DEAR NATALIE: Can we please talk about work-life balance? I am in my late 40s, and my parents are older and not in great health. I have been spending more time lately caring for them, and I feel as though my clients at work don't understand (I'm a social worker). They often text me or email me at all hours. I'm not sure how to handle trying to balance my busy work schedule with taking care of mom and dad. I'm an only child so it compounds the pressure. Any suggestions? -- BURNED OUT

DEAR BURNED OUT: One of the healthiest things you can do, especially as a social worker, is to create a safe space around yourself. That means that YOU have to set the limitations of how and when clients can reach you. First, get a cellphone that is just for work if you don't have one already. Your clients do not need to have a personal cellphone number. This will create some space emotionally. Second, let them know that after 7 p.m. (or whatever time works for the type of work that you do) the phone shuts off. If they need assistance or if it's an emergency, they can call another number that you provide or 911. Third, put the phone out of sight at that time to reduce your chance for engaging with it. Put it in your bedroom or in your briefcase or wherever else you won't be tempted to look at it. This goes for checking work email as well. Do not link your work email to your personal phone. 

People will tug at you from all directions until you say "no." At first, you may frustrate some people and annoy others, but guess what? Over time, they will adapt. As for your parents, while I applaud you for stepping up to the plate, make sure you set aside some time each day for yourself -- whether that means 30 minutes to meditate or one hour to take a walk or watch an episode of "Game of Thrones." You deserve time to reflect, relax and renew so you can help your family in a more productive way. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be good for anyone else. 

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

DEAR NATALIE: Major problem. My mother is out of control. I started dating this guy recently. We’ve been together about six months and things are going pretty well. At least they were. Until my mother got involved. I took her out to dinner with my boyfriend and I the other night since she hadn’t met him yet. She waited until I went to the restroom and then told him that I was too good for him and that she wasn’t okay with his less-than-ambitious lifestyle. He told me about this later and I was mortified. I called her and flipped out, and now we aren’t speaking. She said she just wants what is best for me but this was over the line. Now things are rocky between my boyfriend and me because he thinks I put my mom up to this. It’s a mess. Any suggestions on how to fix it? --SMOTHERED

DEAR SMOTHERED: First of all, I would be really irritated about what just happened. Sounds like you need major damage control. Your mother totally overstepped her boundaries. Let things cool down for a few more days before you contact her. When you do reach out, remain calm. Remember that she is your mother and in her own twisted way, she thought she was doing the right thing. Go into the conversation recognizing that there was no maliciousness to her actions. (Or at least I hope not!) Make it very clear that what she did was damaging to not only your relationship with your boyfriend, but your relationship with her, as well. I would say something like this: “Mom, I know you meant well, but you really crossed the line. It was not okay to blindside me like that by criticizing my boyfriend as soon as I left the room for one minute. Now he and I are having problems because of your meddling. I love you, but if you continue to insert yourself into my personal relationships, I will have no choice but to put distance between us.” She really should have shared her thoughts with you about him first before attacking him in public. I’m not sure what she thought would come from doing that other than causing issues with you and her, but she really made a mess. I feel as though she should apologize to your boyfriend, as well. As for your boyfriend, I would just apologize and state that you had absolutely nothing to do with your mother’s comments. Explain to him that she just wants what she thinks is best, but doesn’t always consider other people’s feelings. Hopefully, in time, he can let go and everyone can start again. Remember, it’s your life and you choose what kind of partner you want. As long as they treat you with respect and love, as long as they are trustworthy and thoughtful, and as long as they bring out the best in you and vice versa, that’s all that really matters.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

DEAR NATALIE: My wife is a cancer survivor and during her illness I tried to step in as best I could as caregiver, not just husband. Now that she is cancer-free, I am having a hard time letting go of that role and I can tell it’s annoying her. I don’t know how to transition back to being just her husband. It’s causing a strain on our marriage and our love life. I am so grateful to her have healthy again, but I just am not sure what my place is now that we are trying have a “normal” life together. Any thoughts? --HELPLESS HUSBAND

DEAR HELPLESS HUSBAND: According to aarp.org, the divorce rate for couples in which one spouse has a serious chronic illness is as high as 75 percent. So how can you find your way back to one another and transition back to the way things were? The short answer is, you can’t. Not back to the way they were, because things are never going to be the same. You both just survived a war. Your wife is a warrior and you were her knight, who vowed to protect her. But now that she is feeling stronger and healthier, what is your new role? I would start with dating each other again. Try injecting some playfulness and romance back into your relationship. A little getaway, a staycation for just the two of you, or just a romantic walk in the park to kick things off. Remind her that you find her attractive regardless of anything that may feel or be physically different about her. After a serious illness, her sense of identity may be in question and she may be trying to reconnect with herself, as well. This may take time. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a social worker, as well, about support groups for couples who experience chronic illness. I can feel the love from your letter. I know you want things to improve and I believe that you will put in the work. She just overcame a life-changing, but also life-affirming, event. Revel in her health and start exploring your world together again, one step at a time. Honor this chapter of your life by acknowledging the strength it took to be right here together. Mark this moment with something tangible. Plant a tree together as a symbol of a new beginning. The future looks bright so embrace it and each other.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: It’s all about the action steps. Networking is great, but what does it all add up to if you don’t follow through? If someone sparks a connection with you, make sure to follow up with them. Remember, it’s about quality connections and so if you find one, make sure you expand on it and watch it bloom!

DEAR NATALIE: I'm about to get married, and my family is at each other's throats over the guest list. I wanted a small wedding, around 100 people. My fiance's parents -- who are paying for the bulk of the wedding -- wanted a bigger crowd, about 300. We both come from large families (I'm Italian, he's Greek), but I wanted to keep it small to keep down costs and because I'm not close to many people in my extended family. So, I explained this to my soon-to-be mother-in-law, and now she's angry. 

The wedding is only six months away, and invitations should have been sent by now. I'm a ball of stress and not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions? -- BRIDAL BLOWUP

DEAR BRIDAL BLOWUP: Elope! Run, grab a ladder (and your groom) and head for the hills! No? Can't do? OK, how about plan B: compromise. Swallow your pride, call your mother-in-law and say to her that there has to be some sort of middle ground where you both can feel comfortable. 

Unfortunately, because she is paying for the bulk of this, she probably feels insulted and assumes she can invite whomever she wants to the wedding. Not a good look, but true to a certain extent. Would you be comfortable with about 150-200 guests? 

You may just have to look at the bigger picture. You are going to be in her life for a long time, and if you want harmony, start now. It's frustrating, but let's be real -- Weddings are hardly ever about the two people getting married. They often are about all the family around them. The sooner you recognize that this is just a day, the easier it can be to put in perspective and move forward. As long as she is willing to pay for the other guests, the bigger budget for food, drink, linens, rentals, party favors, etc., then why fight so hard? If you really want a small wedding, find a way to pay for it yourself. Otherwise, jump on the bandwagon and try to make it as fun as you can. 

And order the good champagne! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Want to meet new people in the city without having to spend any money? Share your time and join a volunteer organization that focuses on something you believe in. It's a great way to network while building self-esteem and doing something good for your community. 

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)