DEAR NATALIE: I have a dilemma. I have been casually dating a few different guys but just started seeing someone I really like (let's call him Paul). We have only gone on one date, but it went so well I am convinced that it could be the real deal. Normally, I would not feel guilty about going out with other guys at this point (we've only gone out once, after all), but already I feel bad about seeing anyone else besides him. Paul is taking me out again this weekend (somewhere fancy, he said), but I have a date with a different guy the night before we are going out. Should I cancel my date with this other guy and focus my energy on Paul? We click so well I'm not sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated. -- LOOKING FOR A LOVE MATCH

DEAR LOOKING FOR A LOVE MATCH: Do not cancel your date unless you really want to. I know it can be tempting when you first meet someone and he sweeps you off your feet to let your heart run away with you, but the truth is you don't know this person very well yet. Anyone can make a first impression that charms you, but see what he's like on the second, third and fourth date. Get to know him in different settings, different places, in different ways. Let him cook you dinner, let him open the car door for you, give him the opportunities to prove that he is as genuinely awesome as he appears to be. I'm not cynical, just guarded.

There is nothing wrong with falling for someone quickly, but take a moment to let it sink in first before you leap off the love cliff, so to speak. (And remember, until you talk about monogamy, there is nothing to feel guilty about. No one owns your time or space, and if you want to be with other people and you are open and honest about that, it's your choice who you spend time with.) And who knows? Maybe you and Paul will fall in love and live happily ever after together, but get through your second date with open eyes first.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Body language can be the key to winning while networking. Your arms speak volumes, so don't keep them crossed in front of your body. That shows you are closed off and not approachable. Keep your body open to others and make eye contact to show you want to connect.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My close friend recently gave birth to a stillborn baby girl. I have no idea how to handle this situation. She was dating a married man (he was separated from his wife) when she became pregnant, and now she is blaming herself and saying that losing her daughter is a punishment. She broke up with him after the birth, and she has been heartbroken. I'm not sure how to help her. It seems like no matter what I say, it's not the right thing. So I've been keeping my distance. I feel terrible. I want to help. What should I do? -- TRAGIC SITUATION

DEAR TRAGIC SITUATION: This is a true tragedy. It is not lost on her the poetic nature of losing her daughter and the potential of her life and how that intertwines with her now ex-boyfriend. I can't begin to imagine what she is going through, but in these moments, friends don't need to say anything. They just need to be there. Be there to cry with her. Be there to work through her emotions. Be there just to sit in silence and wait for time to heal.

If I were you, I would be scared, too, that I would say or do the wrong thing. But your absence speaks much louder than any words. Go to her. Bring her food, tea and white roses. Take her to plant a tree in a park in her daughter's honor. Just hold her hand. We often underestimate how just the physical presence of friendship can help heal deep wounds like this. You can't tell her what to feel or pass judgment on her experience. You just need to walk with her as she processes her loss, and in time you can remind her that the future holds promise and new possibilities to find peace and even happiness.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My wedding was last month and I have to say I feel seriously down now that it is over. I really miss all of the excitement. I know this sounds so bad, but I really miss the attention, too. My life really isn’t all that exciting and the wedding gave me something to look forward to. I’m in a bit of a slump. My husband keeps telling me to get over it and that we need to move on, but I’m having a hard time. He’s ready to start house hunting and planning for kids, but I just feel so sad that my wedding is over. Can you help me out of this funk? I know I sound ridiculous, but I still feel sad. --WEDDING BLUES

DEAR WEDDING BLUES: I have read that the most challenging year of marriage for many is the first year. The wedding excitement is over. The attention has moved on to the next engaged couple. The newly married couple are left to settle in. The settling part can definitely feel like a come down from all of that party planning and dress shopping and general giddiness that surrounds such a happy time. It is natural to feel a bit let down once it is all over. Part of that is society’s fault for creating such a ridiculous amount of energy around this one day. But, now that the wedding is over, it is a great time to think about what it is you want from your new life together. Take this energy lull and make it work for you. It is okay to feel depressed. It is okay to feel sad. It was a special moment in your life and now that it’s over, you may be wondering, “Is that all?” But, fear not. The adventure is really just beginning, a new page is being turned and that blank space is yours to fill however you choose. It seems as though your husband has already moved into this headspace and is looking forward to house hunting and family planning. It’s okay not to be there, but also allow yourself the mental freedom to start thinking about what you want the next phase to look like. What kind of home do you want to create together? What does that look like? Setting goals for yourself over the next six months to a year can begin to take you out of the past and bring you into the future. If your life doesn’t feel as exciting as you would like, what are some things you can interject into your world to uplift you? Perhaps you can learn another language, take cooking classes, focus on volunteer work or engage your friends more often and in meaningful ways. It only takes a few small shifts in our mind to make things line up in the physical world. But until then, just sit with your feelings. Allow yourself time to grieve the end of one chapter, but then give yourself permission to celebrate all of the amazing people that you have in your life, like your new husband!

DEAR NATALIE: We’ve been trying for a baby now for several months and nothing has happened yet. My family is being supportive but they just can’t seem to keep to themselves. Everyone keeps giving me advice on why I’m not pregnant yet and what I can fix to get pregnant. I’m so frustrated and embarrassed. I feel like I never should have mentioned that we were trying to have a baby. My husband says to just shrug it off, but it’s a direct attack on me, not him. What should I say to my well-meaning relatives who are continually hurting my feelings? --LEAVE ME ALONE

DEAR LEAVE ME ALONE: Well-meaning people are the worst. It always makes me think of this: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” That quote from the twelfth century leads me to believe that humans have been well meaning and unintentionally hurtful since the beginning of time. Women’s bodies are always up for public debate and discussion, so it doesn’t surprise me at all that people feel as though they have the right to tell you exactly what you are doing wrong with your own body. Being in a vulnerable emotional state, it can be hard to stand up for yourself. And why should you have to? It’s nobody’s business when and how and if you are pregnant. You are allowed to be direct about how you feel. You can even keep it light by saying, “I’d rather not talk about it right now. I don’t want to jinx anything!” If someone pries further, you can try this: “I want to remain as relaxed as possible about it and talking about it causes unnecessary stress for me.” Your husband can also feel free to stand up for you at the next family gathering and reiterate that your body is not up for discussion. Creating a family takes time for some and there is no wrong way to have a family. Whether you become pregnant, use a surrogate, or adopt, a family grows in your heart, not just under it. Do not allow yourself to be limited by other people’s narrow-mindedness around the topic. There are lots of support groups out there if you find yourself needing to talk about it freely with other families going these issues. At the end of the day, get the support you need and allow yourself to create healthy boundaries with your well-meaning family.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Celebrate the people in your life. When someone gets promoted, when they get a new job, when they buy their first home or when they adopt that puppy from the shelter, celebrate them. We don’t have to wait for the traditional moments in life to tell people that they are worthy of love and support. Celebrate the big and small things. It will improve your relationships, too!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)