DEAR NATALIE: I have a "friend with benefits." We have tried to keep things as uncomplicated as possible, and it was working really well until recently. One of his siblings suddenly died in an accident. He and his family are devastated. But, because of the nature of our relationship, I have pulled away, fearing that we will complicate things if I get too involved. He told me the other day that I was being "heartless" and "cold." I was just trying to give him space and not make it worse. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I don't want to get sucked into a relationship with him, either. How can I be there for him without that happening? -- Lost Benefits

DEAR LOST BENEFITS: These are those times in life when you should change your Facebook status to "it's complicated" because it is. While you may have hoped for an easy non-relationship (with all of the perks and none of the problems), the reality is life is messy. I understand why he called you cold and heartless, considering that you are pulling away from him in one of the most vulnerable moments of his life. But I see how you are trying to distance yourself as to not complicate things further. Your best bet -- if you want to salvage any type of relationship with him moving forward -- is to be there for him emotionally right now, but not physically. No more late-night hangouts until things have settled down. If he needs a shoulder to cry on, make it clear that you care about him but don't want him to think that you are anything besides ... well ... what are you exactly? If you want to be physically intimate with someone, you have to be prepared for the emotional intimacy that comes along for the ride (no pun intended). So take a physical step back but answer his texts and calls because what he needs most right now is a friend ... not a lover.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My friends and I are debating about something. They all wear their engagement rings to their professional-level jobs, while I choose to just wear my plain wedding band. They think I am nuts, but as a young professional woman, I find that I am taken more seriously at work without it. I feel that my employers will think that if I am wearing a flashy ring, it is a sign to them that I don't really need this job, that my husband can take care of me, and they will pass me over for promotions and such. I work really hard and want to be taken just as seriously as the men around me. Do you think this is crazy (like my friends do), or do you understand my dilemma -- Ring Problems

DEAR RING PROBLEMS: No I don't think you are crazy at all. In fact, I've never thought of this as a possible dilemma, but I could see why it would work against you in certain fields to "show off" a glitzy rock. It could be looked at as frivolous or, as you said, make them take you less seriously. Even though women always have been a part of the workforce, sexism (yes, I said it) always has existed in obvious and subtle forms. And while you can be both married and in the workforce, I can understand your underlying concern of being overlooked for promotions and such because of that fact (even though it is 2015 not 1915). I don't see anything wrong with playing down your personal life while at the office. You aren't hiding the fact that you are married, but you aren't flaunting your personal life or wealth while there, either. It is a savvy strategy, and if your office seems old-school enough for this to even be a thought in your mind, then you are doing what is best for your career trajectory. Your girlfriends just may not understand. So, just agree to disagree on this one.

DEAR NATALIE: It's been a little over six years since my husband died from cancer. I feel ready to date, my kids are out of the house, and I want to start a new chapter. I'm not yet 60 and feel I have a lot of life to live. But, my kids are not happy about me dating. My daughters (ages 22 and 25) feel as though I should wait longer, that it is somehow a betrayal. I've gone on a few dates in the past year, but the girls made me feel so guilty about it that I just stopped. I'm lonely, however, and I want to get out there. How do I do this without hurting my girls? -- Left Behind

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Your girls are being selfish. They are both out of the house, living their own lives, and they have the audacity to guilt you into a nun-like existence for the rest of your life? No thanks. I'm very sorry to hear that your husband died. It must have been incredibly hard on all of you, but you are still here. You took care of your family, and now you are on your own. And they want you to be alone because to them it's a betrayal to have dinner with another man? Only you know the relationship you had with your husband, but any loving spouse would not want to see his or her partner be lonely forever. You are allowed to find a new kind of happiness. It doesn't take away from the love you had with your husband. Your girls need to know that, but you also need to make it clear that now is the time for them to support you in this new chapter of your life.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Please don't overshare. When you first meet someone, the nerves can make it easy to just keep talking, but you don't want to tell your whole life story in the first five minutes. Keep your conversation upbeat and friendly and don't forget to ask questions! Networking is about building rapport, after all.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My mom and I have been at odds about my new boyfriend. He and I have been together about five months. He is a lot younger than I am. I’m 31, and he’s 24. We are in love and talking marriage, and my mom says that he is way too young to marry me. She also worries that he is taking advantage of me. He is an actor and is living with me, taking auditions and working odd jobs. I told her that this is the time he should be trying to go for his dreams. I work in health care and have a stable income, so it doesn’t matter to me. What do you think? Should I put wedding plans on hold because of her, or should we get married and tell her after the fact? -- WILLING TO ELOPE

DEAR WILLING TO ELOPE: Slow your roll for just a second. Let’s back this love bus up. First, as my grandma always says, “You should weather someone a year before you make a decision about them.” Let’s see what he’s like for the next seven months before eloping. Second, mothers are often forces in our lives that can seem bothersome, but in actuality, they are the only ones willing to hold up the mirror. Put aside your annoyance at her and try to think about what she is saying. Assuming she wants the best for you, maybe it’s worth thinking this through. Right now you are in the “I’m so in love and I don’t care who knows it!” phase. This is awesome, congrats, but let’s see what happens when the rose-colored glasses are taken off. Does he contribute to your household? Maybe he can’t pay his half of the rent, but are there other things he does to help you? How does he treat you? I appreciate that he wants to pursue his acting dreams and that you support that, but have you thought about what lifestyle that will mean? Lots of travel, lots of temptation, and he’s only 24. My advice? Listen to your mama. Take a minute. Think this through. Don’t do anything that involves paperwork and see what happens a year from now.

DEAR NATALIE: I recently was asked to be in a large bridal party for one of my dearest friends. I don’t get along great with some of the other girls, and a few of them (let’s call them Lila and Molly) are taking the reins on the bridal shower. They want to have this big, over-the-top party for her, and I offered to help. They haven’t really given me any of the details, and when I asked for a break down of what they were going to spend, they called me “cheap” and said, “This is your best friend’s special day. You shouldn’t ask about money.” Well, I think I have every right to ask about the money considering they want me to pay for a third of it. Why can’t all the bridesmaids chip in? There are nine of us! That would reduce the cost substantially and make it easier to share the work. But Lila and Molly want total control, and I don’t know what to do. Obviously, I don’t want the bride to find any of this out but not sure what to do? -- BRIDAL SHOWER SNAFU

DEAR SHOWER SNAFU: You are not cheap. You are reasonable. What’s not reasonable is the fact that two of these ladies think it’s cool to plan everything secretly and not give you a breakdown of costs. Because this is a delicate situation and you don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama, tell them: “I won’t be financially contributing until I see a breakdown of costs. I’m willing to give a portion of the total, but until I know what it is and why we are spending what we are spending, I can’t give you anything.” Or, another way is to just offer them a flat amount like: I’m happy to pitch in $100. It’s what I’m comfortable with. Why don’t we ask the other bridesmaids if they could offer something as well to reduce costs for everyone?” If they are aghast at that notion, wash your hands of this whole thing and say, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to plan together if you can’t completely include me.” See if they change their tune. But whatever you do, don’t repeat this to the bride. She doesn’t need this petty nonsense clouding her special day!

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Use social media to your advantage. Connect with potential contacts in various ways like direct messaging, comments and “likes.” Giving them little reminders that you are around and supportive of what they do can facilitate relationships in “real” life, too.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)