DEAR NATALIE: I have a group of three friends who I meet up with every few months. There's a fourth friend who often joins us. "Jane" often brags about stuff. I tried once to talk about stuff that was bothering me and she was not receptive at all. She just turned the conversation around and made it about her. 

Recently, it was my birthday and I invited the other three girls to join me at my favorite tea house. Well, Jane decided she didn't want to go to a tea house -- on my birthday. So, we ended up at a restaurant and they mostly ignored me. It really hurt my feelings. When Jane is around, they turn into mean girls. Any advice? -- BIRTHDAY SADNESS

DEAR BIRTHDAY SADNESS: Confront issues head on. For a lot of people, that can be a challenge, so start with the "nicest" one of the group. Let her know that you were really hurt by the way your friends acted at your birthday dinner and that you have no interest in being around them with Jane. Yes, be that direct. Who knows? Your friend may also feel uncomfortable around Jane and relieved that you feel the same way. 

Then, repeat this with your other two friends. Explain that you were hurt that they didn't acknowledge your birthday and focused their attention on Jane. Be prepared for them to be defensive and even to tell Jane what you said. Who cares? An uncomfortable conversation is better than having to deal with these feelings every time you see her. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have a bit of a problem when it comes to living on my Instagram account. Everywhere I go, I seem to have Fear Of Missing Out. Everyone seems to be doing better than me. Better dinners out, better vacations, better clothes, etc. I love seeing what my friends are doing, but I feel waves of jealousy. It's not a good look. I don't know what to do. My life is not at all interesting. Any advice? -- FOMO MADNESS

DEAR FOMO MADNESS: I need you to back away slowly from the smartphone. Just set it down. You can do it. I believe in you. You are not alone. I think the whole country needs an instabreak. The sick part is that we rail against the media for photoshopping pictures and creating unrealistic standards to live up to. Well guess what? 

We are the media, all of us, and when given the opportunity to make that sunset a little more vibrant, or our thighs a little smaller, or our skin a little smoother, or our dinners a little more glamorous, we do it. We have set the bar so high that we are the culprits in curating our own lives just to impress the online world. My soon-to-be teenage stepson tells me that unless his friends' photos hit a certain amount of "likes" on Instagram, they delete them. They are so worried about people seeing a photo with less than 45 or 50 likes that they literally wipe those memories from their phones. 

We are all living online now, and reality is a break from the faux-realness we have created on our social media accounts. It is unhealthy and depressing. Of course you would feel like you are missing out when everyone's photos are of vacations, dinners out and fabulous events. But guess what? 

You and I both know that isn't reality. They aren't posting the other 23 hours of their day when their kids throw cereal all over the floor, when their car breaks down on the way to a job interview or when they have a pimple the size of Montana on their chin. Come on, this is life. I recommend going on an instadiet. Limit your time on social media to one hour or less a day. I find that when I leave my phone at home or turn off notifications, I breathe easier and feel less anxiety. After all, if it isn't fun, why do it? 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Can't afford the ticket price to charity events that double as good networking opportunities? Ask to volunteer at the event. Help sell tickets, help set up the event, get your foot in the door that way. Many times, you will be given a seat at the table because of it and most likely will meet the people running things. They're the ones you want to network with in the first place! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: What are your thoughts about children and cell phones? My daughter is ten and already begging me for a cell phone. She claimed that all of her friends are already getting their own phones. I didn’t believe her at first but then I started asking some of the other parents who just shrugged their shoulders like it was no big deal. I don’t think she should have one but I’m torn. I don’t want her to be left out of the group, either. What do you think? -- CELL PHONE MADNESS

DEAR CELL PHONE MADNESS: The short answer? No way would I give a ten-year-old her own cell phone. First of all, just because we beg our parents for something so we don’t feel left out doesn’t mean we should get it. There is always going to be someone who can afford, experience or be something that you cannot. I don’t think indulging your child’s every whim will help them grow into a strong, productive, empathic person. I also read from different pediatricians and psychologists online that children’s brains just aren’t developed enough to have that much stimuli at such a young age. They say that 14 is the minimum age as to when a child should have a phone, but I think it should be older than that. Either way, if you do decide to go ahead with this plan (which I am against, in case you didn’t catch that) there has to be rules in place including: When she can have it, who is allowed to be on her contact list, she cannot have any passcodes that you don’t have access to, and you have to approve all apps on the phone. Geez, just thinking about this is making me tired. Are you sure you want the headache of all of this? Once they get a phone in their hands, it will never stop. The calls, the texts, the Snapchats, the possibility of online bullying...the list goes on and on. While she may not be “cool” without one, I believe she will be safer without one, and as her parent, it is your job to protect her. You may not be the “fun” parent in this case, but who cares. Your job is to raise a healthy, kind human—not to be her best friend. (That will come after she turns 25 and realizes that you were right about pretty much everything).

DEAR NATALIE: I just started dating someone a few weeks ago. Should I be expected to get her a birthday gift? Her birthday is coming up this weekend and I would like to get her something but I don’t want to freak her out. What do you think? -- HOW SLOW SHOULD I GO

DEAR HOW SLOW SHOULD I GO: I think it is very sweet that you want to give a gift on her birthday. I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as it isn’t something too over the top. Flowers and a nice dinner might be a good compromise. Does she like amusement parks? Does she like museums? Do something fun for her birthday and treat her to a special day. Sometimes we put so much onus on what we think we should do for someone that we forget to let it unfold naturally. You seem like a thoughtful person to begin with, so just tune in the next time you are together and figure out what might make her day a little brighter. A little romance can go a long way!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Are you looking for a job? Networking with friends, colleagues and your social acquaintances may help to open up some doors you didn’t really notice before. Don’t be afraid to ask people to pass around your resume!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)