DEAR NATALIE: I recently turned 31 years old and have been dating this guy for about a year and a half. I have hinted that I want to get married and start a family, but Christmas came and went (I thought he was going to propose then.) Then, Valentine's Day came and went, and then my birthday came and went. Still no ring. How can I get him to commit? My girlfriends told me that I should give him an ultimatum. What do you think? -- RING PLEASE

DEAR RING PLEASE: I'm not a big fan of ultimatums and here's why. Unless you are 100 percent going to follow through with the threat of leaving him if he doesn't put a ring on it by a certain time, he may call your bluff, see what you do, and then react accordingly. So, don't promise to leave unless you mean it. Otherwise, he knows he can basically do whatever he pleases and you won't stand up for yourself. 

On the other hand, I have to ask, why are you chasing someone who doesn't want to get married right now? Is he focused on his career? Well, maybe he wants to wait until he can give you the ring he thinks you deserve. Is he oblivious to your needs? Well, then he isn't hearing you, and that trait may never change. (Do you want to put up with that?) Is he purposely ignoring your requests because he doesn't want to marry you at all? 

You have to figure out what the motive is that keeps him from proposing. At the end of the day, you need to decide whether you want to be married or be with him (because they may not be the same thing). So, if marriage is your goal, find a guy who wants that life, too. If not, you will be banging your head against the wall and probably start resenting him.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: For a little over a month, I have been seeing a woman whom I find highly desirable and with whom I am quite enamored. She has confided a great deal in me in a short period of time, which I have let her know I appreciate. But one line of her candor was something I was not prepared to hear and did not want to hear: how she plans to end her life when she hits rock bottom, which she implies will be due to financial reasons. She seems to want to reassure me that this will not be "tomorrow" but "in 20 years" (when she will still be a relatively young woman). She even has a plan for how she will commit suicide, referencing the movie "Thelma and Louise," which ends with a car being driven into the Grand Canyon. 

I made it clear after the first time that this was upsetting to hear, yet she elected to tell me about it a second time. Why is she telling me this, I wonder. Is it simply to get a reaction out of me? What does one do with this information? I believe that if I suggested that she contact some type of crisis counselor, that she would pooh-pooh the idea and resent that I mentioned it. -- CONFUSED AND WORRIED

DEAR CONFUSED AND WORRIED: Discussing suicide is nothing to take lightly, but it sounds as though she is telling you this in a fantastical sort of way, almost as though it is a glamorous way to exit stage left, and not necessarily something she would actually try to do. 

The good thing is that she is discussing it with you. It means that while she is processing it as a viable option, the fact that she wants your opinion and insight leads me to think that she doesn't actually want to kill herself. When people want to do it, they do it. When people want someone to talk them out of it, they attempt it or discuss it, giving others the opportunity to step in. 

So step in. You are involved, unfortunately. I know you say that she would pooh-pooh the idea of a crisis center, but if someone is discussing suicide so openly and frankly with you, you have a moral obligation to let someone know. I would contact a local crisis center and say exactly what you have told me. 

Because she isn't threatening to harm herself immediately, counselors can't act on committing her, but they may be able to recommend outpatient therapy for her. Strongly encourage her to go. If she balks, she may just be engaging in attention-seeking behavior, which may have you looking for the exit soon enough. 

Give yourself boundaries. It's OK to say, "I really care about you, but unless you are going to therapy, I'd rather not discuss your plans for hurting yourself, no matter how far in the future it may be." Be careful, though. She may use this as a way to shut down, so be gentle in your approach. Unfortunately, there are a lot of sad, lonely people out there, and while they may be lovable and wonderful (even if they don't realize it), you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. 

NOTE: Anyone thinking about suicide should contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Actions speak louder than words. Follow-through is the key to being a good networker. If you say you are going to email, call, text or whatever, make sure you do it within 24 hours to show that you are serious about making positive connections with people you are interested in. They will take note of your professionalism. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I attend many Pirates games at PNC Park. I often find myself sitting in front of individuals who demonstrate no interest in the game, rather they have come to discuss and broadcast to those within many rows the details of their personal lives and their employment. I was once sitting in front of a thoughtless young woman who let us know that she uses an IUD! 

Can people be completely oblivious to how their voices carry? I would love to say to these folks, "Would you not be better off at a bar or a restaurant rather than attending a baseball game that is of no consequence to you? Why did you pay a significant amount of money to sit here and bother the rest of us when you obviously have no interest in the game?" 

Why do you think people act like this? -- SICK AND TIRED OF BAD MANNERS

DEAR SICK AND TIRED OF BAD MANNERS: It's funny, because back in the day, all your private thoughts went into a diary, and if anyone read them, you would be really upset. Nowadays, if you don't post every intimate detail of your life on your Facebook page for everyone to read (and if people don't "like" it) you get really upset. Perhaps blame it on social media, but people seem to have no problem airing their dirty laundry (or any laundry) in public. Many people are in their own little world, and if you happen to hear things, oh well. 

I know it is annoying to you, but try not to let it get under your skin. Maybe she didn't want to be at the game but was invited by colleagues or her partner and felt obligated to go. Instead, use it as an opportunity to Zen out. Train your brain to tune out annoying or uninteresting conversations. You are there for the game, so be there for the game. Don't get caught up in these petty conversations about things that don't interest you. Focus on why you came and enjoy the moment. 

We can't change how other people act. We can only change our reaction to them. Ohhhmmmmmm. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: With so many people competing for so few jobs, it is important to have cover letters and resumes handy in case you meet someone while networking. Have a copy saved to your phone, and if you are looking for work, you can forward it immediately to the person who may be of help to you. It shows you are focused and ready to roll. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)