DEAR NATALIE: My ex-husband is making my life a living hell. The kids live with me full time, but he sees them a few times every month. He has complained to me that he wants more time with them, but the children (ages 10, 12, 16) told me they don't want to be with him. They said his house is "boring" and all they do is "watch TV." I told him this, and he accused me of lying and keeping our kids away. The courts are involved, of course, but it is beyond that. I just want him to leave us alone. Is there any way I can get him to stop bothering me about seeing the kids more? Can't he take a hint? We've been divorced for two years now, and it isn't any better than when it happened. (A little backstory: He left me for someone else, and they live together now. I'm not thrilled about my kids being around her, either.) -- Over It

DEAR OVER IT: I wonder if some of your anger and resentment is due to the fact that he cheated on you. Two years may seem like a long time, but when the wound never has a chance to heal properly, it may come back to aggravate you. But at the end of the day, this isn't about you and him. It's about a father seeing his children. They may act annoyed or bored, but they need their dad. As long as he isn't being abusive, you should encourage them to have a relationship with him on a regular basis. It can be hard to take the high road, but think of it this way: As your children grow up and start relationships and families of their own, do you want them to see dysfunction and use that as a set of guidelines, or do you want them to see that even in tough times you can rise above and be the best version of yourself? Try not to let your personal feelings about your ex cloud your opinion of his abilities as a father. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: If people you are asking advice or guidance from are meeting you, make the location convenient for them, offer to buy their coffee or lunch, and follow up with a thank-you email or card. A little appreciation can go a long way! 

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend has always dated girls with big breasts. I, however, was not exactly “blessed” in that department, but it hasn’t ever really bothered me. He recently made a comment about how he would love it if I would get implants. He even offered to pay for them. Since then, I have been feeling incredibly self-conscious and I feel that if I don’t get them, he may break up with me. What do I do? -- DOUBLE “D” WANNABE 

DEAR DOUBLE “D” WANNABE: You know I think “D” stands for? Dump him. Seriously, why are you wasting another second even considering this? If you wanted them for yourself that would be a different story. But the fact that he is making such a “big” deal about this (sorry about the bad pun) is a total turn off. You are much more than the sum of your parts and at the end of the day, don’t you want to be with someone who appreciates you just as you are and respects your bodily autonomy? If you open this door, what’s next? Nose job? Butt implants? The chase after what he wants will never end. Society puts enough pressure on all of us, you don’t need to come home to that nonsense, as well. The only thing I would change is your phone number so he can’t call you again. “A” is for arrivederci!

DEAR NATALIE: My partner and I (of two years) rarely fight, but one topic that continues to wedge in between us is our political views. He is very conservative and I am much more progressive. We got into a big argument over dinner the other night after I told him that I was asked to be in a wedding where one of my closest guy friends is about to marry his long time boyfriend. He has hung out with my friends a million times and always seemed to enjoy their company, but he refuses to come to their “sham” wedding, as he put it. The conversation exploded into a major blow out, with him calling me a “liberal idiot”. We haven’t spoken in three days. He has called me but I refuse to answer the phone. I am still hurt, angry and disgusted by his response to my friends’ pending nuptials. I thought we would go to the wedding together and have a great time, but now, I am embarrassed at even the thought of bringing him there. What do I do? -- A VERY BLUE STATE 

DEAR A VERY BLUE STATE: This is the moment when you realize that sometimes love just ain’t enough. It isn’t enough to love someone for it to work long term. You both must have the same vision for the future. Now, this is not to say that you can’t have very different beliefs, but how do you both want to live? For two years you have been able to co-exist in harmony, but maybe it was because you hadn’t been tested yet by the external forces of the world. His reaction to attending a wedding of two men that knows and has socialized with was over the top. But, we can’t control what people do, we can only control how we respond to it. So, you have a choice to make. You can call him back and say something like: “I am still feeling really hurt and disgusted by what happened the other night. I don’t know why you reacted like that, but I won’t be able to move forward until you apologize and promise me that you will be more open-minded and discuss these issues with respect and civility.” You can also call him and say, “Talk to me like that again and it’s over. O-V-E-R.” Whatever you decide to do, remember that you have to look in the mirror and respect the person you see looking back at you. If he continues with these emotionally abusive outbursts, I wouldn’t wait around to see how bad it can get. And regardless of whether or not he goes, have a lot of fun at that wedding and celebrate love! 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: With so many networking groups out there, how do you know which one is right for you? Why pick? You can network-hop by trying a different one each month and rotate all of the different ones you come across. With more variety, you are bound to meet all kinds of people who can enrich your professional and personal life, too.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga via email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My daughter and I have always had a good relationship until recently. She is 15 now, and I feel as if we can't relate, I can't say anything without setting her off, and she just doesn't want me around (unless she needs something, of course). Her mother and I divorced when she was small, and I worry that her mother brainwashes her into thinking I am some awful father. I have always been there for her, always given her everything she has needed, but I just want to have a better relationship together where we don't end up screaming at each other. Not my idea of a fun weekend. Any suggestions on how to navigate the world of a teenage girl? -- Sad Dad

DEAR SAD DAD: Wait it out. During these teenage years, sometimes no matter what you say, it is going to be the wrong thing. While you may feel frustrated about her relationship with her mother and what she may be saying when you aren't around, you can't control it. In fact, when you are together, just show her who you are as a person. Encourage her to open up to you by keeping the door to communication open, but try not to pry too much into her life. Sometimes people say things that they don't mean, but it hurts nonetheless. 

The next time she starts going at you, take a deep breath and tell her that you love her, but you are taking a timeout. This isn't how you speak to each other, and until she can calmly tell you what she needs, you won't engage her in conversation. On the topic of money, it may be better to start an allowance system where she helps you with chores or earns points for "good behavior." There are lots of behavioral charts online that can help you get started. This way she isn't just expecting money, she is earning it, which can teach her some responsibility along the way. And fear not! Your relationship will improve as she gets older, but for now just remind yourself that this is a temporary place, and you will make it through. 

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212