DEAR NATALIE: I'm beginning to dread calls from a couple of my friends because I have to listen to their constant aches, pains and doctor visits. I have aches and pains, also, but I don't bombard my friends with my problems. I hate to hang up on them. Any suggestions? -- DON’T CRY TO ME, ARGENTINA

DEAR DON’T CRY TO ME, ARGENTINA: Some people are just downers. Complaining is their form of communicating, and it can be super annoying to the rest of us who choose to see the cup of life half full. If this were me, I probably would take their calls a little less often. Sometimes, when you see their name come up on your phone, it's OK not to answer if you aren't in the mood. Call them back when you feel more emotionally prepared. I used to tell my sister (back in the day when she was having a hard time in middle school) to spray imaginary "mean girl" repellent on before going to class so that the negativity would just bounce off her. Visualizations really do work! You may want to create your own ritual before chatting, such as a "Debbie-downer" repellent that you mist on yourself before entering into conversation. If that doesn't work, change the subject when things start to head toward Negative-ville, or call them out on it. Say something like, "Wow, I know you are having a rough day, but focusing on all the bad things will only make us both feel worse! Instead, why don't you tell me something nice that happened today, no matter how small it may seem?" Then watch their aches and pains of life quickly dissipate -- if only for a moment. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Heard any good gossip lately? Keep it to yourself! The more you talk negatively about people to others in your circle, the more likely people will look at you as untrustworthy, possibly pushing you out of inner circles. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I recently got married, and I realize I made a horrible mistake. I got so caught up in the wedding planning, (we had a HUGE, lavish wedding) and the fact that I desperately want a family sooner rather than later that I really didn't think things through. He is a good guy, and we had been dating for two years. So, it just seemed like the logical thing to do. I had cold feet the entire time we were engaged, but I ignored my instincts, thinking I was just being silly. But, now I feel trapped. I've been avoiding intimacy with him, and he knows something is up. What do I do? I don't want to stay married to him, but I'm so embarrassed. -- HONEYMOON’S OVER

DEAR HONEYMOON’S OVER: In this day and age, it seems as though more and more people are interested in planning a big party instead of planning a future with one another. When I hear the words "huge, lavish wedding," I immediately think of the fun it would be to plan a party with a professional planner, buy a fabulous couture gown, and throw my family and friends the party of the century. And, let's be honest. The wedding industry makes it pretty difficult to say "no" to the elaborate details. From flowers to cakes to what you are going to wear, planning a wedding has become a billion-dollar industry. 

But, because of that, we have begun to lose sight of what a wedding really means. A wedding is a gateway to the marriage, and throwing a huge bash doesn't necessarily mean the relationship will thrive afterward. It just means you will be eating Ramen noodles for the foreseeable future to pay off those credit cards. And, as in your case, there is that added pressure to start a family sooner rather than later. 

So, now what? 

Well, the first thing you need to do is tell your husband the truth. Explain to him that you had your reservations before the big day, but you were too afraid to even admit to yourself that maybe this wasn't the right thing to do. Let him know that you love and care for him, but it isn't fair to either of you to stay in an unhappy marriage. Then, see where things go. Perhaps he will want to try counseling. If you think there is a (slim) chance that counseling could help, you may want to give it a try. But, if you know in your heart of hearts that he isn't the one for you, you have to let him know. Enough damage has been done, and giving him any more false hope would just be cruel. 

Then, there is the matter of returning the wedding gifts. Because you just got married, you really should send people back their gifts or the money that they gave you. It is the respectful and responsible thing to do. You don't need to explain yourself, but keeping the gifts is tacky. 

It's time to do some soul searching. What is it that you are looking for? Luckily for you and your husband, you haven't had any children together, so at least you can make a clean break. But, if a family is what you truly want, you may want to be very selective in who you date from here on out. Take some time for yourself and be single for a while. Let the dust settle. Figure out why your husband -- the man you have been with for two years -- wasn't the right guy for you. 

This isn't going to be an easy process. There will be a lot of tears, a lot of frustration, a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of explaining to do. (Hey, your family is going to wonder what the heck happened, after all.) But, what's done is done. Now, you need to figure out how to pick up the pieces. You don't want to make the same mistake twice, so listen to your heart and take time to figure out what is best for yourself in the long run. It won't be an easy journey, but anything is better than living a lie. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't be afraid to reach out and ask someone to be a mentor. Even if it's coffee every six months, a one-time meeting or connecting every week, network with those who have been-there-done-that and want to give back. And remember, once you make it, help the next one in line.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend's dad hit on me last night at his parents' home. His dad cornered me in the kitchen and remarked at how sexy I looked and how if he was my boyfriend he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of me. It was incredibly out of line, and I felt so uncomfortable the rest of the evening. 

When we got back to my boyfriend's, he asked me what was wrong, and I just mumbled that I had a stomachache. Should I tell him what happened? Do you think he will be mad? Maybe I should keep it to myself, but what if it happens again? -- DAD DRAMA

DEAR DAD DRAMA: I'm sorry this happened. How inappropriate and rude. This actually reminds me of a situation I found myself in when I was 17. My boyfriend's dad made some really awful remarks about me in front of my then-boyfriend, who merely shrugged it off and said that's just how his dad was. It became a point of contention in our relationship and later contributed to our breakup. 

The bottom line is you don't need to put up with that disgusting behavior. In fact, not only tell your boyfriend that it happened, but also that you are not comfortable going over to his parents' home anymore unless his dad apologizes and keeps his distance. 

I know a lot of people may roll their eyes at this -- "Oh, get over it." "It's not a big deal." "She's just uptight." But none of that is true. You didn't deserve to be sexually harassed by your boyfriend's dad, and you have every right to feel uncomfortable and violated. If you keep it to yourself and it happens again, then what? Better to clear the air now, hold your ground and be ready to recognize that if your boyfriend doesn't take your side on this, it's only a red flag for what's to come. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: A business card is nice, but a business card with your photo on it? Priceless! Think of how many cards you throw away because you can't remember who the person was or why you connected. Putting your photo on the card reminds people of who you are and makes it more likely that you will stand out from the crowd. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)