DEAR NATALIE: I have this friend who copies everything I do. I know I should feel flattered, but I don't. I'm super annoyed. And it's probably because she lies and contradicts herself and doesn't listen to me when I talk. I reluctantly pray for her every night, but I can't seem to make peace. How do I love her, keep my identity and get her off my back? She adores me, and that makes me feel worse. Almost everything about her makes me feel bad, but I can't just cut her out because she has wedged herself in my life. I feel as if she's cramping my style. What should I do? -- No Copies, Please

DEAR NO COPIES, PLEASE: This is borderline creepy. It sounds as though she hasn't really "discovered" who she is yet and that she is a very insecure person. Instead of cultivating her own interests, taking her own risks and doing things that make sense in her life, she has decided to wear your story to see how it fits. In this situation, considering how uncomfortable you have become, it may be a good time to take a step back. Don't answer her calls or texts quite as often. Perhaps change the settings on your social media accounts (or go off them for a bit) to hide information from her. If she wants to know why, explain to her that you want to talk with her, but you have a hard time feeling as though you are being heard. If she continues to prod, ask her how she would feel if someone did the following to her - and then list all of the ways she is copying your lifestyle. Something may finally click in her head that she needs to take it down a notch. 

While it is admirable that you pray for her and want her in your life, sometimes you have to give the universe a hand in making positive changes for yourself. And in this case, if she is bringing you down, bringing you anxiety and not adding to your life in a positive way, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. 

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

DEAR NATALIE: I recently got engaged to a girl that I have been dating for only 6 months. I felt a lot of pressure from my family and her family to propose. She is already dress shopping and wants to pick a venue this week. However, I am really mad at myself for proposing and wishing I could take it back. How do I back out of this before things get out of control? I know she isn’t “the one”. I should have broken it off before it got this far. --BAD DECISION

DEAR BAD DECISION: You have no choice except to tell her the truth. She’s going to be upset, naturally, but better to tell her now then down the road after the venue is booked, dress paid for and honeymoon planned. You also need to take a look in the mirror and think about why you were so easily pushed into doing this. Take some time to date yourself for a while. Find out who you are, and who you want to be. Stand in your own convictions or I’m afraid you are going to a live a “yes man” kind of existence that won’t make you happy or fulfilled. Getting married is one of the most important decisions of your life and you were steamrolled by pushy people. Work on standing up for yourself. When the right woman comes along, you won’t need badgered into this experience, you will want to go through this journey together. Until then, it’s time to own your mistake and move forward separately.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Try not to eat food at cocktail parties while you are trying to meet and interact with people. While it is great that there is a lot of food at these events to nibble on, no one wants to talk to people with garlic breath or with spinach wedged in their tooth. Save the snacking for after the networking!

(Have a question for Natalie? Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to 358 North Shore Drive Pittsburgh, PA 15212.)

DEAR NATALIE: My wife insists that I spend a lot of time with her family, but we have been married for seven months now and she still won’t hang out with my family. My sister is really hurt by this and told me I need to talk to my wife. What should I do? --MAN IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAN'T WIN: I don’t think it is very fair that your wife gets to have her way all the time. Marriage is all about compromise, and while life is never 50/50 (sometimes, 80/20 depending on the day of the week) the pendulum needs to swing in your direction once in a while in order for things to stay somewhat equal. The next time she wants you to hang out with her family, I would say something like, “That would be fun! I’ll invite my sister and see if she wants to join us.” If she balks at this, say, “Well then next weekend let’s all do something together. I’ll see if my parents can come, too.” If she refuses still, you need to find out what the problem really is. Did someone upset her? Does she think that they don’t like her? Is she intimidated by them? Whatever the reason is, get to the bottom of it now and nip this nonsense in the bud. Family is family and she shouldn’t expect you to drop everything for hers but be able to ignore yours. Not cool.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I am invited to the wedding of a close friend. The guest list also includes a man with whom I had a serious fling of sorts. I'm worried about being seated at the same table as him. I'm concerned because we have not spoken in quite awhile. The last time we did speak, things did not go very well. I want to say I would be on my best behavior, but I'm not sure I can make that promise. And I'm not sure he could, either. The bride and groom are aware of the situation. I hate to back out of going, but I would really hate to ruin anybody's celebration with our bad blood. Any advice? -- No Promises

DEAR NO PROMISES: While I don't know exactly what happened between the two of you, it sounds as though neither of you have really let "it" go. You have three options: 1. Don't go to the wedding and resign yourself to letting your emotions control your life and decisions you make. 2. Go to the wedding and keep your distance from him. I doubt that the bride and groom would seat you near each other with such bad blood. This may be something you talk to the bride about, and it sounds as though you are close enough to do so. Request sitting as far from him as possible and do not engage him. 3. Contact him before the event and try to resolve this. I don't mean you have to be friendly but make a pact not to engage with one another so as not to disrupt an otherwise wonderful event. 

I would go with No. 2 and have a good look in the mirror before leaving for the party. Who is in control here? If you are in control of your own life, that means taking ownership of your feelings, acknowledging them ... and then let them pass over you. Realize that after this night, you never have to look at him again. So brush him off and have some fun. (Also, don't drink too much ... emotions take over when the champagne starts flowing!) 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: What are your arms doing while you are talking to someone? If your arms are folded, they may be signaling that you are feeling defensive or bored. If you are playing with your hair or picking your nails, it may come off as anxious or flighty. Try keeping them tucked behind you while you listen, which shows interest and engagement.