DEAR NATALIE: My fiance and I got into a big fight about Valentine’s Day approaching. I (made a joke) saying that after this Valentine’s Day, I wouldn’t have to make much of an effort to date her once we were married or do anything romantic. She got really upset and now is having second thoughts about marrying me. Our wedding is this fall. Isn’t it a little silly to celebrate something like this once you’ve already tied the knot? At what point can we honestly stop dating and just settle into a married life? -- RIDICULOUS ROMANCE

DEAR RIDICULOUS ROMANCE: I’m going to assume you have your holidays confused and you are sending me this letter as a April Fools’ joke because no man that wants to stay married thinks that he can stop “dating” his wife and everything still come up roses. But my question for you is why do you want to stop dating in the first place? Dating is fun. It’s nice to go to a restaurant and talk over candlelight. It’s nice to go to a museum in the middle of the day, or a sporting event on the weekend together. It’s fun to catch a movie after happy hour and have a laugh together. Pull yourself together and recognize that dating your soon-to-be wife is one of best things you can do for your relationship and for your own mental health. Stop being so lazy and get in the mood for love. And if you aren’t, why the heck are you marrying her in the first place?

DEAR NATALIE: My friend is a really sweet woman, attractive and easy to be around. She is 25 years old and literally hasn’t been kissed up until recently. She claims she has focused all of her energy and time into school and work over the years, and didn’t have a burning desire to meet men or to date. Well, all of that changed recently when she actually met a man that she liked. They went out on a few dates and finally, she got that very first kiss. But it wasn’t good. In fact, the guy remarked to her that he hadn’t realized that literally she had never been kissed. I guess he thought she was exaggerating. Well, this has made her feel incredibly insecure. He never texted her back (this happened a month or so ago) and now she is convinced that she’ll never be kissed again. She’s been really depressed. I feel so badly for her. What can I do to help? -- KISS KISS BABY

DEAR KISS KISS BABY: Short of practicing with her and this turning into a “racy” late ‘90s rom-com starring Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar, I think the best thing you can do for her is just be her friend. Kissing, dating, intimacy...these topics aren’t easy for everyone to discuss or engage in. There could also be some underlying issues that you may not be aware of. There may be things she isn’t willing or ready to share that could have happened to her when she was younger, making her uneasy about men and dating. Or, this could be just a strange batch of events that took place, leading her to the point of never being kissed. But, the worst is over. She had her first kiss, and whether or not it was good or bad, it’s behind her  now. Even though she probably feels like a romantic pariah, I would remind her that it’s always awkward at first, but at least she doesn’t have to tell anyone moving forward that she’s never been kissed. That guy could have played into that idea, making it out to be worse than it really was. Don’t put any pressure on her, but gently encourage her to get back out there when she is ready. After all, practice makes perfect (and who doesn’t love to practice kissing?).

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Since Valentine’s Day is upon us, think about the people in your life who may not have as many visitors or relationships any more. Grandparents, great aunts and uncles or friends need a pick-me-up, too. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to stop by with some flowers, a box of candy or even just a handwritten note and spend some time reaffirming your love and appreciation for them.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My female best friend and I ended our friendship about a month ago. I was frustrated at her not making time to go out with me, but she always had time to go out with a few other friends. I felt it took way too much effort for her to go out. ... When [we] did, she always brought along someone else. I didn't have an issue with it, but there were times I felt just she and I needed to hang out and connect or talk about things going on. In the fall, I had lent her money after she lost her job (not expecting to get it back although she promised to repay). So now I'm over it. Do I still ask for the money back and can I take her off my Netflix account? -- Feeling Slighted

DEAR SLIGHTED: Sorry to hear about the demise of your friendship. Sounds like you were close friends, so I'm curious as to what happened. Was it just that she didn't make enough time for you or was there something deeper brewing? It almost sounds as though she was avoiding spending alone time with you for a reason. Perhaps she was concerned you were becoming too close and she wanted to put up some boundaries? 

In any case, it is never easy when a friendship goes through a rough patch. If I were you, I would follow up via email (always good to have things in writing) telling her that she had promised to pay you back. Even though you are no longer friends, she should honor the commitment that she made to you in her time of need and respect your past relationship enough to reimburse you. I wouldn't hold my breath, however, but at least you can say that you tried. If nothing comes from it, just let it go. 

I also would take her off the Netflix account, but let her know that you are doing it. 

Even though the friendship has iced over, things can remain civil (which can open the door to perhaps mending the friendship). Sometimes we just need a break from people, and perhaps you will both circle around again. Good luck!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Feeling anxious about going to an event alone? Offer to help at the event. (Nine times out of 10, organizations can always use an extra hand!) This can reduce your nerves along with giving you a reason to be at the event talking to people (i.e. you check them into the event or volunteer to help with auction items). It's a great way to make conversation while giving back at the same time. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My father is extremely attached to his small dog and won't travel without it. He finds sitters for his other dogs but will not let this one leave his side. My husband and I both have allergies, keep a very clean home and have never had any pets inside. I've explained to my father that while I would love to have him visit, he cannot bring his dog. He recently showed up at my house (several hours away) for my baby shower with his dog. My husband and I were shocked. How do I get him to understand that I'm not trying to be rude, but I need him to abide by our wishes? -- NO PETS ALLOWED

DEAR NO PETS ALLOWED: Clearly your father has an attachment to this dog for a reason. Perhaps it's filling an emotional void? You didn't mention your mother -- are they divorced or is he a widower? Animals, especially with older people, can be a source of companionship, can ease pain (both physical and emotional) and can reduce anxiety. Can you deal with it? How long is he going to stay? A week? A weekend? Surely you can find a way to keep the dog in the home so that it is of little burden to you while making your father happy. Perhaps the dog can stay in his bedroom or he could keep him in a carrier. You sound as though you are someone who would clean the bedroom before and after your father visits, so if your allergies aren't life-threatening, could you stand to be uncomfortable for a few days? Sometimes, we want to have things our way, but when you look at the big picture is it really worth the fight? Clearly you love your dad, so I am sure you can come up with a compromise.

DEAR NATALIE: Where are all the single, successful men? -- Panicked in Pittsburgh

DEAR PANICKED IN PITTSBURGH: Assuming you have exhausted the options of online dating or sitting in the Shadyside Whole Foods cafe and just waiting, try finding guys IRL (in real life). With the crazy hours people work, it can be difficult to find guys outside the office pool. Join an organization. From the arts to charities to sports, there are a million ways to get out there and meet men with a common interest. Joining the Pittsburgh Urban Magnet Project (pump.org) might be the ticket - it reaches 25,000 young people in Pittsburgh through social service, advocacy projects and a robust sports league. If you don't have the time for that, attend some social events in your areas of interest. Check out my social registry in the Seen column online (post-gazette.com/life/seen) for upcoming events. Put yourself out there, broaden your idea of "successful" and see what happens. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: "You're never fully dressed without a smile." A friendly face will encourage people to approach you when at events, making it easier and more likely that you will walk away with new professional contacts and even a new friend. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)