life

Smoker Co-Worker Causes Asthma Problems

Ask Natalie by by Natalie Bencivenga
by Natalie Bencivenga
Ask Natalie | November 23rd, 2018

DEAR NATALIE: Where I work, there is a seriously heavy smoker who, well, smells very bad. In addition to the fact that I have asthma and am very sensitive, it's a really disgusting odor. Of course, smoking is not permitted on work premises, but every break or lunch finds her hastening outdoors and returning smelling even worse. We share a work area, so avoiding her is impossible. She is not the only smoker at work but is the only one who carries the odor like a second skin. What to do? -- NONSMOKING SECTION

DEAR NONSMOKING SECTION: We have all been around that person who just reeks of cigarettes. Being around a heavy smoker, especially when you have a health condition, isn't fun and can even be dangerous for your health. It could cause your asthma to flare up, creating a major issue. Because of that, it goes beyond "a bad smell" and becomes a real health concern. For this reason, go to your supervisor privately and explain the situation. Say that your asthma has been kicking up because of the smoke smell, and you would like to move to another area. Get a medical note from your doctor if you have to in order to showcase the severity of the situation. While it won't improve your relationship with this woman -- but how could you have one with her anyway? -- at least it could give you some fresh air to breathe. In the meantime, try taking breaks when she comes back from smoking outside, so at least you aren't around her when the smell is worse than usual. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Humility wins. I was in a situation recently where a person felt it necessary to give everyone unsolicited career advice upon his first introduction, and let's just say it went over badly. Everyone talked about how rude he was after he left the group. Yikes! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

life

Girlfriend has bad breath? Fighting over what kind of house you will live in once you are married?

Ask Natalie by by Natalie Bencivenga
by Natalie Bencivenga
Ask Natalie | November 21st, 2018

DEAR NATALIE:  I love my girlfriend, but lately, she has had horrible breath. I don’t mean to be rude, but I have been avoiding kissing her for weeks now. She has asked me why I don’t like kissing her, anymore, but I don’t have the heart to tell her the truth. How can I say that she has bad breath without upsetting her? --BAD BREATH

DEAR BAD BREATH: The fact that it has gotten so bad that you don’t want to kiss her isn’t just concerning from a romantic standpoint, but also from a health perspective. Sometimes, bad breath can indicate that something something more serious is at work. If she is coming to you and aware that you don’t want to kiss her, you might as well just tell her the truth. Of course, you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but avoiding her kisses can’t go on forever. It sounds as though you really love her and sometimes the only way beyond something is through it. So, the next time you are together, you should say that you are concerned for her health and while you love kissing her, her breath has been “off” lately. Recommend that she see a dentist and take it from there. She may be embarrassed at first or taken aback at your honesty, but in the long term, you aren’t doing either of you any favors by keeping your mouth shut.

DEAR NATALIE: My fiance and I are in the process of buying a new home. He wants something small, a townhouse or a condo since neither of us have ever lived on our own together. I, however, want a big space. I want a large yard, at least three bedrooms and a large living area and kitchen. He thinks it is overkill and unreasonable, especially because the price tag basically will double in the neighborhoods we are looking at. We both have good jobs and I think we should go all out with our first home. But, we both don’t want kids for a few more years and he doesn’t see the need for all that space. What do you think? I want this squared away before we tie the knot in four months. --SIZE MATTERS

DEAR SIZE MATTERS: I would save your pennies and am inclined to agree with your future husband on this one. After owning my first home, I can say with a deeper understanding that you don’t actually know what you want until you own your first home. Now I know for my next house down the road what it is that I want to keep, in terms of features, and what are new “must-haves” that I didn’t even know that I wanted. An apartment or another rental can give you some idea of what you like, but until you deal with the ups and downs of homeownership, you don’t really have a clue. Also, you don’t want to be in a financial situation where you have overextended yourself right out of the gate. Homes are expensive, and not just in the initial purchase, but with taxes, renovations and repair costs to factor in. You may be be able to purchase something, but will you have enough money on hand to furnish it how you would like and to upgrade certain features over time? Plus, you don’t want to be in a situation where all of your money is allocated towards your mortgage and you don’t have any extra for dinners out, entertainment, travel or emergency funds. Think smart about this. You may want to start small and grow as your family grows and your lifestyle changes.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: With the holiday season upon us, it can be easy to spread yourself too thin. Remember to take care of yourself during this time with self care tips like regular exercise, meditation and healthy foods to keep you properly fueled for all of the fun gatherings ahead!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

life

Correct Vs. Normal When Items Are Left Behind

Ask Natalie by by Natalie Bencivenga
by Natalie Bencivenga
Ask Natalie | November 19th, 2018

DEAR NATALIE: I have a topic for your "Ask Natalie" column. The scenario: I ate lunch at the Bettis Grille recently, and a few hours later I realized I had left my Reebok running gloves there. I went back. The manager looked for them, but they were not turned in nor still at the table where I sat. I was very disappointed. I went home and told my husband. He said I shouldn't be so surprised that they weren't there because the normal thing is for someone to take them, especially because they were nice gloves. I argued that the normal thing would be to turn them in to the manager/hostess. Ignoring what is the "correct" thing to do, what is the "normal" thing to do? -- COLD HANDS

DEAR COLD HANDS: Here's probably the conversation, if we are being honest, that would happen in someone's mind if he or she saw your gloves sitting on the table. "Wow, those are nice gloves. I guess whoever left them here doesn't care enough about them to keep them. Oooh look, they fit. Welcome to your new home." Now, is that the "right" thing to do? No, it's not. Like you said, the right thing to do is to turn them in to someone at the front desk. But, are humans good at justifying the things that they want? Yes, yes we are. So while I can agree with you on what is right, I have to side with your husband on this one as to what is "normal." And abandoned gloves in a restaurant sound like fair game, unfortunately. Here's to hoping they found a home where they were needed, and be grateful that you can afford a new pair.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Are you shy? Bring a friend with you to a networking event who is comfortable in front of new people and let them lead the way through the crowd, making a few introductions for you. Plan ahead with your friend and share your contacts so it's a win-win.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

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