DEAR NATALIE: My 20-year-old daughter is dating a man more than twice her age! She isn’t even old enough to drink yet. I don’t understand why she needs to date a 41-year-old. I don’t approve of this relationship, and we have been fighting about it ever since I said something a few months ago. Now she wants to move in with him. I feel as though I need to say, “It’s either him or your family.” What should I do? -- ANGRY MOM

DEAR ANGRY MOM: Tread lightly here. Your daughter is an adult now (albeit a young one) and giving her an ultimatum most likely won’t help the situation. I know this isn’t ideal, but take a deep breath and a step back. Saying “It’s either him or us” is only going to push her further into his arms and away from you. Instead, try acceptance (if only momentarily) so that you can figure out what is really going on. If he is treating her well, what can you do? And if he isn’t treating her well, if he is controlling or unkind, then creating a place for her is even more important. Keep an open mind for now, and an open door for later.

DEAR NATALIE: My 15-year-old daughter is starting to get a little heavy and isn’t as active as she should be. The other day I suggested it wouldn’t hurt her to get off the couch and move a bit, which of course exploded into a fight about her being “fat.” She was crying and asking me if I really thought she was fat and I didn’t want to lie. I felt I needed to tell her that I was getting concerned that she had put on some weight. Now she isn’t speaking to me. I’m not sure how to handle this. Any thoughts? -- DIET DISASTER

DEAR DIET DISASTER: I’m wondering whether this is really her issue or your issue. Up until you pointed it out her, it didn’t seem to occur to her that she was “getting fat.” If her weight isn’t a health issue and more of a vanity issue, why you are so involved? Did you have a hard time growing up and want her to avoid some of the problems you faced, perhaps bullying or feeling insecure in your own body? Instead of chastising her -- which will probably only cause her to eat more -- why not engage with her on things that are empowering and meaningful? If she likes to write or enjoys music or painting or sports, find something you can do together that has nothing to do with talking about her weight. Later, incorporate some fun physical activities you can share. Frame them as just things to do together and not as “working out” or “slimming down.” Being a teenage girl is r-o-u-g-h and the world outside is harsh enough. Her body is changing and the last thing she needs is her mother making her feel less than. Be a part of what uplifts her, not what tears her down. 

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: Looking for a way to connect with new friends? I was invited recently to a macaroon making party and while our pastries weren’t beautiful, the fun banter and shared experience was bonding. Food can be a great way to connect, so have a few new friends over and see what you can whip up!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I enjoyed your etiquette column on how to behave at the theater. Please follow up your etiquette at public events with a Pirates home game guide to behaving like decent humans in public and not drunken fools! Thanks! -- LETSGOBUCS 

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: It's as though you can read my mind! I was at the recent opener, and while it was a great time, I was verbally harassed while trying to enter the ballgame, and one guy even tried to grope me. I've also been to games where I was followed to my car by drunken guys who were tailgating and was "cat-called." It doesn't exactly make me want to go out to the ballgame. So here are a few tips for how to handle your beer, your hands and yourself in public. 1. Drink beer in between bottles of water. This way you won't be slurring your words by 11 a.m. 2. Your hands belong either alongside your body, inside a foam finger or in your pockets. They do not belong on any part of me or anyone else walking by. Ever. 3. Getting inside someone's personal space can be scary, especially when you are drunk and spitting on the person you are feebly attempting to flirt with. No one is interested in what you have to say at that moment. Stop it. 4. Screaming and making animal noises as women pass by is gross and demoralizing. Stop it. 5. I saw a fight break out before the game even began. There are children and families attending, and we all need to respect each other. Whatever he said to you that caused your chest to puff up, take a deep breath, count to 10, drink some water and let ... it ... go. 6. Do not follow anyone in the parking lot as she tries to leave. This is scary stuff, and it is not OK. I don't think men realize how awful it can be for a woman to walk to her vehicle as drunk guys make really vulgar comments. Follow these simple (and incredibly easy instructions), and we will all have a great time at the ball game! 

DEAR NATALIE: There is a woman my sister went to high school with named Lucy (not her real name). She's about four years younger than I am (I'm in my late 40s). I believe Lucy is divorced. She has two children. Her one child is on the autism spectrum. Lucy and I have been talking for several years, off and on, via Facebook mostly. We get very personal. She likes that I'm a sweet, gentle guy. Maybe it's because her ex is an abusive jerk? I go on and off Facebook, but whenever I get on with a new account, we chat for a few weeks, but then she blocks me. Then I get back on with a new account, and we talk again, as if nothing happened. She's said she loves me numerous times. I truly could love this woman. But I don't know why she runs and abandons me. The last time she blocked me, she texted me to say that she is miserable in life and that I deserve better. She suffers from depression. We have yet to actually meet and have a real date. I don't understand why not. I have asked her several times in text if she has a man in her life, but she never replies. My sister says just forget her. But I think she's beautiful. What should I do? -- NICE (BUT ALONE) GUY 

DEAR NICE (BUT ALONE) GUY: Sounds to me like the classic "chase me but don't catch me" scenario. This woman is in need of some male attention but from a distance. Perhaps it is because taking care of a child with special needs is exhausting and leaves very little time for romance. Perhaps she is still reeling from her abusive past and is afraid that (even though you seem nice) you may turn on her. Or perhaps she has no interest in ever pursuing you for real -- she just likes the chase. Whatever the reason, I don't like that she is leading you on by telling you that she loves you. I don't like it when people throw that word around. To me, love is an action word. Talk is cheap, after all, so show your love ... don't just say the words. This reminds me a lot of that MTV show "Catfish," where people fall in love online with people who turn out to be frauds. Don't waste anymore time on her. Make room for real love by letting go of what isn't. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Show up a tad early to networking events. It won't be as crowded (which calms the nerves), and you can actually chat with people before everyone forms little groups and it becomes more challenging to get to know one another. Plus, you can hear better, too!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: Many years ago, my old boyfriend John (not his real name) was invited to a wedding by our dear friend Steve and his fiancee Julie. Julie didn't want John to attend the wedding with me, even though we had been together for a few years. She wanted him to go with one of her single friends. Why? I am not sure. 

The invite came addressed only to John (with no mention of me). John and I got into an argument about this because he refused to ask Steve if I could come (even though we were all friends). John ended up attending the wedding alone, and I dumped him over this. Fast-forward, Steve and Julie are divorced, and I asked Steve if he knew about what had happened. He said he had no idea Julie did that and would have insisted that I come to the wedding had he known. All these years later it still bothers me. Was I right to have dumped John over this? -- NEEDS TO KNOW 

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: This is one of those situations in life that seems clear after the fact, but in the moment appears muddy and confusing. Your boyfriend should have taken you to the wedding. It's also weird that Julie was trying to come between you and John (for whatever reason), but apparently it worked. In a way, Julie did you a favor. If a guy you're with isn't willing to stand with you over something this small, there is no way he would take your side when the waves get really rough. In fact, you should send Julie a bouquet of flowers thanking her for sparing you years of agony. The card could read something like: "The best revenge is a happy life." 

DEAR NATALIE: I have been invited to a wedding by very close family friends. However, they are also close to a relative I no longer associate with for very strong personal reasons. I don't want to be rude and ask the host whether this other family member is invited, or whether they have RSVPed. However, I want to attend and am discontented by the fact that to avoid confrontation and awkwardness, I can't. It is especially troubling because the couple getting married are also related to the family member I have issues with. So each party is equally close in relation but I do not know whether the couple have had the same issues as I have with this person. Plus, unless things are as bad as they are on my end with this family member, most couples will invite relatives to weddings out of formality. Is it rude to ask whether or not they are invited? I'm not sure how to handle this. -- LEFT OUT 

DEAR LEFT OUT: It sounds as though you are close enough to the couple getting married that you could call them (not text or email -- this warrants a phone call), and tell them exactly how you are feeling. You are in a tricky position, and until you explain to them your situation, you cannot hope for any remedy.

Obviously, you can't expect them to choose a side or disinvite this other person on your behalf, but you can provide information as to why you may not be in attendance. If they say that this person is coming, you have two options: 

1. You can send a gift and a card and miss this happy occasion because of someone else. 

2. You can choose to attend and just avoid the person you don't want to see, or just be cordial and distant with him or her. Think twice before letting someone else dictate how you live your life. If you want to go to this wedding, do it. Don't give this person so much power over you. Bring your partner or a friend or someone who makes you laugh and dance, drink something bubbly and eat cake (at least have one piece for me) and celebrate love! 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: This week's tip comes from reader Jeff Pollock. "I always try to get to an event early to take a peek at the welcome table usually with prepared name tags laid out alphabetically. That way, when I later see someone whom I have previously met and perhaps should remember, I can flatter them by actually recalling their name when I see them."

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)