DEAR NATALIE: Why is it that when I’m with my friend, I can’t get a word in? When I do, which isn’t often, she interrupts and then proceeds to hog the conversation? All she does is complain about her job. I am so sick of hearing about what happened at work! I have noticed that she only behaves this way when it is just the two of us. I have been with her and my husband and her sisters and she is pretty quiet. I guess what I have to say doesn’t interest her. How do I deal with this? -- COMPLAINING ABOUT COMPLAINER

DEAR COMPLAINING ABOUT COMPLAINER: You can look at this from a different perspective. Clearly, she finds you to be a good listener, someone she can confide in, and someone she feels comfortable being herself around. Maybe she is shy or intimidated by other people, but around you, she feels more open and free. You must be a great confidante. However, the problem with being a great listener is that sometimes your own stories can be drowned out. The next time the two of you are alone, I would just tell her how you are feeling. Tell her that you really appreciate the fact that she feels so comfortable to share her thoughts with you, but that sometimes you feel as though the conversation is lopsided and you want to contribute more. You deserve to be heard and she needs to respect that. If she can’t, what exactly is your friendship based on other than you being a doormat?

DEAR NATALIE: My friend and I have known each other for years. Recently, however, she came into some family money and now that is all she talks about. She has become really self-involved and I would say that almost all of our conversations over the past year have been about her and her new handbags. She doesn’t even really ask me much about my life and I find it really hurtful. I want to say something, but I’m afraid she will just say that I am jealous of her. Which, by the way, I am not. I am happy for her good fortune, but can’t we talk about something else for once? — MAD ABOUT MONEY

DEAR MAD ABOUT MONEY: This is a tricky one because you are right. Your annoyance will come off as jealousy even if that’s not really the case. You can play this one of two ways. Either ignore it, accept she has changed and realize you may just not be on the same page anymore. Maybe your relationship will drift for a while if you take a step back, but maybe that’s what has to happen. Option two: Confront her lovingly about this and tell her that this is not a good look. If I was behaving badly, I would hope a few of my close friends would step up and say something. A real friend let’s you know when you have food in your teeth, is a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with and calls you out on your nonsense when needed. In this instance, be a friend and tell her to settle down. While it’s super great that she has money, that’s not why you are friends. Maybe she needs a reminder. Money comes and goes but real friends stick by you.  If she won’t accept your *gentle!* comments, maybe she should just talk to her new handbags, instead. I’m sure the conversation will be scintillating.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: If something isn’t a fit for you, pass it along to someone that it may be helpful for. We have to support each other, uplift one another and think outside ourselves. If we do this, many more of us could be successful in many ways!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My husband has four sisters, and he's very close to all of them except for one. Over the years, she's been verbally abusive to her siblings, neglected her father when he was battling cancer and only comes around when she needs a handout. She hasn't spoken to me or my children in about a decade and keeps her kids away from us. So I was dumbfounded the other day when we received in the mail an invitation to her son's high school graduation, along with a handwritten card from her husband expressing how great it would be to see us there. My in-laws all received them, too. 

My initial reaction was to tear it up! (That's what my in-laws did.) But I feel sorry for the young man who probably won't have any relatives at his graduation besides his parents. He shouldn't have to pay for his mother's mistakes. But I'm nervous that if we did attend his mother would cause a scene (which she has been known to do). Instead, I thought about sending a card with a gift of money, but even that could stir trouble. (Once when my sister-in-law gave him some money to help fund a school trip his mother insulted her for not giving more.) 

My husband and I are feeling very torn. What do you think we should do? -- CONFLICTED SISTER-IN-LAW

DEAR CONFLICTED SISTER-IN-LAW: My initial gut reaction says, "Buh-bye! Have a nice life!" and rip that note up. But, upon reflecting on that visceral response, I realized something. People who are angry and cruel are the people we need to open our hearts up to and love the most. It may sound counter-intuitive, but think about it. You have to be the light for her to look to and for her son (your nephew) to see. 

Even though she sounds like a horrible person, imagine how hard and awful it must be to wake up as her every day, to be filled with so much unhappiness. Pity her, don't be like her. Instead, be the bigger person in this situation by ignoring her nasty, petty comments and support your nephew. 

Her husband is reaching out, so accept the olive branch. The best thing you can do is to show your nephew that he has other examples to follow in life, and he doesn't need to be like her. If she creates a scene, simply tell her that you won't speak to her if she talks that way and walk away, continuing conversation with others. If you choose not to go, definitely send a card along with a tangible gift and not money. Maybe something that you know he will need for college or his post-high school plans. Don't give this woman what she wants, but instead rise above and give her what she needs. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: They say you never remember the first 10 seconds of a conversation (when you usually hear someone's name for the first time), so make sure you repeat their name at least two times during the conversation to help solidify it in your memory. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My brother-in-law loves to give "gag" gifts for birthdays. He thinks it's funny to buy us whoopee cushions and inappropriately shaped pasta noodles. My sister just ignores her husband, but I told her that I'm not buying him gifts anymore because I'm sick of spending time and money to put into thoughtful birthday and holiday gifts for him while I get a $5 joke for a present. This offended her, and she said that he is just trying to be funny. Well, it's annoying and rude. Plus I have all these gifts (this has been going on for YEARS) that are just collecting dust in a corner of my closet that I will never use and am too embarrassed to give away. 

His birthday is coming up next month, and I am tempted to not give him anything. What do you think I should do? He's a nice enough guy, but I'm really annoyed with him and my sister's attitude. -- GAG ME

DEAR GAG ME: I say give him a taste of his own medicine. You have all those "gifts" he gave you in a pile. Why not wrap them back up (or stick them in a big gift bag) and see how "funny" he thinks it is. Sounds a little vindictive, I know, but sometimes people need a taste of what it feels like to be on the receiving end of something that they dish out. 

I would still get him a small "real" gift, such as a gift card, as an olive branch for later if he becomes upset, but maybe if he sees firsthand how ridiculous he has been, he will get the picture and back off the gag gifts in the future. Or, he may think it is the funniest thing ever, in which case, there's no helping you. (Or him, for that matter!) 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)