DEAR NATALIE: I work with someone who is consistently late or absent. This causes stress among the people covering for him. Our manager is doing nothing in either direction -- no reward for showing up, no punishment for not. What might I do to find more balance? I believe the manager doesn't care what happens. -- BALANCING ACT 

DEAR BALANCING ACT: You cannot care more than the other person does, meaning, if your boss is shrugging his or her shoulders apathetically at this co-worker, it will do you no good to worry or stress about them. You are picking up his slack, and I suggest that you stop. If your boss asks why something doesn't get done at the office or why a customer is unhappy, simply say, "I'm doing what I was supposed to do. Some of us aren't and it isn't my responsibility to do their job as well." Most likely your boss isn't paying any attention because he or she isn't seeing the ramifications of this other employee's actions. Once those actions are made known, you might be surprised how quickly the manager will suddenly care. 

DEAR NATALIE: I'm a professional male in my late 30s and I am ready to settle down. But all the (cute!) guys that seem to flock to me are a lot younger (mid to early 20s). I want to try to find love, but I end up falling for guys who are really unattainable or just not realistic matches. What can I do to improve my odds to find a love match? -- FLIRTS WITH TROUBLE 

DEAR FLIRTS WITH TROUBLE: Sometimes we enjoy what is unattainable because we don't have to worry about getting hurt or feeling vulnerable. It can be fun to flirt or enjoy someone's company if you know it isn't going to go anywhere. It's exciting (and even a little sexy!). 

But when you are thinking about getting serious about love, the question you have to ask is: Are you making room for it? Of course you are "seeing" only the 20-somethings because that is what you want to see. But, if you really want to find love with someone who has the same vision of the future as you do, you have to delete your digital black book of all the names that are preventing those spaces from being filled with love. 

Until you decide to change who you look at and what you are looking for, you will continue to see only what you want.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Kicking off a conversation can be easy if you ask questions, but what do you do when you run out of things to say? Don't force a connection. If the conversation dries up, simply thank them for chatting with you and say something like, "I don't want to keep you, I'm sure you have plenty of other people you would like to mingle with!" Then simply exchange business cards and move on to the next person.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: Being a 39-year-old single mom with an autistic toddler is hard, especially because I am at the point where I am ready to date and open to a relationship. I get asked out a lot, and have given a few guys a chance. But after telling them my situation, they get scared off or just lose interest. I am an open person who believes in being honest. So, my question is: In the future should I wait to tell my date? My life is busy with several therapy hours during the week and meetings; therefore, dates are limited to weekends. If I don't say anything I may appear unavailable or not interested. Advice or suggestions are welcome. -- READY AND WAITING 

DEAR READY AND WAITING: Relationships in and of themselves can be challenging, but when you add in an element, such as a child with special needs, dating can seem almost hopeless. But fear not. It sounds like you take dating very seriously, and want your potential partner to know everything immediately. This intensity can scare people away. Take things more slowly. You can mention that you have a son with autism, but don't make the entire conversation about that. Dating should be fun. So, keep that in mind when sitting across from someone at dinner. (It's not a therapy session.) The more lighthearted your approach, the more relaxed you and your potential partner will be. Nobody wants to jump headfirst into a delicate situation. (And have fun. You're not only a loving mother, but also a woman who deserves to live and laugh, too!) 

DEAR NATALIE: I am dating two men at the moment and have been married several times and widowed twice. Here are a few real questions about geriatric dating (and I would love a younger person's perspective!): At the top of the list, of course, do you tell him when his fly is open? Others: Do you tell him why he is getting dirty looks and horns honking is because his right-hand signal has been on for the last 20 blocks? Do you wake him up when he falls sound asleep during a performance? Do you tell him he has dripped soup all over his tie? Wipe crumbs off his vest? -- BLUE HAIR DATING BLUES

DEAR BLUE HAIR DATING BLUES: No matter what his age, tell him his fly is open, and maybe even crack a joke about it, too. When he's cruising down the road with his blinker on for several blocks, mention it politely (like you just noticed it!) so he doesn't feel embarrassed. And feel free to glare back at those drivers for putting you on the spot. When he's sleeping at the theater, don't wake him unless he starts to snore. Or drool. Or both. And remember the words of Ivana Trump when it came to dating: "I'd rather be a baby sitter than a nurse!" (So "no" to wiping crumbs off of his shirt. Nobody wants to date their mom!) 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Expand your social network. It can be easy to get into a networking rut and always attend events with the same groups of people. Get out of your comfort zone and explore events with people in fields unrelated to your own, enriching your network and life experience! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: Is it wrong to regift a present? I have received a lot of “nice” things over the past year or two but when thinking about buying gifts for colleagues at work or friends, it seems silly to waste when I have things at home that haven’t been opened or used. I know it can be tacky to do so, but what are your thoughts on regifting? -- REGIFT OR REGRET

DEAR REGIFT OR REGRET: In a world with too much stuff in it as it is, I don’t blame you for wanting to regift perfectly good items that you aren’t using. It does seem ridiculous to waste things that you think other friends or colleagues may enjoy or use. But that is the key idea here. You can’t just regift to regift. If you received something that you don’t need or don’t want and it didn’t come with a gift receipt so that you could return or exchange it, think about who it would best suit. Now, if there is no one in your circle that could use a Soda Stream or a Snuggie, for example, then give them to a charitable organization instead of chucking them in the garbage. But please, be careful who you regift to. If your sister gives you an ’80s-inspired eyeshadow palette don’t regift it to your mom. It’s important to always be gracious when you accept gifts and to regift that way, as well.

DEAR NATALIE: My fiance and I have been together for several years and while he is a great guy, he is terrible at gift giving. Every year, it’s the same. I get a stack of gift cards to my favorite stores in the city, but there is no thought put into it, no romance. I appreciate his attempt, but I’m over it. He says it’s easier this way because then I can just get what I want. But I want him to be more thoughtful. How do I get him to change his gift-giving habits? -- GIFT CARD OVERLOAD

DEAR GIFT CARD OVERLOAD: If you are trying to make me feel sorry for you when your fiance gives you a “stack of gift cards to your favorite stores” you are out of luck. Instead of trying to change him (ahem, it’s a little too late for that) why don’t you instead change your attitude about his gift-giving ways? He may not see this as not being thoughtful. In fact, in his mind, what is more thoughtful than giving you the ability to get exactly what you want? Maybe next time you receive a stack of awesome gift cards, ask him to join you at one or two of the stores so he can help you pick something out. Another idea is to meet him after shopping and enjoy a night on the town together in one of your fabulous new outfits that he bought for you. Get creative with how you approach this situation, and try to expand your mind on how you think about this. This is what we call a First World problem, which means, it’s not much of a problem at all.

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: This can be a challenging time for a lot of people who may be struggling with family issues, isolation or loneliness. But it is a great time to volunteer, whether it be at a food bank or a nursing home. Sit with someone, learn their story, and share some of your own. You never know who you will connect with and how this connection could improve the quality of not only their life, but also yours too.

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)