DEAR NATALIE: I am a first generation Chinese-American woman in her late 20s. My parents always pushed for a big career for me, and nothing short of perfect was ever good enough. Well, up until six months ago, I was working as a very successful engineer consultant. The job was rough, however, and I was constantly traveling all around the United States for clients. I was completely burned out after several years of this work. So, I secretly quit and went back to become a pilates instructor. I absolutely love it. However, neither of my parents know yet. In my family, it is typical to hide feelings, keep emotions bottled inside and not talk about things that are bothering us. I didn't tell them I quit because I didn't want them to be angry. Sometimes, I wish I was another ethnicity - one that lets it all out! What should I do? I fly home to visit them next week, and I'm terrified of their reaction. -- The Switch Up

DEAR THE SWITCH UP: Coming from an Italian-American family, I'm sure my relatives wish each other would not let it all out from time to time! All kidding aside, family dynamics can be tricky no matter what your background, each having their own quirks to work through. In your situation, it must not be easy to express your own interests and desires. Your family looked at your financial stability and professional success as the American dream come true. So, no wonder you feel intimidated and nervous to be honest with them. But hiding your life is no way to live either. While familial acceptance is important, nothing beats owning who you are. Take them out for dinner when you visit and frame the conversation in the context of what is bringing you happiness. Explain to them that this change has impacted you for the best. Talk to them about your plans and let them know that their love and support are what you need right now. They may be angry, confused or hurt, but remind them that you are an adult and you just want to be fulfilled in your own life. If it takes them a while to accept this, that's OK. You know how they react, so mentally prepare yourself for whatever is coming your way, but remind yourself that at the end of the day, you're the one that has to look in the mirror and like what you see. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have been thinking about becoming vegan for a while for health reasons. I am overweight, and my doctor said to me that I am pre-diabetic. I want to avoid future health complications. What are your thoughts on this as a lifestyle option? -- Fresh Start

DEAR FRESH START: Let me start by saying how exciting it is to hear that you want to take control of your health with a plant-based diet. Before you begin any diet regimen, talk to your doctor first about whether you have any health issues that would be incompatible with this type of diet. I have been practicing a vegan lifestyle for almost seven years, but it's all about baby steps. Start small with just one plant-based meal every few days to get the feel for it. Then try "meat-free Mondays" or "dairy-free Thursdays" and go from there. Learn a few recipes from blogs like my favorite, "Oh She Glows." A vegan diet can be incredibly healthful (and yes, you can get all the protein you need). Check out the book, "The China Study" to learn more. Try new foods at least twice before you make a decision about whether you like them or not. Be kind to yourself, and remember, it's just food. Every meal is a chance to start again. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Networking is not a life or death situation. While we may feel uncomfortable making conversation with people we don't know, remember that everyone is at the event for the same reason. So, take a deep breath, focus on a positive outcome, find common ground and start connecting! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: It was my good fortune to marry a wonderful woman recently. A friend of several decades, who would certainly have been invited to the ceremony and dinner, made it known to me that he and his wife would be out of town on the day of the wedding. Consequently I did not send the couple an invitation as I did not want it to be seen as a means to prompt a gift, something that my wife and I discouraged as this is a second marriage for both of us. From interaction that we have had since, I have the impression that my friend feels slighted to have received no invitation. Did I do the right thing? -- ETIQUETTE MATTERS

DEAR ETIQUETTE MATTERS: In this case, I would feel slighted, too. Just because they couldn’t attend, that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t want to be invited. I would have sent the invite with a note inside saying something like: “We know you cannot make it, but we wanted you to know that we would have loved for you to have been there!” Now that it is over, just broach the subject with him and say something like this: “I feel like you may be upset that you didn’t receive an invite. We obviously wanted you and your wife there but didn’t want you to feel obligated to send a gift knowing you couldn’t come. That was my only intention behind not sending you an invitation. I hope you know how much we care about both of you and enjoy having you in our lives. I’m sorry if I made you feel badly.” He will probably be touched that you recognized and acknowledged his feelings, and hopefully you can then move forward and into a better place.

DEAR NATALIE: I have been married for 22 years. We have two boys who are the loves of my life. But, my husband and I are very disconnected and are constantly fighting. There is so much tension in the house, and I don’t know how to remedy it. We have tried couples therapy, but my husband always seems to shift our problems entirely on to me, which isn’t fair. He didn’t want to continue working on our relationship. While our children were growing up, I was the one raising them while he would undermine any disciplinary actions I would take. A lot of resentment and anger have built up, and to make it worse, my sons often gang up on me about the relationship. My husband is very critical of me, and I can never seem to do anything right. Can we save our marriage? I feel as though he doesn’t even try, and he won’t go to individual counseling, either, even though I have. -- ON THE ROCKS

DEAR ON THE ROCKS: You cannot dance alone. You cannot be in a relationship by yourself. If you are willing to do the work and he isn’t, then what are you trying to hold on to? I really don’t like that your sons are now following in this toxic pattern of behavior that your husband has started. Sounds as though he has emotionally abused you for years, and you feel as though you can’t leave, that you aren’t worthy of love. But you are. Even if you don’t believe that yet, you are worthy. Stop talking to your therapist about your relationship with your husband and instead focus on your relationship with yourself. Then, contact a divorce attorney. There is no reason to live miserably ever after.

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Networking can feel so sterile, so think of it as just making meaningful connections with like-minded people. That may take away the nerves and relieve anxiety around the concept.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)