DEAR NATALIE: Recently, our office hired a new administrative assistant. She's very cute and admittedly a bit younger than me, as in 23 years old or so. I'm 29. She seemed nice. The moment at which I started noticing an attraction was after she had been there for a couple of weeks. She came walking down the hallway, and I wanted to introduce myself to her to make her feel welcome. Her entire face lit up with a smile, at which point I introduced myself and my friend to her. While chatting, she maintained a big smile and prolonged eye contact with just me. Days after, I started noticing her stealing glances in my direction, followed by her looking away while smiling if I caught her, or when walking past me, saying "Hey" in a way that was decidedly more flirtatious than normal. 

Now, I never approached her at first for a couple of reasons. I've always been reluctant to get involved with a co-worker for obvious reasons. Furthermore, I would see other guys talking/flirting with her periodically. But, she continued to give me what I felt were body language signs of attraction. So, I asked her out for coffee. She said "yes," but our "date" never happened, as work got in the way. I would try to reschedule with her several times, but every time I would ask her to do something, she had a reason why she couldn't. I was starting to feel like it was a lost cause, but what happened next made me think that I was repeatedly led on and played like a fiddle. 

I decided to email her, on her personal account, one last time to ask her out, telling her how it was too bad our timing had been off, but I also hinted that I felt I was being led on. She responded by telling me that she had a BOYFRIEND (facepalm) whom she was "in love with," and that she was "sorry if she had led me on." I was floored. It was an emotional mixture of frustration, sadness, anger and relief because at least I had an apparent answer as to where I stood with her. Would you agree that it sounds like I was seriously led on? I'm very frustrated and agitated about this. How should I proceed? -- FACEPALM

DEAR FACEPALM: Your initial instincts on why you should avoid dating a co-worker were pretty spot on. It can be very challenging to do, especially because the environment lends itself to mixed signals and flirtations that arise out of boredom. But, what always baffles me about some men is this sense of entitlement when it comes to women. What exactly did this girl do, besides smile and make eye contact, that led you to believe that you were owed something? She agreed to go to coffee with you. It didn't transpire, and apparently she had a change of heart. Perhaps she didn't realize your motivations were anything other than getting to know her better because she was the newbie on the block, and once she realized you were crushing on her, she made it clear that she had a boyfriend. 

It can be hard for people to decipher what is "flirting" and what is "friendly," but to become agitated simply because your ego (let's be honest) is bruised is a bit dramatic. Take a deep breath. I don't think she was playing you like a fiddle. She doesn't have to reveal her romantic status to you or to anyone at the office. Clear your head, dust yourself off and don't take this all so seriously. When the right person crosses your path, you'll know. (And she will, too.)

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

DEAR NATALIE: With the holiday season upon us, my wife and I have been fighting a lot about where we are going to spend our time for Christmas. She wants to go south to visit her mother, who is awful, and her sister, who is worse. I want to stay here and be close to my mother, who is in very poor health and my brother who recently is recovering from a heart attack. When I told her to “have fun” in Georgia, she flipped out and said no way would she be going alone. We have two grown daughters and they don’t want to visit their grandmother in Georgia over the holiday, either. This is becoming a huge point of contention for us. Do you have any ideas for a solution?

--HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

DEAR HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Considering the fact that your mother and brother are not in the best of health, I think you have every reason to stay home for Christmas. But, you could have been a bit nicer about your delivery instead of a sarcastic “have fun” before mentioning that you would not be joining her. While she was insensitive about your family, you should apologize and smooth things over before offering a solution. Then, offer a compromise and spend Christmas with your family and then either invite your mother-in-law and sister-in-law up for holiday or visit them some time in December or January for a holiday weekend. There is a path forward here, but you have to realize that she has the right to see her family this season just like you.

DEAR NATALIE: I went on a dinner date recently and everything was going great until the bill came. He paid it and went to the bathroom. Well, while he was gone, I took a peek and saw that he left our waitress a three dollar tip. The dinner was more than 80 dollars. I was totally mortified and so I fumbled through my purse to find some cash. I tried sticking more money in the check holder but he came out and saw me. He got really upset and said that he doesn’t believe in “automatic tipping” and that the service was “subpar” at best. I disagreed and we left the dinner very annoyed with one another. Well, after a week, he texted me and asked me out again. He said he wanted a “do-over” and apologized. Now I don’t know what to think. I really did like him, but I’m not sure I can get over what happened. Any thoughts? --TIPPED OFF

DEAR TIPPED OFF: In the words of the very wise Maya Angelou: “People show you who they are...so believe them.” Unless he apologizes and tips like a Rockefeller from here on out, I would be very wary. Not just because of the tipping incident, but if he is stingy with his money, what else is he going to be stingy with? Time? Affection? The ability to compromise or see the world from other perspectives? Does he lack empathy? Laugh if you will, but I believe that how a person tips defines different parts of their character and I bet that you do, too, considering that you snuck a peek when the bill arrived.  I believe in giving second chances, but really pay attention to how he treats not only waiters, but other service providers, as well. There is nothing more unattractive than a snob.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Do the upcoming holidays make you feel like reaching out to others? Volunteer your time in ways that not only uplift your community, but make you feel good, as well. You never know who you may meet while spreading the holiday cheer!

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My son married a vegetarian, and she converted him. Even at their wedding we were served rice, beans, nuts and tofu. (I don't even know what that is.) At weddings, I'm used to chicken, ham, meatballs, etc. But it's OK. I never presume to tell other people how to live. But now the problem is that occasionally I'm invited over there for dinner. I love the kids and wouldn't hurt their feelings for anything. But I hate their menu. I've gone a few times, and now I'm running out of excuses. Can you help me? -- HOLD THE TOFU

DEAR HOLD THE TOFU: It can be really hard to accommodate everyone's likes and dislikes, especially when it comes to something as personal as food. I'm a vegan, and when people come to my home for dinner or when I take a dish to a family or friend's home, they know it's not going to be ham. 

You can't expect to get your son to eat a steak with you anymore than he can expect to convert you to a plant-based diet. So, what can you do? You have a few options: 1. The next time they want to have you over for dinner, offer to make a dish that you can eat, and if they want some, they can have some, too. Don't be afraid to say that while you love spending time together, you hope they don't mind if you bring a little extra something to eat to satiate your meat-loving side. You also could say that you are bringing cupcakes for dessert to smooth things over. A little sugar can solve anything. (And don't forget to take side portions of the veggies they offer you as a show of good will. Think of it like a U.N. meeting.) 2. Go out to dinner. Italian, Asian and Spanish restaurants will have menus that can accommodate vegetarian lovers and meat lovers alike. Then everyone wins.