DEAR NATALIE: Every year, I make resolutions to eat better, work out more and date nice guys. And every year, I break this resolution. I have literally no willpower when it comes to men or food. I have a very demanding job and I have little time for myself. Exercising is a challenge, too. Do you have any ideas for ways to keep resolutions and break bad habits? I want off this merry-go-round and would like to get married while I am still young-ish. --THE CYCLE CONTINUES

DEAR THE CYCLE CONTINUES: I am not a big fan of resolutions. It puts an unnecessary amount of pressure on people and sets them up for failure. According to research conducted by the University of Scranton, only 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals. This does not inspire hope for the rest of us. Instead of feeling bad by the end of January, try this: Start a gratitude list on things you wish to improve. For example, instead of “I need to eat healthier this year,” try: “I love my body. I love how it fuels me to reach my goals. I am going to be grateful for the ability to nourish it with foods that energize and revitalize me.” Instead of “I will work out four times a week, every week,” try: “I am grateful for the chance I have to move my body. I am grateful for how strong my body is and what it can do for me. I am grateful for any opportunities to be active.” The way our mind shifts when your words shift is amazing. Repeat these statements every day, out loud. You may start becoming more mindful of what you are eating. You may become more mindful of how many steps you take every day or for the opportunity to take a yoga class when it presents itself. You may even start loving yourself a little more, recognizing your worth and identifying those “nice guys” because you are being a little nicer to yourself.

DEAR NATALIE: My brother-in-law recently got fired from his job after a woman accused him of harassment. My sister is standing by him, saying that he would never do anything like that and that this woman is just out to hurt him because she is in love with him. He claims that he has shot down her advances several times at the office so she threatened him that she would go to management if they didn’t run away together. Well, here we are. He was fired and she has left for another job in a new city. Now, I think this story sounds over-the-top and too dramatic to be true. My brother-in-law has never been my favorite person, so this doesn’t surprise me. But my sister is upset with me, now, because she thinks I am not lending enough support to her or him. I feel frustrated because I don’t really want to fake any kind of emotions for him. I feel badly for her, however. How should I move forward with this? --CAN’T FAKE IT

DEAR CAN’T FAKE IT: The fact that he was fired shows that there must have been some kind of concrete evidence to suggest that he was causing problems for her at work. They could have also been having an affair. Reading between the lines, it suggests that they could have been involved with each other. The fact that he told your sister that she was “in love with him” is interesting. Why would he say that? Maybe he was in love with her and wanted to have an affair. Maybe she refused and he started harassing her. Or, maybe this just sounds like the beginning of a bad Lifetime movie. This is a pretty complicated situation and we will never really know the truth, but either way, your brother-in-law is possibly sexually harassing women or having extramarital affairs. Or both. He wouldn’t be my favorite person, either. But, whatever the case, your sister is taking the “stand by your man” approach to dealing with this and there really isn’t anything you can do about that. However, it is also not her place to tell you how you should react to all of this information. I would tell her that while you love and care about her very much, you are still processing what she told you. It isn’t your responsibility to emotionally support him. Be there for her and see how things unfold.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Get out of your office. You will not meet people and make lasting connections by hiding inside your comfort zone. Connect with people via email and set up coffee-dates to get to know those in your community that can help you do your job better, and those you can help in return.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I built our home 15 years ago. I became friendly with a neighbor because we both had puppies at the same time, and they played together. The neighbor took complete advantage of me. She would dump off her puppy and go out and drink with her flight attendant friends, especially when her husband was business traveling. I would tell her I have to get up at 5 a.m., so please be home by 10 p.m. She would arrive at my house at midnight, drunk, lie on my kitchen floor, and we had to take her home. 

I agreed to watch her puppy while she went on a vacation for five days, and she was to watch mine when I went away a few weeks later. First of all, she never returned home when she said she would, and she never called. When I called her a few days later, she got really angry. So, then it was my turn to go away. She told me the day before that she had a flight and couldn't watch my puppy. What a mess. 

This is only one incident that she pulled. Another is that she bad-mouthed me to a neighbor who repeated it to a woman I work with and tried to get me fired! There are lots more. Eventually, we didn't bother, and our friendship fell apart. A couple of years later she moved to North Carolina, and I thought she was gone. Since then, every time there is a get-together in the neighborhood, even with new people who moved in after she left, we never get invited. My strong feeling is that she bad-mouthed us to everyone before she left. 

Should I confront one of the women who had a neighborhood Christmas party and ask her outright why we were not invited or just ignore it and don't bother with my neighbors? It really is unfair what she did. I bent over backward to be nice and did so many favors for her, and now I have this on my hands. -- SICK OF NEIGHBOR’S EVIL MOUTH

DEAR SICK OF NEIGHBOR’S EVIL MOUTH: Of course there are two sides to every story, but it looks as though she used and abused you and then blackballed you in the community. What is really upsetting is that you are still dealing with the repercussions of her nastiness long after she's left. 

So the question remains: Do you care if your neighbors like you? It is awful to feel left out, especially in a tight-knit community. If you want to clear your name, call the neighbor who did not invite you to the Christmas party and politely ask if you can have her over for tea or coffee. Then, just be honest. Tell her your feelings were hurt and that you think that the neighbors have the wrong impression about you and your family. If she seems receptive to hearing you out, explain what happened between you and this woman. (Don't become catty or insult her. Rise above it and just tell the CliffsNotes version.) It will feel good to at least get the opportunity to clear your name. 

Then, throw a little cocktail party at your home a few weeks later and invite all your neighbors so that they can meet the "real" you. The good thing is, people have short memories, so the newest impression you make will stick with them.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: A neighbor whom I have known as a "seldom seen friend" for many years recently asked if she could spend some time at my house while her home was being shown by a Realtor. I agreed, but surprisingly she showed up with a large new (untrained) dog that was out of control in my house. The dog spilled water and food, jumped on cabinets and furniture. After an hour, it looked as if the dog needed to be relieved. So I suggested that we take the dog outside for a walk and subsequently suggested that we keep her tied up outside. It was another five hours before the Realtor was gone. When we went back outside, the dog had chewed through my brand new hose/handle to render it unusable. My neighbor was well aware that this had happened but didn't offer to replace it. Is this my fault for suggesting that the dog be kept outside or her fault for bringing the dog in the first place? -- BAD DOG

DEAR BAD DOG: Your neighbor is rude. She invited herself over, then she brings an untrained dog into the home, then the dog causes damage and she doesn't offer to replace what damage her animal did. You did nothing wrong, other than try and be a good neighbor (and we all know that no good deed goes unpunished). She originally should have told you that the dog was coming with her, and she should have offered to tie her dog up outside in your yard. Once having the dog secured outside, she should have cleared the area of anything that the dog could have gnawed on to minimize the chances of the dog finding inappropriate chew toys. In fact, she should have brought a bowl for water for the dog along with a treat or two, as well. This isn't the dog's fault. This is the inconsiderate owner's fault. At least you know in this situation how differently you would have acted and be glad you were raised well. In fact, call your mom right now and thank her. As my acupuncturist always says (and, yes, I have an acupuncturist), "As hard as it is to be with them, just be glad you aren't them." 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Get out of your comfort zone. Attend a social function out of your normal circle of influence. You may be surprised how much you actually have in common with those who come from different backgrounds. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)