DEAR NATALIE: My ex and I have been separated for 12 years. We were never married, but we were in a long-term relationship, and she was the only woman I was ever with. Recently, I saw photos of her on Facebook with her daughter, who looked to be around 12 years old. The daughter resembles me. Should I reach out to her and see if this is my child? My friends are telling me no, but if I have a daughter, I want to be a part of her life. What do you think? -- Potential Father

DEAR POTENTIAL FATHER: This is a tricky situation, mostly because if you are the father, I would think that your ex would have reached out by now. I don't know why you broke up, but if she didn't feel comfortable asking or talking with you about this, there may be a reason on her end. However, it's understandable that you want to know whether you have a child. There is only one way to find out. If you don't have her contact information anymore, you can send her a private message on Facebook. You can either say something vague like, "I know it's been a long time, but I would like to talk to you about something. Can I call you this week?" and see what she says. Or, you could also be more direct and say, "I just saw a photo of you and your daughter on Facebook. Is there any chance that she could be my child?" She may be taken aback by this, or even insulted by you asking. You have to be prepared for silence from her, as well as a response that you may not want to hear. But, at least you'll know you tried to reach out to her rather than sitting around wondering, "What if?" 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have an intern working with me, and this person has a bad odor to them. It's not body odor, but more the smell of dirty feet. (I know, this is really gross). At first I thought I was imagining it, but now I can tell that it is definitely this person. It's to the point that I don't breathe out of my nose when this person is sitting near me. I'm really afraid my colleagues and the people who work under me are going to say something about it and hurt this person's feelings. Should I say something? I have no idea how to even bring something like that up! -- Smelly Situation

DEAR SMELLY SITUATION: As unpleasant as this smell is, addressing the issue may actually be more so. This person may not even realize that there is an issue, and my guess is that the smell is coming from his or her clothes, not necessarily him or her. In any case, you should pull the person aside and gently inform him or her before someone says something hurtful. The next time you are around the person and notice the "smell," ask if you can speak together for a minute. Then just be honest. Say you have noticed an odor and you are wondering whether maybe it is this person's clothes? This is going to make the person feel uncomfortable, to say the least, but I really don't see any other option. Home life, socioeconomic situation or cultural background could be playing a role in this, so please tread lightly. While the odor may offend you, the way you react to it could really hurt the person. So try and bring this up in a way that you would want to have someone talk to you about a delicate situation. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Your face says it all when networking with others. Are you holding back a yawn? Not making eye contact? Are you smiling and nodding, looking at them and engaged? Remember, it isn't just the words we say but the way in which we carry ourselves that can dictate the outcome of our encounters. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I used to be best friends with someone for almost 10 years. A few years ago, the relationship started getting toxic around the same time I started dating someone that lives about an hour from her.  This is significant because she lives about four hours from me. I used to try and spend time with both of them somewhat equally, but I would end up spending more time with him. The closer I got to him, the more left out she would feel.  I know that she somehow thinks that it’s his fault for "stealing" me away from her. She is also just a very bitter person.  She has tried to commit suicide a couple times in the past, but those attempts failed.  We haven't really spoken in the last three years since she moved to the south. I haven't spoken to her at all in the past year. Part of me wants to send her a letter telling her that I don't think I can be in her life, anymore.  Our lives are too different now, and I'm tired of her blaming me for it. I am afraid to end it with her formally because I don't want her to try suicide again. She now lives with her mom, stepdad, and her son. She has very few friends. What should I do? I need closure. -- AFRAID TO PULL THE PLUG 

DEAR AFRAID TO PULL THE PLUG: You should write her that letter. And then take it, crumble it up, burn it and let it all go. Clearly you have been distancing yourself for a long time now, and while it can be hard to let go of old friendships (even when they have become incredibly toxic) it doesn’t seem like you have much left to tether you to each other. Why send her a letter? What is the purpose? Considering how emotionally frail she is, it may not be in your best interest or hers for you to “break up” with her. If you haven’t even spoken to her in a year, that says enough about the state of things. She doesn’t live near you, you don’t seem to have anything to communicate about, why not just let it be? Maybe you don’t like the idea of there being unfinished business or an open door, but what is the harm in just leaving things the way they are? Don’t stir it up for just the drama. She has enough of that in her life. Take into account one of my favorite quotes: “As hard as it is to be around her, imagine how hard it must be to be her.”  Dig deep and find your empathy.

DEAR NATALIE: What’s worse? Emotional or physical infidelity? --QUESTIONING

DEAR QUESIONING: Without knowing the context, I would say both have their issues, but for me personally, emotional infidelity would be worse. I think I could get over *one* bad physical decision by my partner, but emotional infidelity would run deeper for me. I wouldn’t like the idea of a connection being made on a level like that. But, some people would say that infidelity really only counts if it is physical cheating. So does pornography count? Do webcams count? What about texting flirtatious or salacious messages? All of this becomes incredibly grey because of technology. There really are no hard and fast rules on any of this, so the best thing to do is to make sure that you are on the same page as your partner. A good place to start? If you wouldn’t say it or do it with them in the room, then you might be playing with fire. And some people like that... until they get burned. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: What are your goals with networking? Are you trying to make contacts to find a new job? To find new groups to socialize with? Once you establish your reasons for networking, that will help you in defining your relationships with new connections.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga: nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga 358 North Shore Dr. Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)