DEAR NATALIE: I work in a government office and I have one co-worker that constantly is talking about her personal life.  For example, a few weeks ago she was speaking with her divorce attorney and discussing really personal things in the work area.  If it is not about that, then it’s about her oldest child whom she had to kick out of her house or her sex life and what method of birth control she is using. I have tried keeping my headphones on, but you can only turn up the music so loud.  Short of going to my boss and complaining, is there any other recourse I have?

--FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER

DEAR FRUSTRATED CO-WORKER: If she is this annoying, you really should just confront her. I don’t mean in a “Real Housewives” kind of way, but in a “hey, I’m concerned for you as a colleague,” way. Even if you really aren’t that concerned about her, and it’s more about getting her to stop airing out her dirty laundry, the way you present it could make all the difference. For example, you may want to pull her aside and say something like, “Is everything okay at home? You seem to be talking a lot about some really personal things that I’m assuming you don’t want everyone to know here at the office. I don’t want people to start talking about you, so maybe it would be better if you told just your close friends about things outside of work.” If she doesn’t seem to care and gives you an eye roll along with a: “If they don’t want to hear it, then they can tell me to their face!” response, your only other course of action may be to let your boss know that it is creating an uncomfortable workplace for everyone around her. But, if you cringe at the idea of bringing your boss into it, you can either try one more time and be even more upfront about your feelings, or buy bigger headphones.  

DEAR NATALIE: My sister recently had a baby and now everyone is bothering me about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister and I’m totally in love with my new nephew, but I have no interest in starting a family. I’m single and really love my life. Plus, I’m pushing 38 and don’t really think it is going to happen for me. But I’m okay with that. Please explain to me why I’m okay with it but everyone else isn’t and therefore everyone else is making me feel bad and guilty for the life I’ve chosen. What is wrong with being single and child-free, anyway? --SPINSTER FOR LIFE

DEAR SPINSTER FOR LIFE: The next time someone says to you, “When are you going to have a baby?” try this as a response: “You know, it is so refreshing to hear someone finally take an interest in my life. But let’s put babies aside for a minute so I can tell you about my real passion…” Or try, “Oh, I’ve never wanted kids and don’t plan on changing my mind.” Who knows? Maybe that will shut them up. There is nothing wrong with being single and child-free. If you don’t want children, don’t have them. I never understood the obsession with people trying to encourage other people who either aren’t ready or aren’t interested in having children into having them. All children (in a perfect world) should be brought into homes full of love by parents or people who wanted them. Anything else is less than ideal.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Before you end a conversation, always ask the person if they know of other people that you should connect with. Usually, people have at least one or two others off the top of their heads that could be helpful. In turn, be prepared to do the same!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: So how about this, after reading all of your letters about wedding gifts, I had to ask you about my dilemma: My now husband's family, at least a dozen of them, ate at our sit-down dinner, drank and danced the night away at our wedding several years ago. Not only did we not get a gift from any of them, but also we did not even get a card that said congratulations! I have carried a grudge since that day! I don't enjoy being with them because I find them rude and selfish. It is creating a wedge between me and my husband's family, but I have been having a hard time letting go. What are your thoughts? I am tired of feeling this way. Help me put this behind me! -- ANGRY WIFE

DEAR ANGRY WIFE: Who is it hurting more by carrying around all of this anger? Something that rubbed you the wrong way many years ago has tainted your relationships and possible friendship with your husband's family. People are selfish. They are selfish and rude and cranky and funny and loving and thoughtful and more. We are not all "good" or all "bad." No one is perfect. What gives me hope is that we are capable of change. We are capable of being better. Sometimes, we just need motivation to do so. Be that motivation. Make a conscious decision to put those bad feelings behind you and realize that now is all we have. Show them how you want to be treated by treating them well. Invite them for dinner. Make an effort to call more often. Take their kids to the movies. Do something good for someone else in your extended family and see how it feels. You may not get the reciprocity or the adoration you are looking for right away, but when we plant seeds of love, in time beautiful things may grow.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: One of my co-workers clears her throat loudly and often; she has some acid reflux issue. Some of us have joked with her about it and asked nicely if she had seen a doctor and/or taken anything for it. She said there is not much she can do about it. But it is driving me and my co-workers crazy. We sit in close proximity of each other, in an open space, and putting earphones on usually does not help (you can only play music so loudly). I don't want her to feel bad and I don't want to go running to the boss, but this is affecting our work. -- COUGH IT UP

DEAR COUGH IT UP: I'm trying to visualize this scenario in which this woman is constantly coughing to the point where your own earphones aren't even helping and it's starting to remind me of a "Seinfeld" episode. The only thing you can do is suck it up and deal with it (after all, it doesn't sound as though she can control this situation), or go talk to your boss about moving your seat. Perhaps if you let your boss know what is going on, in a concerned way, saying something like, "While I am worried about Beverly's health, it is starting to impact our work. Is there any way we can rearrange our seats to maybe distance ourselves a bit from the unending phlegm parade?" OK, maybe not the last part, but at the end of the day, maybe invest in a good pair of noise canceling earphones, or take up yoga, which can teach you to deal with the daily distractions of life in a peaceful, nonviolent way. Namaste your way out of this.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Feeling like a lot of doors are closing in your face? A lot of people lose out on networking opportunities because they hear "no" and assume that means forever. I like to think of "no" as "try again later." Many times people can't meet up due to personal issues or timing, so circle back, be friendly, keep an open mind and stay positive.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)