DEAR NATALIE: I have started to date this new guy and my friends don’t like him very much. They have heard rumors about him that he was in a domestic violence situation about six months ago and he put his ex-girlfriend in the hospital after the two of them got into an argument. I don’t see how this could be true. He seems really nice. They think I should walk away, but I think I should just ask him and find out if it is true. If it is true, what should I do? --HEARSAY

DEAR HEARSAY: Is there any way you can reach out to the ex-girlfriend? I would be wary of confronting him directly about this situation if he may have a bad temper. If you have no way of contacting her, you will need to discuss this with him. But, I would wait until you can talk about it with another person in the room. I would not confront him alone. If you do find this out to be true, break up with him. Do it publicly, do it with people around you, do not do it when you are alone with him. Many abusers first appear incredibly nice, but don’t mistake control for love. If he’s asking you where you are all the time, shows up unexpectedly, starts deciding things for you or demands that you do things that you aren’t comfortable doing, take note. This is abusive behavior. If you begin down this road, it most likely will only get worse. And remember this, the worst time for a woman who is with an abusive partner is when she tries to leave. This is the time when she is most likely murdered or violently attacked. So if there is a hint of abusiveness around him, investigate. If he is found to have hurt someone so badly that she ended up in the hospital, I wouldn’t just walk away from him. I would run. You are valuable. You have worth and purpose outside of any relationship. Love doesn’t hurt and it never should. If you need more support, call the domestic violence hotline for resources: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

DEAR NATALIE: My good friend has decided that she wants to have a baby on her own. She wants to go get fertility treatments and head to a sperm bank. She is single and pushing forty and says she is “tired of waiting to find the right guy.” She has been very career-driven her whole life and has done really well for herself. I still think she should go a more traditional route and focus on finding a husband first. We got into an argument about it the other day. She said if “I can’t be supportive, then she won’t be able to be friends.” I feel really hurt by this and don’t understand why she is taking my remarks so personally. I have three kids and I don’t think she is ready for the lifestyle change or responsibility that it will add to her life. Aren’t I allowed to share my concerns? --OH BABY

DEAR OH BABY: How else could she take your remarks? It’s an incredibly personal situation and she felt comfortable opening up to you about it and then you shot her down. While it may not have been the way you did it, or the way you would choose to do it, it’s her life and her body. If she has the financial means to take care of a child, and it sounds like she does, what is the problem here? Life is short and if having a baby is something that will bring her joy, she shouldn't have to wait to find “Mr. Right” to do it. Most likely she has been so focused on building her own career that she just didn’t have the time to invest in relationships. Her window is closing to have a baby, and while she may find love down the road, if she waits much longer she may not be able to have her own family. Of course she can adopt, but if she wants to have any of her own children, now would be the time. Instead of judging her for a choice you never had to make, why don’t you be her friend, instead? Share with her the ups and downs of motherhood. Talk about what keeps you up at night and what makes you laugh. Share your dreams and concerns for your children and give her a realistic idea of the thankless, albeit amazing, job that it is. She may just need someone to lean on. Let that person be you.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: The holiday season is heading our way and this is the perfect time to get involved in a charitable organization. Many groups are looking for volunteers this time of year. What a great way to meet new friends and to do something meaningful, as well.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I need some dating advice. I feel like I'm ready to start dating again but am not sure where to start. I have a job with a consistent schedule so I think it would be easy to find time to meet someone. I keep hoping I'll meet someone at yoga or through volunteering because at least then I'd know we have similar interests. A few friends of mine have met someone through Tinder. But, I don't want to be addicted to my phone. I did try Tinder once. I've tried OKCupid a number of times because I also have friends who have had good luck with that, but I didn't like it. I'm on the shy side, so I don't really like blind dates or being put on the spot.

So, I need some advice on where to go/what to do. I have been making an effort to try new things and hopefully meet new people. No such luck -- yet! Please help! -- WALLFLOWER IN THE CITY

DEAR WALLFLOWER IN THE CITY: Sounds as though you are doing everything right. You are branching out beyond the scope of work to try to meet someone by doing things that you enjoy and that put you in a social setting. You tried online dating (and saw that it wasn't for you), so you have stopped putting energy into that to focus on other things. Being shy may seem like it could be an obstacle, but use it as a positive. Your shyness could give you a bit of mystery, which is always sexy. The next time you are out, keep these ideas in mind: 1. Make eye contact. See someone you like? Take a moment to see if you get noticed. Make a connection, give a smile and see if you get a response. If you do, inch your way over. 2. At a house party? Help the host/hostess by keeping busy. It's hard to be a wallflower if you are offering light bites to friends, and it gives you a reason to talk to someone you may be interested in. 3. Try an activity out of your comfort zone. Do something besides yoga that forces interaction. I like that you volunteer, but perhaps get involved in a charitable activity that attracts different types of people that will give you the opportunity to engage with others. 4. Don't put expectations on yourself. If you go out saying, "I have to meet someone tonight," you will feel frustrated or let down and may give off anxiety vibes, which could keep potential dates at bay. 5. Date yourself. In the meantime, just enjoy being with yourself, enjoy your freedom, but keep enough space in your life for a special someone to fit in. Romance will happen naturally. Just keep an open mind and open heart.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My girlfriend and I (we've been dating for about a year and a half) just split up two weeks ago but we are still living together. We just grew apart and while we both want to stay in the apartment, we can't afford it without the other person, and this is lending itself to some weird nights. My mom told me I need to just move out, but I think she should have to because it was my apartment first. What should I do? -- STAYING PUT

DEAR STAYING PUT: It all depends on how many more weird nights you want to have together. Do either of you have any prospects for a roommate? In order to stay in the apartment, the person who has a friend who wants to move in should be the one who gets to stay. I know you feel as though you have dibs on the space, but if both your names are on the lease, at this point the place is fair game. Personally, I would want a fresh start and wouldn't want to stay there because of the memories, but not everyone is so sentimental. The other thing you can do is both move out and find new places that you can afford on your own -- which is challenging in today's modern rental world -- or both agree to stay and just be friends. (And I can hear some of my readers snickering at that thought right now, especially if the space is a one bedroom).

At the end of the day, you have broken up. So, unless you aren't really ready to move on from one another -- you need to both move on. Ask her what her thoughts are on finding a roommate, and see who comes up with one first. Then, the other person will have to leave. But because it seems like an amicable split, perhaps whoever is staying could help the other with some moving costs, such as part of the security deposit, or helping to get a moving van. Some people might think that's weird, but a lot of relationships simply evolve and don't blow up. You can remain civil and friendly during this tricky situation and come out on the other side as friends(ish). But whatever you decide, do it now, not in two months. There is a shelf life to this, after all.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)