DEAR NATALIE: Our street has a ladies dinner group that meets every other month. I always give everyone two weeks notice to ramp up and a deadline date so I can get a reservation when necessary. Last week was the deadline for our next gathering. I reminded everyone the day before and even extended it two days to accommodate everyone's situations with school ending, vacations and visiting family. I told everyone when the reservation would be made and again afterward so those who didn't answer knew they missed the deadline. 

So about an hour after saying the RSVP was closed, I let everyone know who wanted to go but didn't RSVP on time that she would be wait-listed, my next-door neighbor responded "yes." I messaged, saying the reservation was made and she was wait-listed. 

She responded with, "Can't you just add one more?" I replied the restaurant is small, and it already can't seat all of us together as it is. Over the next few hours I had three more people RSVP "yes." I also told them they missed the deadline, but if anyone cancels I would let them know. They all said that it wasn't a problem. 

The next day, I received a message from my next-door neighbor saying she went to the restaurant to see if it could add one more to my reservation. In the meantime, I had already reserved another table to accommodate all of them because I am the hostess. But I feel offended that this woman went above and beyond just to get herself a seat at the table. Was just wondering what the correct and proper etiquette would be in this situation. -- OFFENDED HOSTESS

DEAR OFFENDED HOSTESS: This is one of those little annoyances in life that manage to get under our skin in the moment, but when you take a step back you realize this is not worth getting your blood pressure up. Your neighbor did overstep her bounds (as you were clearly the one organizing the event), but it sounds as though there was a communication breakdown on your end, too. While you told her that she would be wait-listed, you actually went and reserved another table, which was great! But she didn't know, and so she took matters into her own hands because she wanted to be with everyone. 

If I were you, I would just let it go, have a really good glass (or two) of wine at your dinner party, and next time, make it clear that when you say "wait-listed" what you really mean is, "I will try my best to get you a table or a seat at our table and will let you know if and when that happens." When sending out your invites next time, include in the email that there are only 20 seats (or whatever number) available, and the first 20 people who RSVP "yes" will be included. No waitlist. Then they are on their own if they want to try and call and reserve a table on the same night. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I am the executive director of a well-known nonprofit here in the city. I have a personal Facebook page but don't do much with it because I am afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and having it reflect poorly on my organization. I don't want to make my page "private," because I make a lot of good connections for the nonprofit through Facebook. However, I find myself avoiding it altogether because I don't want to say something that could be hurtful to my brand. Any suggestions for how to navigate the tricky waters of social media? (I find I have the same hang-up about Twitter, as well). -- AFRAID TO SPEAK

DEAR AFRAID TO SPEAK: This is a dilemma that plagues a lot of people in a similar position. Keep your personal page as "work focused" as possible. Meaning, if you wouldn't talk about it at the office to acquaintances, you probably shouldn't be posting it on social media. For example, people don't need to know your political thoughts (this will be divisive) or how you REALLY feel about whatever hot-button issue is making the rounds on CNN or every gory detail from your last doctor's visit. Keep your posts light and positive. Be uplifting and create a sense of community. This will work well for your brand as well as create positive energy around you. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't have any business cards? Make sure you get other people's and follow up with them within 24 hours to remind them who you and what you are doing, so that if there is a positive connection, you expand on it before they lose interest. 

DEAR NATALIE: I love my boyfriend but I have one major complaint. He is constantly checking out other women when we are out together. He even whistles under his breath from time to time when he sees a particularly good looking woman. Look, I know men are visual creatures, but I am starting to get a complex! I am an attractive woman. Aren’t I enough? I want to ask him to stop but I’m afraid he’ll think I’m being insecure and jealous. Any suggestions?

--FEELING INADEQUATE

DEAR FEELING INADEQUATE: Dump him. Too harsh? I don’t think so. Clearly this man does not respect you. It’s one thing to glance on occasion when you see someone attractive. It is a whole other thing to ogle or whistle at women, especially when your significant other is right there to witness it! On its own, that is sexist and rude. But in front of you? It’s just disgusting behavior. The fact that you are nervous about telling him how you feel makes me think that in the past, whenever you have expressed your feelings, he has dismissed or belittled you. So, instead of asking why he is acting the way he is, why not ask yourself why you are willing to put up with it. He doesn’t deserve you and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Walk away. He’s still a child and you don’t have time to babysit.

DEAR NATALIE: I’ve been widowed for three years. My wife and I were both in a terrible car accident but she didn’t survive it and I did. We were in our late twenties when it happened.  I’m now in my 30s and still very single. I haven’t been able to date. It has been a very difficult time in my life and I don’t know how to move forward. But I recently met this woman and we really connected. She invited me out this weekend, but I called it off. I didn’t give a reason and she doesn’t know about my wife. I feel bad because I think I upset her. My friends and family tell me it’s time to move on. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions? --STILL GRIEVING

DEAR STILL GRIEVING: My heart goes out to you and to her family. I am so sorry for your loss. I can completely understand why you haven’t wanted to date after something so horrific and tragic. Have you been to a counselor in the past about your experience? You may have some level of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that you may not fully be aware of. There may be layers of guilt and shame attached to dating because you survived the same accident that your late wife did not. No one should tell you when you are “ready” to date. The grieving process is a difficult one to navigate, and when you complicate it with the experience that you had, needless to say it is a lot to handle. I would find a counselor that specializes in grief work, and I would consider joining a support group for widows and widowers. You may find that sharing your experience with others who have lost their spouse to be healing. As for your new friend, I would be honest with her. She may be feeling badly about the fact that you canceled, and she deserves to understand why. You don’t have to get into all the details, but share what you are comfortable sharing. Explain to her that you like her and that scares you because you are still grieving the loss of your wife. Perhaps she will be willing to take things really slowly and just start as friends. See where things go. Give yourself permission to laugh again, to experience life again, to even love again someday. No one will ever replace your wife, but I doubt that she would want you to live a life of loneliness, either. Good luck to you and I hope that you find some sense of peace.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Work on your pitch. What makes you stand out from the crowd? What makes your work special? Find your niche and hone your message to share with others when networking.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)