DEAR NATALIE: I'm having a hard time letting go of my daughter. She is in her early 20s, a very good kid, but I really don't like her boyfriend. We are an affluent family, and her boyfriend (they met at the university they were attending) takes advantage of her. I don't like that he stays overnight in the apartment that I bought her. I don't like that he doesn't really have much direction or a clear idea of what he will do for a career. I have gotten into discussions about this with my wife, who basically told me to stay out of it. But I think my daughter should be looking for a husband who can take care of her, keep her in the lifestyle she is used to and not be a leech. My wife says she has to figure this out on her own. Who's right? If I tell her he can't come to the apartment, my wife is worried that will drive a wedge between us. I love her, but I'm not happy with the choices she is making in terms of dating. Any advice? -- Mad Dad

DEAR MAD DAD: Growing up is hard to do -- especially for parents. While I understand that your intentions are well meaning, your daughter is not property. You chose to buy her an apartment, which was incredibly generous of you, but that doesn't give you the right to dictate her life from here on out. The idea that you want her to find a man who will take care of her is antiquated. Instead, why not encourage her to travel, help foster her independence, help her to take on new opportunities in her area of interests as opposed to encouraging her to husband hunt? Most likely this relationship is her first serious one, and the more you push her to dump him, the more she will cling to him. You won't win this one, dad. So, follow your wife's advice and back off. Most likely, she will figure things out on her own (because you raised her to have a mind of her own) and will be dating someone else that you won't like before you know it! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I have been together a few months now, and recently he has been acting really moody toward me. Cold, aloof and not as excited to see me. When I ask him what's wrong, he either ignores me or tells me I "wouldn't understand." I don't know what set this off. What should I do? My friends are telling me to dump him, but I like him (or I thought I did, but now I'm not sure). Any thoughts? -- Confused Gal

DEAR CONFUSED GAL: My grandma always says, "Weather someone in all four seasons before deciding to get serious about them." (She is full of awesome advice, clearly!) I would take her saying to heart. If you are already seeing red flags four months in, you have to decide -- do you want to go further down this path? People show you who they are, so believe them. If this guy is acting moody, aloof and uncommunicative, why do you think this would suddenly improve the longer you are with him? In fact, he probably feels more comfortable being this way around you because it has been a few months and he is showing you this other side to him. If the idea of walking on eggshells around someone doesn't appeal to you, listen to your friends and get out of this situation. If, however, you want to give him an opportunity to shape up, say something like, "While I respect your privacy and desire to work out whatever it is you are dealing with, I cannot be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to share their ups and downs with me. If you don't want to be with someone like that, maybe it's best if we go our separate ways." If that doesn't shake him up enough to talk with you, it's time to walk away. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Rejection is part of the game. Don't take it personally if someone brushes you off or just doesn't seem interested in who you are or what you have to offer. Those aren't the people who are worth networking with, anyway, so just politely excuse yourself from the conversation and it's on to the next! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

While the saying goes “you can’t pick your family,” you can pick how you want to respond to them, and in the world of soon-to-be bride (and royal) Meghan Markle, she is choosing to ignore those members of her family who seem hell-bent on smearing her in the press leading up to her fairy tale day. Maybe it’s jealousy? Perhaps it’s hurt feelings? Whatever the reason behind the venom spewing from her estranged half-sister and half-brother, it seems relentless.

This behavior in the tabloids started nice enough. Her older half-sister, Samantha Grant, stated months ago that she wished that they could reconnect during this happy time. But, those comments have since taken a different tone as it was recently reported when Prince Harry announced that 1,200 people will be able to watch the royal couple get married at Windsor Castle on Saturday. It was recommended that these people bring a picnic basket, to which Samantha tweeted: “Wow, do they get sent to dungeons if their children get grouchy and express that they’re hungry with no catering? Bring your own picnic basket? Really? Even low-budget film sets have roach coaches selling burgers and taquitos.”

If that wasn’t bad enough, Ms. Markle also has to contend with her older half-brother, Thomas Markle Jr., who recently penned an open letter to the royal family that was published in In Touch Weekly. He urged Prince Harry to reconsider marrying Ms. Markle, stating that “as more time passes to your royal wedding, it became very clear that this is the biggest mistake in royal wedding history,” the 51-year-old wrote. “Meghan Markle is obviously not the right woman for you.” He adds that she is a “jaded, shallow, conceited woman that will make a joke of you and the royal family heritage.” He says later in the letter that he isn’t “bitter just baffled” that he hadn’t received an invitation.

Well, gee, I wonder why? Even though some within the castle have reportedly advised the couple to invite the estranged family members to help squash the negative talk in the press, I don’t blame her one bit for sticking to her guns and refusing to allow such negativity near her on her special day. Weddings are stressful enough. There are so many political landmines to avoid in any wedding, let alone a royal one. Even if she wanted to relent and invite them, at this point it is too late. It would look like the only reason she would be including them is to appease them and stop the negative stories. Plus, can you imagine the dirt they would spill after the wedding to the press?

While that might delight the tabloids and bloggers, I can’t imagine that would be a great way to start a marriage. The tweets and letters put out by her half-siblings say a lot more about them than they do about Ms. Markle, and if my family members were saying things like that about me publicly, they would be put on the “do not invite list,” too.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Remember that line: “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold”? It applies to networking, as well. While new contacts can be exciting and keep things fresh, you never want to forget people who worked with you in the beginning. Nurture old relationships, too, because you never know what ideas you may be able to spark!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)