DEAR NATALIE: If one is sitting in prime director's circle seats at the Benedum (or any section at any play for that matter), and the couple behind you are continuously albeit sporadically crinkling candy wrappers/plastic almond containers, etc., that they sell in the lobby, what is the polite/acceptable way to get such a boor to stop the distractions without angering nearby patrons with my comment or potentially embarrassing my companion? -- EASILY ANNOYED 

DEAR EASILY ANNOYED: Isn't it funny how something as seemingly benign as a candy wrapper can drive someone to insanity in certain moments? You can react to this one of two ways: 1. Turn around and politely whisper that the candy wrappers/almond boxes are rather loud and you would prefer it if they could wait until intermission to eat their treats. They will either sheepishly swallow the last of their candy whole or they will ignore your remark and unwrap things louder and more slowly. 2. You can take a deep breath, focus on the show and meditate for a minute on why you are so bothered by this noise. It's interesting because all day long we deal with distractions, we tune out conversations and background noise, and we are able to multitask. But whenever we are sitting in relative silence, the slightest noise can become so unnerving. 

DEAR NATALIE: I was recently invited to an engagement party. I have never been invited to one before. What does one wear to such an event (dressy, non-dressy, how casual), and second, what kind of present do the couple expect to receive (or should you not even take a present)? Thanks for your help in making me look socially sophisticated! -- NEEDS A CLUE 

DEAR NEEDS A CLUE: Engagement parties can be laid back or very formal depending on the couple and where the event takes place. If, for example, the invite reads something like "join us for a drink at (insert name of bar) on Friday night to celebrate the happy couple," dress depending on the bar. If it is a swanky place, opt for a cute cocktail dress or a chic pantsuit. If it is a more casual bar, you could wear nice jeans and a pretty top, or a casual dress. If the event is in the home of a family member or a friend, I always say I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed, and a little black dress paired with a snazzy heel will do the trick. And while it is not required, it is always nice to show up at someone's home with a small gift. (I learned that from my awesome mom.) A bottle of champagne is always nice. If the event is out at a public place, a card with well wishes is a thoughtful gesture, but don't feel obligated to bring anything beyond that. Just appear with a smile on your face and have a great time celebrating love! 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Keep it positive. We have all met the Debbie Downers of the world, those who would rather complain than look on the bright side. Be a ray of sunshine in people's lives (if only for a few moments) by focusing on your passions, your goals, and encourage others to do the same during the conversation. You want people to feel uplifted when they walk away from you. Remember, networking is about putting your best foot forward, so keep a smile on your face and a spring in your step! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I wanted to have a husband by 30. I turned 30 in December, and my boyfriend and I broke up basically because I gave him an ultimatum. He wasn’t ready and I was, and that was that. I’m heartbroken and lonely and want him back. What should I do? He won’t return my calls or texts or anything. He stopped following me on social media. Should I continue to pursue this or try and move on? I’m totally at a loss. -- BROKENHEARTED GIRL

DEAR BROKENHEARTED GIRL: Ever heard of that saying, “We make plans and God laughs?” Instead of putting pressure on yourself to reach these arbitrary milestones that society puts unnecessary pressure on us to achieve, why not instead dig a little deeper into what it is you really want. Do you really want him back? Or, do you really want a husband? Don’t waste energy on someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Bear in mind that this is a new chapter, a new beginning that you can focus your attention on. Instead of waiting for him to call, redirect your energy on finding happiness within yourself. A husband won’t make you happy. A child won’t make you happy. They can enhance or detract from your own contentment, but bliss must first be cultivated from within. And as you begin to radiate joy, you may find that the right person will come along to complement this new you.

DEAR NATALIE: With the New Year looming, I always try and give myself a big goal to achieve. Every year I fall short and feel embarrassed by what I didn’t do. Last year, my goal was to lose 25 pounds. I lost 5, gave up and haven’t lost any more weight. The year before that, I wanted to get a new job and move up in my profession but didn’t come close to a promotion. I’m in a rut. Any suggestions to make 2018 more fruitful? -- FRUITLESS YEAR

DEAR FRUITLESS YEAR: Instead of making one giant lofty goal that will most likely make you feel badly if you don’t achieve it, write down three attainable goals for the new year, and then write below each goal three action steps toward achieving them. It is amazing what can shift in our psyche once we put pen to paper. Just thinking about the things you want isn’t enough. You need a plan to help you follow through and stay focused. For example, if you want to lose 25 pounds, maybe the goal is to “get healthier” in 2018. The action steps could be: “walk XX number of steps a day,” “eat three to four servings of vegetables a day,” “take a yoga class once a week” ... you get the idea. By creating a map to get you to your destination, you will have a much better chance of getting there! Bon voyage!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don’t underestimate the power of “hello.” Sometimes we assume people don’t want to interact or get to know one another, and we isolate ourselves. But any situation can bring you closer to a new contact that may prove to be helpful in the future. So get out there and be friendly!

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I work with someone who is consistently late or absent. This causes stress among the people covering for him. Our manager is doing nothing in either direction -- no reward for showing up, no punishment for not. What might I do to find more balance? I believe the manager doesn't care what happens. -- BALANCING ACT 

DEAR BALANCING ACT: You cannot care more than the other person does, meaning, if your boss is shrugging his or her shoulders apathetically at this co-worker, it will do you no good to worry or stress about them. You are picking up his slack, and I suggest that you stop. If your boss asks why something doesn't get done at the office or why a customer is unhappy, simply say, "I'm doing what I was supposed to do. Some of us aren't and it isn't my responsibility to do their job as well." Most likely your boss isn't paying any attention because he or she isn't seeing the ramifications of this other employee's actions. Once those actions are made known, you might be surprised how quickly the manager will suddenly care. 

DEAR NATALIE: I'm a professional male in my late 30s and I am ready to settle down. But all the (cute!) guys that seem to flock to me are a lot younger (mid to early 20s). I want to try to find love, but I end up falling for guys who are really unattainable or just not realistic matches. What can I do to improve my odds to find a love match? -- FLIRTS WITH TROUBLE 

DEAR FLIRTS WITH TROUBLE: Sometimes we enjoy what is unattainable because we don't have to worry about getting hurt or feeling vulnerable. It can be fun to flirt or enjoy someone's company if you know it isn't going to go anywhere. It's exciting (and even a little sexy!). 

But when you are thinking about getting serious about love, the question you have to ask is: Are you making room for it? Of course you are "seeing" only the 20-somethings because that is what you want to see. But, if you really want to find love with someone who has the same vision of the future as you do, you have to delete your digital black book of all the names that are preventing those spaces from being filled with love. 

Until you decide to change who you look at and what you are looking for, you will continue to see only what you want.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Kicking off a conversation can be easy if you ask questions, but what do you do when you run out of things to say? Don't force a connection. If the conversation dries up, simply thank them for chatting with you and say something like, "I don't want to keep you, I'm sure you have plenty of other people you would like to mingle with!" Then simply exchange business cards and move on to the next person.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)