DEAR NATALIE: I have started dating someone new and I really like him. We have a lot in common and I really feel like he could be “the one.” There is just one catch. He owns a ton of guns. I am completely anti-gun and want nothing to do with them. I respect the fact that he grew up hunting with his family, and after he came out to them, I know this was the only thing that he and his dad still had in common. Okay, a couple of rifles I could maybe deal with. But, this is a lot more than that. He says he just likes collecting them and doesn’t see anything wrong with it. I find it disturbing to say the least. I really want to continue seeing him but I cannot bring myself to talk to him about my concerns. I am worried he will dump me. What should I do? --GUN SHY

DEAR GUN SHY: Without getting into a big debate about guns, let’s peek behind the curtain, instead. It sounds as though his sense of masculinity and how he identifies himself is wrapped up in owning these guns. His connection to his father is clearly important to him. After coming out, maybe he felt as though his father would think less of him as a “man”, so he overcompensated. I’m not saying that his father did feel that way, but it seems as though he might have been scared of that prospect. Our limited collective views on masculinity are tied to an individual’s own perception of how they views themselves. And when you think about it, our first images of what “a man should be” are often tied to our own fathers or father-figures in our communities, so seeing his dad hunting and being a part of that world would be integral to his own sense of masculinity.  I am really dissecting your letter, but there are a lot of reasons that people own guns, and some of those reasons he may not even be conscious about. So my question for you is: Why do you dislike guns so much? Start to think about that and how your judgment is perhaps clouding your ability to connect with him on this. You absolutely have to tell him your feelings about guns, and how he reacts to that will ultimately tell you whether you can move forward. If he seems understanding and open to your perspective, there’s a good chance you will be able to come to a place of peace on this subject. If, however, he becomes agitated or dismissive, you may want to reconsider jumping into a relationship. Respect is key, and if he can’t at least respect your views, and vice versa, the way forward may be quite a challenge for you both.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Not finding the right networking groups? Start your own. Social media makes it easier than ever to connect with like-minded individuals. Start a Facebook group and then encourage a meet-up around the various topics of interest.

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend just received an incredible offer to work in London. It would be a big profile job and the pay would be amazing. But, in order to do that, I have to give up my life here in the city and my good job, too. My boyfriend keeps telling me to take the leap with him and move to London together, but he has been resistant to proposing. I told him I won’t move unless he makes a real commitment to me. He says it’s not the right time, but when is it? We’ve been together three years. I don’t want to waste my time. What should I do? --WHAT’S NEXT

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT: Call his bluff. If he really wants you to uproot your whole life for him, and you are willing to do it if he makes a bigger commitment to you, stand by your word. I am not one for ultimatums, but sometimes I think that they are necessary. It is okay if he doesn’t want to propose, but it is also okay if you can’t move forward without one. Be clear about that. Say to him that you love him and you are proud of him, but he needs to know where you stand. If he says he won’t propose or feel pressured to do so, then walk away. You shouldn’t have to chase someone to be with you. Call me old-fashioned, but I truly believe when you love someone, you will move mountains to be with them. If you aren’t a priority now, then when?

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: Recently I started dating a man from India. I am not Indian. I am white, and we really have hit it off. He is wonderful, generous and kind, but we've only gone out a few times, and he is moving really fast. He is showering me with gifts and promises that are starting to make me uncomfortable.

How do I tell him that he is being too aggressive and that he needs to slow down? Is this a cultural thing that I am not getting? I don't want to come off as distant or ungrateful, but the amount of attention he shows me (texting me all through the day, flowers during the work week, surprises, etc.) are starting to raise eyebrows from colleagues and family.

Is he coming on too strong or am I just cold? -- AMERICAN GIRL

DEAR AMERICAN GIRL: While I don't think it is wise to make sweeping generalizations about one culture based on isolated experiences, there could be a cultural component as to why you are feeling out of sorts. But most likely it is your preconceived impressions of his culture that are clouding your judgment and experience here.

I have dated men of different backgrounds, and some were affectionate, others not so much. Some smother, some you can't even get to text you back, and if you are lucky, you end up finding that one gem that you just vibe with. It has little to do with culture and mostly to do with individuals and their personal journeys. Let go of your fears of saying or doing or reacting in the "appropriate" way, and focus instead on how it makes you feel when he showers you with attention and gifts.

If you are truly uncomfortable, just tell him. Say gently, "I am so flattered by the thoughtful gifts and gestures. I am just feeling a little overwhelmed by all of it and was hoping we could take a step back and get to know each other a bit better before making promises or giving each other gifts." He may not have realized it was upsetting you, or maybe he thought that you are supposed to behave like that when starting a new relationship.

As far as it raising eyebrows of colleagues and family, dare I say that they may be a little jealous? Wouldn't it be nice to get flowers and gifts? People like to be cynical and even cruel to satisfy their own feelings of insecurity and disappointment in life, so don't let them dictate to you how and what you should feel. Remember, you are in these relationships, not them.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't be afraid to speak up if you are interested in getting to know someone or would like a contact of yours to refer you to someone that you've been wanting to connect with. The whole point of networking is building relationships and finding the ones that create reciprocity that helps both parties reach their goals.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I'm 65 and have a lot of living in my rearview mirror, but I still want to share the journey ahead. I lost my life partner awhile back, but in her amazing love and understanding nature, she made me promise not to go it alone.

Here is the rub: How do I find someone to share the journey ahead, like I promised, and not make poor choices in how to find that person? I was blessed by good friends who set me up with my bride, but that doesn't seem likely to be my path forward.

I have multiple cultural tickets that I would love to share with someone, and so what would you suggest? -- MOVING FORWARD

DEAR MOVING FORWARD: Life transitions can be quite a challenge, and you have handled the passing of your beloved with grace, love and a touch of humor. I applaud you for wanting to continue the journey and recognize that moving forward doesn't mean you forget or negate the past.

Having said that, it can be quite a challenge to date in the modern landscape, but here are a few recommendations. First, try a matchmaking service (but a low-key one!). You sign up for the service that tailors a group to match your interests and personality. You meet other people who are all there for the same reason, and who knows what can happen?

Another option is to join a few organizations or volunteer groups. This is a great way to meet people with similar interests, and it also shows that they think about people outside of themselves, which is a wonderful quality to have in any partner.

Third could be online dating. There are sites out there for the 50-plus crowd. But then again, with your positive energy and openness, you may end up reaching for the same bag of apples in the grocery store and end up falling in love the old fashioned way ... just by a random moment in time!

Stay upbeat, get out and socialize!

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212