DEAR NATALIE: I have been dating this guy for about a year now. Everything is fine, but I feel like that spark is gone. He's more like a friend than a lover at this point. The problem is, he's much more in love with me than I am with him, and he's talking about getting engaged. We went ring shopping the other day, and while I think it's romantic, I felt nothing. I don't want to break up with him, though, because he is a great person. But living in this stale relationship is not working either. What do I do? -- SPARKLESS 

DEAR SPARKLESS: Being a great person is one thing, but a relationship is its own separate entity. There is you, there is your boyfriend, and there is the relationship. On his own, he may be a great person, but if the relationship component isn't working, it isn't fair to him -- or you -- to stay and be unhappy. Talk to him about the fact that you feel as though you may be moving too fast and see what he says. If you are afraid to lose him, ask yourself why. If there is still something there, work to strengthen it. But, if you are just afraid to be alone or afraid to cut him loose because he is a good person, I suggest you do some soul searching. It is selfish of you to keep him around because you basically are saying: "While I don't like you enough, I don't want anyone else to have you either." Not cool. 

DEAR NATALIE: I recently got married, and now I feel like I made a big mistake. We didn't know each other for that long when we got engaged, which was exciting, and planning the wedding was a lot of fun. But, now I am feeling depressed. There is nothing to look forward to. I talked to my husband about this, and he thinks I'm crazy. He said to me, "The wedding was the biggest party we will ever have. Just think of those memories, and you will be fine." Ugh, isn't that depressing? Like the best year I'll ever have is behind me? How do I get out of this rut? -- WEDDING BELL BLUES 

DEAR WEDDING BELL BLUES: The first year of marriage can be quite a challenge because you are coming down from the adrenaline rush of engagement excitement and wedding bells. Try reconnecting with your new husband and find fun ways to be together. Take a class together or plan a weekly date night to keep the energy flowing. Or, instead of sitting around moping about the amazing year that you had, acknowledge that times change, emotions ebb and flow, and then get off your butt and do something to help someone else. There are about a million humanitarian crises happening around you. Why not organize an event (because you love parties) and help to raise money for the victims of the Las Vegas shooting or the hurricane victims in the Caribbean or Florida or Texas? There are so many people and places that need our help right now. So, don't sit around and mope because of a lack of excitement in your life. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have been dating two guys for a while now, and both want me to commit to “just them.” I don’t feel ready to be monogamous with either one, but I really like them both and don’t want to lose either of them. I haven’t exactly told either of them that I am seeing someone else, and I think they both think we are in a committed relationship. How do I fix this? I can’t decide who to pick, and I don’t want to lose either of them. -- HAVE MY CAKE

DEAR HAVE MY CAKE: So what’s really going on here is that you are living a double life. Aren’t you exhausted? I’m exhausted thinking about it! Unfortunately, you stand to lose both of them at this point because you have been lying the whole time. Maybe one (or both) won’t care that you are “hanging out” with someone else, but my guess is they will. In any case, the longer you put this off, the worse it is going to be. Just tell them the truth as gently as you can. Say something like, “I know we’ve been moving a little fast, and I haven’t exactly been completely honest about the fact that I’m still seeing other people ...” If one of them freaks out and the other accepts it, well then, the decision is made for you. Or, perhaps it’ll be like a Bohemian dream, and the three of you can live in happiness together. Or not. Either way, I would just tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. At the end of the day, sneaking around is not a good look. And you may wind up with cake on your face.

DEAR NATALIE: With all of the sexual harassment all over the media, I’m starting to think that there are no good men out there. I went out on a date the other night (we’ve only gone out a few times), and I brought up this conversation. He got really upset and was like, “Not all men are pigs!” Needless to say, he hasn’t called. I feel badly because I like him, but I also feel frustrated because I’m starting to think that all men really are pigs. But I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life either. What do you think I should do? Should I text him and apologize? But what am I even apologizing for? Nothing makes sense anymore. Thoughts? -- DEJECTED

DEAR DEJECTED: First, take a big breath. The world is not as dark and sinister as it appears. Right now, there is a purge of sorts happening, so while it may seem really bad, it’s always darkest before the dawn. I hope. Either that or we’ve slipped into a soon-to-be zombie apocalypse. It was probably tough for your date to feel as though he was saying the right thing because I think everyone feels as though no matter what they say in any situation right now it is the wrong thing. He probably felt defensive because he’s never had to reflect on this before and never had to wonder about his own privilege. But with you he had to and most likely felt uncomfortable, just as you felt frustrated. Texting him is a good idea but keep it light. Say something like, “I know our last conversation was heated, but sparks are a good thing, right?” See if he responds. But regardless, don’t give up on humanity. Don’t give up on love. It may seem grim right now, but I think an awakening takes time, soul searching, real honest conversation, uncomfortable exchanges and reflection. There are men out there willing to do the work, and I think if you put out a vibe of compassion and understanding, the right one will find you.

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Not sure what to give your colleagues at work? Sometimes, a personal handwritten note on a pretty card is all it takes to lift spirits.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: My son recently got engaged, and they are in the planning stages of their wedding. We have a small family, and the bride has a large family. I saw the tentative list of invitees. The bride's family looked to be sizable; our family had a small amount of invitees, including my husband and me. I'm trying not to get out of control, but is it too early to ask if we are allowed to invite close friends because the venue they are looking at has very limited space? We already gave them a sizable check with no restrictions. -- HURT ALREADY 

DEAR HURT ALREADY: Aren't weddings so fun? Everyone has to smile at one another while secretly wanting to pull each other's hair out. But before you end up bald before the wedding, stop and think before handing them a list of your closest friends. Clearly, the bride has the reins in this case, and while back in the day it was customary for the bride's family to pay for most -- if not all -- of the party, the cost of weddings has increased so much that it is often a group effort. I applaud you for cutting them a sizable check to help with the costs, but I still feel as though this is her day. Instead of approaching her with a list of your friends, first go to your son and say to him, "I noticed the guest list is really unbalanced. Here are some close family friends. You remember so-and-so?" See if he can nudge her into including two or three more couples on your side of the aisle. But, if that doesn't go anywhere, do what a lot of my friends are doing: Make this a multi-part event and have your close friends over for brunch the next day after the wedding (and invite her immediate family of course!) to celebrate their marriage. It may not be the same as being at the wedding, but the gesture will be sweet, and who doesn't like mimosas to cure their wedding hangover? 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Don't think of Instagram as just a place where selfies live. Make connections through the direct messenger and reach out to people through your social network to help facilitate relationships. A little "like" can go a long way! 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)