DEAR NATALIE: My good friend has been in a long-term relationship for a while but can't seem to get over the ex. The ex is remarried and indulges my friend with heavy flirtation, which makes it worse. I don't know if they have "rekindled" anything, but my friend is distraught. He doesn't want to break up a happy home, but he can't seem to shake his ex. I keep telling him that this will only end badly for both of them, but he's like a moth to a flame. Any thoughts? -- GOING TO GET BURNED

DEAR GOING TO GET BURNED: If you believe in the possibility of past lives, maybe your friend was with this person as lovers in another time and place. Instead of respecting the rules and boundaries of this life, they are trying to re-create a place that will never be again. It's actually sad and poetic if you think of it that way, which can change the way you approach your friend's desire for this other person. Sometimes, dreams of the past and those rose-colored glasses can cloud a person's judgment and make them long for things that never were. The next time your friend brings up his ex, ask him why they didn't work out. Ask why they went in separate directions in the first place. Lust is a selfish feeling; love is selfless. If he really loves this person and doesn't want to cause harm, he has to let that person go and focus on the relationship in front of him. This person is remarried, and while they may think it is fun and sexy to flirt with their ex, it's harmful to everyone involved. Ask your friend, "How could you build anything solid with your ex knowing it was built on lies and betrayal?" 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Use those networking skills to organize some friends and colleagues to give back. Hurricane Harvey has left some major damage in its wake, so why not throw an impromptu charity potluck where donations are sent to the Red Cross? Feels good to do good!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: Recently, a very close friend set me up on a blind date. She knows I am a vegetarian and she knows that I am an animal lover. I have two dogs that I rescued from a shelter and I work at a veterinarian's office. I say this because she set me up with someone who was a carnivore, hates dogs (he’s allergic) and basically was opposite of everything I like. We had a really awkward date and we actually ended it with a bad argument. It was a mess. I can’t believe my friend would set me up with someone like that. Why did she do that? I called her after the date and she laughed! She said she thought it would be funny and that I take dating too seriously. Now I’m really offended. How do I handle this? --BAD DATE, WORSE FRIEND

DEAR BAD DATE, WORSE FRIEND: Yikes! With friends like this, who needs enemies? While I’m sorry you had a bad date, what’s worse is that you had a friend who found humor in a bad situation that she intentionally put you in. I don’t know what your definition of “close friend” is, but when I think of close friends of mine, I think of people who love me for who I am, who nurture my positive attributes, and who are there when I need someone to laugh or cry with. But they aren’t the ones making me cry. I know friends argue, but I wouldn’t be friends with someone who puts me in harmful or negative situations on purpose for their own entertainment. That is pretty creepy and even sociopathic. If I were you, I would put this friend on ice for a while. If she wonders why, confront her about what she did and say that you need to rethink this friendship. Unless she can be supportive and caring, why do you need her in your life? The world is rough enough, you don’t need your “friend” making it harder.

DEAR NATALIE: I’ve caught my girlfriend cheating on me several times, but we always end up getting back together. I love her and I have a hard time letting her go. Every time we get back together, things are great for a few months, and then I can tell she is getting bored with me. Inevitably, she cheats, we break up, and cycle continues. Recently, we broke up again and I told myself I would not let her cry her way back into my life. What do I do to keep myself from making the same mistakes? Do you think people can change? --PUSHOVER

DEAR PUSHOVER: The question isn’t whether people can change, but whether you can change. She has shown you who she is and she has no reason to change because you continue to take her back. She is someone who thinks about herself and knows that if she cries on your shoulder, that manipulation will pull you right back in. She found your soft spot and is exploiting it so that she can have her cake and eat it, too. She sounds like she enjoys the comfort and security of having a steady boyfriend, but she obviously likes the thrill of cheating, as well. Cut. Her. Loose. Stop letting her play you for a fool. Yes, this is your tough love moment because you need it. You sound like someone who is kind, loving and forgiving. These are all wonderful qualities in a partner, but you have to be more discerning or you will keep getting hurt over and over again. End things for real, and then work on building up your own self-confidence so that when the right woman comes along, you will have enough self-respect to put up healthy boundaries from the start.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: You are never too old or young to start expanding your network. Whether it means going out one extra night a month to meet up with networking groups, or whether it means reaching out more to those in your social circle, get in the habit of making connections. We are not islands. We do better when we have friends, colleagues and people that we can count on. If you want to find that person you can rely on, be that person to others.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. We decided to move in together almost a year ago, and since then, we have been arguing and not getting along at all. We broke up three weeks ago. The problem is we are stuck in this apartment with ONE bedroom for another two months until the lease is up. How do we deal? It's so awkward and uncomfortable. Plus, I think he wants to get back together, but I am just not feeling this anymore. Help! -- TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Yikes! If you are adamantly opposed to getting back together, I suggest you take turns sleeping on the couch or find a friend or family member who will let you crash one or two nights a week. 

I'm sorry that this has happened, but it has only been three weeks, so of course it will feel awkward and confusing. The fact that he wants to get back together certainly isn't helping the situation, and because rent is so expensive, you are kind of stuck until you can find a new roommate. That would be my other suggestion. Talk to him about both of you looking for other roommates. One could stay and take over the lease. 

With only two months left on your lease, you both should be looking for new places anyway. So make this your motivator to get out there and find somewhere new to live for a fresh start! And as an aside, be careful how quickly you move in with a lover in the future. Moving in together after only one year of dating may seem romantic, but it's important to think these things through. Next time, give yourself a little more time to learn about the other person before you jump.  

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't be afraid to put out into the world what you want. Speak it, share it, explain your vision and goals to the people you are around. You never know what idea you could spark in someone else with your passion that could lead to something great for you both. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)