DEAR NATALIE: My friend, Amanda, and I both have a mutual friend, Jennifer. Jennifer is an intense person and you either like her or you don’t. Amanda and Jennifer were really good friends for a long time, but they recently had a falling out. Now Amanda is telling me that if I still hang out with Jennifer, we can’t be friends anymore. This doesn’t seem fair to me, as I get along with both of them. I told Jennifer what Amanda said, and now they are fighting again. Amanda is threatening to end our friendship. What can I do to mend fences while still staying true to myself? --CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE: Why on earth did you tell Jennifer what Amanda said to you? All that did was stir the pot and now everyone is in a fight. While I don’t know what your intention was, that wasn’t the smartest move. Now Amanda doesn’t trust you and it will be a lot harder to mend fences. On the other side of this, I don’t understand why Amanda felt the need to dictate to you whether or not you should be friends with Jennifer. You can be friends with whomever you want.  I would first decide what you want before you pick up the phone to mend fences. Clearly, you feel some loyalty to Jennifer since you told her what Amanda was saying. If you are going to be friends with both of them moving forward, you can’t talk to them about each other. This is only going to make it worse for everyone. You need to pick up the phone and call Amanda to apologize. Yes, pick up the phone. Do not text her. Tell her that you are sorry for repeating what she told you to Jennifer, and you realize now that if you are going to remain friends with both her and Jennifer, you have to stay out of their relationship. Then, tell Amanda that while you value your friendship with her, you don’t appreciate her expecting you to drop friends because she isn’t getting along with them. Leave it at that. If she can’t handle this answer, then you have to decide what’s more important. Your friendship with her or your relationship with yourself.

DEAR NATALIE: My brother just started dating this new girl and they are making everyone crazy with their public displays of affection. They are kissing and holding hands all the time, and they are practically on top of each other when we go out to dinner. It’s really gross and embarrassing and my family is over it. My mom wants me to say something to my brother, but I think it will just make it worse. Any advice for how to deal with these two? --NO PDA, PLEASE

DEAR NO PDA, PLEASE: Most likely this is a phase and will pass. You wrote that they just started dating, so everything is really new and exciting. Perhaps they are falling in love or just head over heels for one another. I think it is sweet and romantic that they can’t keep their hands off of one another. But, not everyone is comfortable with that, and I understand your perspective. I would just let this play itself out a little longer. They may calm down on their own over the next couple of months and settle into a relationship with each other. You could always just choose not to look at them. You could walk out of the room if you are uncomfortable. You could even make a joke and say something like “Get a room, love birds.” Public displays of affection aren’t for everyone, but it’s his choice, after all.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don’t be afraid to smile. It makes you appear more approachable. A genuine smile is the start of a genuine conversation which could lead to a fruitful connection.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I will be attending a summer wedding in July. I am enthralled with royalty and just love the way Duchess Catherine looks with her many tiaras. I recently purchased a tiara. It is not cheap, but then again it does not need to go in a vault! I would like to get my hair done and wear it to the wedding. But my friends say no, as it would show up the bride. I have no idea (and will not know until the day of the wedding) how the bride is wearing her hair or what kind of hairpiece she will be wearing. I am not in the wedding party, these are not close friends, and I will probably be sitting at a table by the kitchen. Would it be wrong of me to wear my tiara? Is that showing up the bride? -- LADY IN WAITING

DEAR LADY IN WAITING: As much as you may love the idea of looking like a duchess for the day, even Catherine would not wear her tiara to someone else's wedding. Why? It's tacky. It doesn't matter where you sit or how well you know the bride. It isn't proper to wear white to someone else's wedding, and a tiara falls into the same category. 

This event is about a celebration of two people's love and commitment to each other, and as much as you may want to wear a tiara, this just isn't the right time or place. Save your crown for another day and allow the bride to be the star of this show. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: What do you do when you see an ethical issue at the office and aren't sure how to handle it? I want to be as vague as possible because I am dealing with a real-life situation right now, but the gist of it is that someone very high up is stealing from the organization that I work for and I'm not sure what to do about it. Do I go to a board member? A lawyer? Do I do nothing? This has been keeping me up every night since I discovered what is going on with our books and I'm completely anxiety ridden about it. There is only one board member I trust. -- ETHICAL DILEMMA

DEAR ETHICAL DILEMMA: If something is keeping you awake night after night, the only choice you have is to act to at least reduce your stress level enough to sleep. Make a list of people you trust that could help you with this. You may want to approach that one board member discreetly and talk vaguely about what you are seeing to gauge the reaction. If you have actual proof that the person is stealing, come prepared. But, after you tell someone within the organization, you have to be prepared for the fallout. Ever heard the saying, "Don't shoot the messenger?" Well, in this case, be prepared for the person you accused to come after you. You may want to contact a lawyer before you chat with anyone within the organization for some legal advice on the matter. I know we tell our children to always do the right thing, but doing the right thing is actually difficult and scary at times. This doesn't mean you shouldn't follow your instincts, but just be prepared for the worst. You may want to start job hunting in the meantime, too. Good luck. We need more people willing to stand up for what is right - even when it's scary.  

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: The holidays are a great time to reintroduce yourself to contacts whom you may have lost touch with earlier in the year. Send them a funny holiday e-card or invite them to a networking event to reconnect and possibly reignite a conversation. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)