she did take steps needed to see if the summer camp could manage without her. But, now it seems to have snowballed into something bigger because your husband feels slighted that he wasn’t included in the discussion. Now he is trying to show his dominance by exerting his will on to both of you. I would have your daughter call the summer camp, herself, to ask if they have found anyone to replace her. If they have, then she can continue on with her summer as planned. But if they haven’t, she needs to honor her commitment and work at the summer camp. If your husband can’t agree to those very reasonable terms, then there is something deeper going on with him. He is going to have to learn to let go and allow her to make her own decisions. We often can only learn by falling on our faces, and sometimes parents can do more harm than good by not allowing their children to fail or learn from their own mistakes. Hopefully, he will recognize that soon he won’t be there to make decisions for her, and he had better start accepting her for who she is.  

DEAR NATALIE: Our group of lifelong friends enjoys getting together at local bars for pizza and beers. We all pitch in cash at the end of the evening with everyone being generous, but one friend throws out her American Express card, which isn’t accepted at the establishment.  Even at a local dive, which only accepts cash, she only brings plastic and one of us usually bails her out. We’re tired of rolling our eyes at this, and I want to tell her to carry cash when she is with us, but I don’t know how. She is generous in other ways, and I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. It’s funny, but we think it’s in her genes. Many years ago her father used to carry a $20 bill when he and his buddies went out for beers when they were 5 cents. The guys carried him because none of them had change for his $20, until they wised up and made sure they could exchange his $20 bill. Help! -- EYE ROLLING

DEAR EYE ROLLING: Can you use technology to help this issue? Meaning, put everyone on a group text the next time you are planning a night out and remind everyone that the place only accepts cash. Then, follow up with her on an individual text and say something like, “Hey, wasn’t sure if you got the group text or not, but we are reminding everyone to bring cash tonight because this place doesn’t accept AmEx or other credit cards. Can’t wait to see you there!” This way, the group text makes it seem like you are checking on everyone, and the follow-up private text is a harmless reminder to let her know in case she missed the group text. If that doesn’t work, you could go somewhere that does take American Express so that when she does join the group, there is a place where she can’t get out of paying. Hey, if she won’t go to the mountain, bring the mountain to her!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: There is no “one-size-fits-all” method to networking. Whether you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert, there are ways to network that can fit your style of engagement. Try different ideas out, don’t take rejection personally, and find what works best as you work to make meaningful connections!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)