DEAR NATALIE: Recently, I bought a house that needed a lot of work. I had about six months to get it fixed up so my fiancee and I could move in after we were married. I planned to do most of the work myself, mainly because I didn't have the funds to hire a crew, and most of the work was cosmetic. I'd go to my regular job, then go to the house to work on fixing it up.

A lot of my friends said they would help me. As it turns out, only three helped me at all, and they helped me a lot. I could never have done it without them. All the rest of my "friends" were always too busy going out at night or over the weekends to help like they said they would. The house finally got finished no thanks to them.

I have heard through the grapevine that one of my "friends" who never lifted a finger to help me when I really needed him is planning an elaborate bachelor party and inviting all my "friends" who couldn't be bothered to be around when I needed real friends. I want nothing to do with this party. I realize my "friends" are probably trying to make up for not following through on their promise of helping me work on my house, but I am angry about this. I would rather just go out with my real friends who did help me. What do you think? -- NO TIME FOR FAKE FRIENDS

DEAR NO TIME FOR FAKE FRIENDS: Here's the thing about friendships: People disappoint us. They can be selfish and petty, and, frankly, they sometimes hurt us. And it sounds as though you are truly hurt underneath your anger. You feel as though in your hour of need, very few people stepped up to the plate to be there. But what you did learn -- and you are very lucky, in fact, to have learned this -- is that you have three really good ride-or-die friends. Think about that. There are people who will live their entire lives and never even find one person who would help them move a couch let alone rehab a whole house!

You now know this. You know who are your true lifelong friends. So, if your "friendlies," as I like to call them (those people we socialize with but don't have on speed dial), want to throw you a party, let them. They feel bad; they feel guilty -let them assuage their sad feelings by throwing you a fab party. Enjoy the night. Just have fun, keep it light and plan a separate night out for you and your three very close friends either, before or after this event, and enjoy that experience, too. The lucky thing in this situation is that now you know who are true friends and who are friendlies. That is priceless information. Besides, it's not worth holding on to negative feelings. They won't serve you, and what's the point in that?

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I am a 68-year-old man and my wife is a year younger. We have been married more than 45 years. I still have romantic needs, she does not. Any physical intimate contact is forbidden. She says being intimate makes her feel “cheap.” This issue has caused great tension and stress between us as I still desire a romantic, intimate life with her and it seems as though she does not. Can you suggest a solution for this problem? Thank you.  

--UNHAPPILY WED

DEAR UNHAPPILY WED: I find that the solution for most (if not every problem) is open and honest communication. You need to find out what is at the root of this. Maybe it is emotional. Maybe it is hormonal. Maybe she is not attracted to you for whatever reason. Maybe your romantic life has always been about you and not about her and she’s just over it. Instead of asking her to fulfill your needs, try asking her what her needs are. If you are uncomfortable doing this alone, find a reputable sex therapist to mediate these conversations. She may be uncomfortable with this idea, but make it clear to her that you love her and want to strengthen your marriage. You may be surprised at the answer. Perhaps she needs romance outside of the bedroom in order for her to get in the headspace for the bedroom. Do you still date? Do you still take her out to dinner or bring home flowers for no reason or clean the house without her having to ask you? When was the last time you cooked her dinner or encouraged her to take a day to herself and spend time doing something she loves independent of you or your family? Do you listen when she speaks, engage in thoughtful conversation together and laugh together? Romance starts in the mind, and it seems as though you are disconnected mentally as well as physically. If you try counseling and she still doesn’t want to participate in that part of your marriage, anymore, then it can get tricky. Either you become a monk of some sorts and accept the end of your sexual life, or you have a real conversation about the idea of an open marriage for physical needs. You may have no intention of ever doing this, but just bringing it up may make her recognize the necessity for this part of life in your life. Who knows? Maybe it’ll open her mind to finding a way to save your marriage together instead of drifting farther apart.  

DEAR NATALIE: My wife is considerably younger than I am and when we first met, she told me she never wanted children. But now she is almost 37, and I am 59 and the idea has been coming up a lot lately. She seems to have changed her mind. We have married for five years and have a great relationship. I have four grown children from a previous marriage and the idea of starting all over again is not something I am interested in doing. I want to travel and enjoy our lives. I was able to retire recently and we live a very comfortable lifestyle. I am not sure how to put my foot down on this one, as she seems adamant about having at least one child with me. What should I do? --NO MORE KIDS PLEASE

DEAR NO MORE KIDS PLEASE: Sounds like you are about to become a father again, congratulations! I hate to bring you back to reality, but someone had to do it. If she wants to have a baby, and you have already had four with someone else, do you really think you are going to win on this one? Clearly, having a child is not about winning or losing, but on what planet do you marry a woman twenty-two years younger than you and not think that this will become an issue? If I were you, I would tell her how you feel and what your concerns are. If you have resources, then you may still be able to travel and live the lifestyle that you want, just with a little one in tow. You may balk at the idea of being a father to a teenager when you are seventy, but I think this is the trade-off for marrying someone young enough to be your daughter. Either accept it or let her go to find someone else who wants to fulfill this dream.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Look at every new situation as a way to meet new friends and make new connections. Be friendly and approachable to the people around you. People respond to energy, so make sure that you are giving off positive vibes.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My husband and I have been invited to a casual friend's wedding. The problem is, the wedding is on a Friday afternoon. We would both have to miss half a day's work. My husband and I both have very recently started new jobs. We do not get paid if we don't work, and we also don't want to make a bad impression on our new employers. What should we do? We are leaning toward skipping the wedding and getting to the reception after work when we can. Help! -- 2 MEN AND A DILEMMA

DEAR 2 MEN AND A DILEMMA: Call your friend who is getting married and simply explain the situation. Having a wedding on a Friday afternoon will probably make it tough for some guests to attend the whole event because of their work schedules (and I'm sure you and your hubby aren't the only ones debating what to do). Just tell your friend exactly what you told me and let them know that as soon as you can be there, you will. Even if this means that you come late to the reception, they will know to save a place for you both. Giving them a heads up shows that you are considerate of their feelings and that you have every intention of celebrating with them as soon as you are able. (And don't forget to bring a gift!)

Natalie's networking tip of the week: Is there a guest list that you can look at ahead of time to see who will be at the event? If so, check it out and familiarize yourself with some of the people that you want to meet. Whether they are speakers or organizers, they may give you great insights and lead you to other connections you want to make to maximize your time.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)