DEAR NATALIE: I recently got married, and I realize I made a horrible mistake. I got so caught up in the wedding planning, (we had a HUGE, lavish wedding) and the fact that I desperately want a family sooner rather than later that I really didn't think things through. He is a good guy, and we had been dating for two years. So, it just seemed like the logical thing to do. I had cold feet the entire time we were engaged, but I ignored my instincts, thinking I was just being silly. But, now I feel trapped. I've been avoiding intimacy with him, and he knows something is up. What do I do? I don't want to stay married to him, but I'm so embarrassed. -- HONEYMOON’S OVER

DEAR HONEYMOON’S OVER: In this day and age, it seems as though more and more people are interested in planning a big party instead of planning a future with one another. When I hear the words "huge, lavish wedding," I immediately think of the fun it would be to plan a party with a professional planner, buy a fabulous couture gown, and throw my family and friends the party of the century. And, let's be honest. The wedding industry makes it pretty difficult to say "no" to the elaborate details. From flowers to cakes to what you are going to wear, planning a wedding has become a billion-dollar industry. 

But, because of that, we have begun to lose sight of what a wedding really means. A wedding is a gateway to the marriage, and throwing a huge bash doesn't necessarily mean the relationship will thrive afterward. It just means you will be eating Ramen noodles for the foreseeable future to pay off those credit cards. And, as in your case, there is that added pressure to start a family sooner rather than later. 

So, now what? 

Well, the first thing you need to do is tell your husband the truth. Explain to him that you had your reservations before the big day, but you were too afraid to even admit to yourself that maybe this wasn't the right thing to do. Let him know that you love and care for him, but it isn't fair to either of you to stay in an unhappy marriage. Then, see where things go. Perhaps he will want to try counseling. If you think there is a (slim) chance that counseling could help, you may want to give it a try. But, if you know in your heart of hearts that he isn't the one for you, you have to let him know. Enough damage has been done, and giving him any more false hope would just be cruel. 

Then, there is the matter of returning the wedding gifts. Because you just got married, you really should send people back their gifts or the money that they gave you. It is the respectful and responsible thing to do. You don't need to explain yourself, but keeping the gifts is tacky. 

It's time to do some soul searching. What is it that you are looking for? Luckily for you and your husband, you haven't had any children together, so at least you can make a clean break. But, if a family is what you truly want, you may want to be very selective in who you date from here on out. Take some time for yourself and be single for a while. Let the dust settle. Figure out why your husband -- the man you have been with for two years -- wasn't the right guy for you. 

This isn't going to be an easy process. There will be a lot of tears, a lot of frustration, a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of explaining to do. (Hey, your family is going to wonder what the heck happened, after all.) But, what's done is done. Now, you need to figure out how to pick up the pieces. You don't want to make the same mistake twice, so listen to your heart and take time to figure out what is best for yourself in the long run. It won't be an easy journey, but anything is better than living a lie. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't be afraid to reach out and ask someone to be a mentor. Even if it's coffee every six months, a one-time meeting or connecting every week, network with those who have been-there-done-that and want to give back. And remember, once you make it, help the next one in line.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend's dad hit on me last night at his parents' home. His dad cornered me in the kitchen and remarked at how sexy I looked and how if he was my boyfriend he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of me. It was incredibly out of line, and I felt so uncomfortable the rest of the evening. 

When we got back to my boyfriend's, he asked me what was wrong, and I just mumbled that I had a stomachache. Should I tell him what happened? Do you think he will be mad? Maybe I should keep it to myself, but what if it happens again? -- DAD DRAMA

DEAR DAD DRAMA: I'm sorry this happened. How inappropriate and rude. This actually reminds me of a situation I found myself in when I was 17. My boyfriend's dad made some really awful remarks about me in front of my then-boyfriend, who merely shrugged it off and said that's just how his dad was. It became a point of contention in our relationship and later contributed to our breakup. 

The bottom line is you don't need to put up with that disgusting behavior. In fact, not only tell your boyfriend that it happened, but also that you are not comfortable going over to his parents' home anymore unless his dad apologizes and keeps his distance. 

I know a lot of people may roll their eyes at this -- "Oh, get over it." "It's not a big deal." "She's just uptight." But none of that is true. You didn't deserve to be sexually harassed by your boyfriend's dad, and you have every right to feel uncomfortable and violated. If you keep it to yourself and it happens again, then what? Better to clear the air now, hold your ground and be ready to recognize that if your boyfriend doesn't take your side on this, it's only a red flag for what's to come. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: A business card is nice, but a business card with your photo on it? Priceless! Think of how many cards you throw away because you can't remember who the person was or why you connected. Putting your photo on the card reminds people of who you are and makes it more likely that you will stand out from the crowd. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend of four years and I just broke up last week. It was a rough breakup, but I was so unhappy I needed to get out of the relationship. Since then, he has been posting nasty messages about me all over Facebook and private messaging me that he has less-than-flattering photos of me that he wants to share. I am so angry with him for stooping so low, but I don't know what to do to stop him. We broke up because of his controlling behavior, and I'm scared to confront him. What should I do? -- FACEBOOK MADNESS

DEAR FACEBOOK MADNESS: This isn't just a bad breakup, this is full on harassment. While the rules are still sketchy about what is actually considered online harassment, I would start taking screenshots of everything that he is doing and contact the police to file a report. Most likely they won't do anything unless he physically harms you (how messed up is that?), but at least you can have something on record. Also, block him from all your social media platforms and contact Facebook to let it know that someone is harassing you. It is usually pretty good about blocking people and looking into accounts that qualify as cyberbullying, which this clearly does. In the meantime, lay off the social media yourself, get out and enjoy your life and be grateful that you didn't waste a moment more with this jerk. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Set the bar high -- but not too high -- when you are at a networking event. Managing expectations as to what you want to accomplish when you are out mingling will make you feel energized and excited to network and not feel as though you set yourself up to fail, which can inhibit your abilities to connect in the future. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)