Young adults across America are facing an unprecedented array of expenses. These include payments on mountains of student debt and hefty health care costs. Many with small kids also face exorbitant daycare charges.

So, should millennials try mightily to limit their mortgage expenses when buying a home -- even if that means settling for a smaller-than-ideal property? Absolutely, if they intend to stay in their place for a relatively short time, says Issi Romem, the chief economist for Trulia, which tracks real estate markets throughout America.

“It’s not a good idea to overextend yourself if you’ll need to sell within three to five years,” says Romem, who’s based in one of the nation’s costliest housing markets, the San Francisco area.

Romem is already identifying signs of a mild to moderate downturn in real estate markets and a slowing of home price appreciation. That means those currently buying property can’t count on price gains to cover their selling-related expenses if they must let go of their property a few years after buying it.

The good news for current buyers is that the market is gradually shifting in their favor, and mortgage rates are likely to remain moderate by historical standards. Meanwhile, unsold inventory is starting to accumulate, which means many sellers will need to cut prices, giving buyers more bargaining power than they’ve had in recent years.

The slowing in home price appreciation, coupled with the high cost of living for many millennials, makes it prudent for first-time buyers to limit their exposure to mortgage debt, says Keith Gumbinger, a vice president at HSH Associates, which follows home lending trends across the country.

“It’s better for buyers to err on the side of safety than to be up to their necks in financial obligations,” he says.

Here are a few pointers for buyers:

-- Realize it’s still possible to take out a bigger home loan than you should.

“It’s always possible to put yourself behind the eight ball with mortgage debt,” Gumbinger says.

Many borrowers are offered the chance to take out a larger mortgage than is wise in their case, says Sean Sebold, a veteran financial planner who’s advised clients since 1994.

Among the buyers who should be especially careful not to overspend are people who are single and couples supporting a household on just one income, he says.

Why do some buyers spend more than planned -- even after taking on a big mortgage? Sebold believes most buyers are optimistic about their finances.

Although there are fewer people working in mortgage lending than before the Great Recession, those still in the field are now competing as aggressively as ever for loans, Gumbinger says, and many lenders work on commission, meaning they don’t get paid unless their deals go through.

Do lenders want buyers to borrow more than is prudent? Generally not, says Gumbinger, but neither are they driven to dissuade borrowers from doing so.

“It’s not the mortgage lender’s responsibility to protect you from you,” he says.

-- Get a handle on your finances prior to taking out a mortgage.

Sebold suggests that before looking at property, you do a careful analysis of your income and outflows to ensure you’ll have adequate funds to cover both your mortgage payments and your non-housing expenses.

Do you have a child who needs expensive tutoring due to learning disabilities? Are you a dog lover who insists on organic food for your several puppies? Do you like traveling the world and take regular international trips?

These are examples of special spending patterns that should be taken into account when deciding how much you can afford for a property.

Sebold recommends that before you shop for a home, you should analyze your spending over a recent three-month period. Then assume you’ll spend as much or more after you buy a home, adding in extra costs for the property, such as hardware and lawn supplies.

In fact, Sebold encourages renters to simulate what they would confront if they faced higher housing costs each month.

“Suppose you’re now paying $1,500 a month for rent but plan to spend $2,500 for a house payment. While still living in your apartment, put an extra $1,000 a month in a savings account and see if you can live on the rest of your income,” he says.

-- Give yourself an upper limit on how much you’ll spend for a home.

“If you’re working in an insecure job, you’d better have a year’s worth of living costs set aside if you’re in a one-income household,” Sebold says.

Even if you have two incomes -- and believe your jobs are secure -- Sebold says you’ll want to add in a financial buffer when calculating what you can afford for housing.

After gaining mortgage preapproval, he urges you to set a firm upper limit on how much you’ll spend before heading out to look at property. Put this number on an index card and carry it in your pocket when you’re searching for the right home, he says.

“You should always know that number before going out to buy,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Herb Knoll was just 57 when his wife died after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. Overwhelmed with grief, he headed to his local Barnes & Noble in search of a book offering guidance for widowers. Unhappy with the limited selection, he decided to author “The Widower’s Journey: Helping Men Rebuild After Their Loss.”

For his research, the former banker reached out to more than 40 men who’d also lost their wives. These interviews led him to conclude that many men are so flooded with emotion after losing a spouse that they make mistaken lifestyle decisions, coping poorly with issues related to their both their health and finances.

“During this vulnerable time, many people, and especially men, are very impulsive,” Knoll says.

One impulsive decision many who lose a spouse make is to hurriedly sell a property they’ve inhabited for years. Knoll says such a quick sale could be a mistake from both a financial and emotional perspective.

Of course, some who are widowed are compelled to liquidate their property quickly if the loss of a spouse’s paycheck makes it impossible for them to meet their mortgage payments. In such a case, it’s usually better to sell than face involuntary foreclosure.

Also, Knoll says those who are very elderly when their spouse passes away may wish to sell their home promptly and relocate to live near grown children or grandchildren --given that they can anticipate relatively few additional years of life.

Knoll urges those who’ve lost a spouse to death to connect with others facing the same situation. He says this is especially critical for widowers who live alone or in rural communities.

“Many men who’ve lost their wives live in the shadows. Their wife was the linchpin of their social life and now she’s gone,” he says.

To help facilitate interactions among widowers, Knoll created the Widowers Support Network, a nonprofit group that now connects 370 men, as well as a number of widows, in 19 countries. He invites anyone who’s lost a spouse to join this virtual network or to reach him directly through his website: WidowersSupportNetwork.com.

Knoll urges anyone who’s lost a spouse to strengthen their support network during this challenging period. Here are a few other pointers for widows and widowers:

-- Ponder any housing moves from a holistic perspective.

For many who’ve lost a spouse, keeping a large family home indefinitely means serious financial trade-offs, says Mark Nash, a longtime real estate broker and author of “1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home.” He suggests you consult a trusted financial planner or accountant before making any major real estate decisions.

“Crunching the numbers will tell you a lot about your options and help you face reality,” Nash says.

In advance of a visit to see your financial adviser, Nash suggests you spend some time with your checkbook and credit card statements to determine how much your house is costing you in mortgage payments, taxes and maintenance outlays.

-- Question whether moving to a condo is the best choice for you.

Arlen Olberding, a certified financial planner affiliated with the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (napfa.org) says there are always multiple factors to consider before making a major housing change.

He says those suffering in the aftermath of a spouse’s death often sell a large family home in favor of a smaller unit in a condo development. Yet after taking the monthly condo fees into account, they’ve saved little.

“Making a lateral transition doesn’t necessarily reduce your housing costs. Instead of buying a condo with all those fees, you might be better off downsizing to a smaller, one-level house that could serve you well in retirement,” he says.

-- Take seriously your emotional attachment to the family home.

Some women are strongly attached to the home where they raised their children and want to keep a place with extra space for their extended family visits -- a concept called the “mecca house.”

Nash says he’s worked with many older women who live to regret the sale of the spacious family home.

“Once the family house is gone, they feel like fish out of water,” he says.

Throughout his real estate career, Nash says he’s noticed that more women than men want to keep the family home in the wake of widowhood. Still, of those many want to slightly alter the house, perhaps with the help of an interior designer.

“This way, a woman can put her imprint on the property for the next stage of her life,” Nash says.

-- Make any housing decision an element in your overall life planning.

To whom should you turn to help chart your housing plans after a spouse dies? Sometimes a real estate agent who’s willing to listen to your story, (and won’t push you to sell), is a better bet than a close friend or family member, according to Nash.

“Your family and friends aren’t always the most objective advisers. Besides an agent, you might want to talk to a therapist, counselor or life coach,” he says. (To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Maybe it’s a good thing economists’ salaries aren’t based on the reliability of their predictions. Many economists forecasted that mortgage rates would ascend in 2019, but rates have dropped somewhat in recent weeks, to the delight of homebuyers.

Mortgage specialists say current buyers react in a very positive way when rates fall. That can help explain why sales of existing homes surged 11.8 percent in February, according to the National Association of Realtors (realtor.org).

“The reality of lower-than-expected mortgage rates is now the overarching story for real estate. If you have top-flight credit, the financing door is wide open,” says Keith Gumbinger, a vice president of HSH Associates, which tracks mortgage markets across the U.S.

“Lower rates mean more buying power. They’re getting more people off the fence about buying,” says Marty Qualls, who works for a Utah firm called Primary Residential Mortgage Inc.

Mike Hummel, a mortgage broker in New Jersey who’s worked in the field since 1998, says the change in rates has come at an opportune time for wannabe homeowners planning a springtime purchase.

“People are banging the doors down again,” says Hummel, though he cautions that not all neighborhood markets are benefitting equally from the rate improvement.

Are you planning to soon venture into the housing market and wish to find a solid lender to help you gain mortgage preapproval? If so, these few pointers could be of help:

-- Shop around for recommended lenders.

In the aftermath of the housing downturn of 2008, the federal government became increasingly involved in the mortgage market. The result is that government-backed mortgages now represent a major share of all home loans made in the United States. Meanwhile, there’s been a decline in the number of mortgage brokers -- intermediaries between banks and consumers -- operating in the field.

“Some mortgage brokers are gone. But more of the brokers and lenders who are left are real pros in their field,” says Guy Cecala, who heads Inside Mortgage Finance, which publishes industry newsletters and reports.

Do you have flaws on your credit reports? In that case, Cecala urges you to choose your lender especially carefully.

“You always want to shop around -- not only for the best possible rates and fees, but also for a lender who offers good service and processing speed,” he says.

-- Look to personal referrals to create a short list of lenders.

As Cecala says, real estate agents are in a good position to know which lenders will offer the smoothest and swiftest loan processing. After all, they work with lenders year after year and need to identify those most likely to get their deals to the finish line on time.

Though mortgage brokers, who shop your loan application to multiple lenders, are now fewer in number, many home loans are still being made by large banks, community banks and credit unions. In addition, there’s been an increase in the number of online mortgage lenders.

“Contact at least three different types of lenders before making your selection. Try to include on your list one mortgage broker, one major bank and one smaller bank or credit union,” Cecala says.

Friends and co-workers can be excellent sources for names of reputable lenders, especially if they’ve taken out a home loan within the last year, says Dale Robyn Siegel, a veteran mortgage lender and author of “The New Rules for Mortgages.”

“I still believe in the old-fashioned method of asking around for referrals,” Siegel says.

-- Don’t divulge your Social Security number prematurely.

Of course, no self-respecting lender will guarantee that your mortgage rate has been locked in without first pulling your credit scores. But that doesn’t mean you should give out your Social Security number (the key to pulling your credit scores) while you’re still comparison shopping, Gumbinger says.

Granted, those with credit scores at the highest end of the range are eligible for the best possible mortgage rates. Still, you shouldn’t have to release your private information just for routine rate shopping.

-- Beware of excessive closing costs imposed by a lender.

There are a number of costs and fees involved in mortgage lending, and only some of them are imposed by lenders. These lender-based fees include the cost for a home appraisal and a copy of your credit report. Also, other charges, often called “junk fees,” can be imposed by the lender at the time of closing.

To better protect consumers, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (hud.gov) has set tighter rules to let borrowers compare lenders on the basis of their charges. As a result, HUD now requires lenders to give borrowers an early and accurate listing of their closing costs.

But Gumbinger says it’s up to consumers to carefully compare a lender’s charges before deciding whether to proceed. To do this, it’s important to study a copy of the lender’s estimated charges. This form should list all the fees you’d pay at closing, with a very small margin for changes. The lender must give you this estimate shortly after you apply for a mortgage.

By carefully reviewing your lender’s estimate of charges early in the process, you’ll have a chance to ask for lower lender fees or to change lenders to obtain a better deal.

Though mortgage lenders face strict disclosure requirements, their fees have also climbed because of their heavier workloads, according to Gumbinger.

“One man’s junk is another man’s cost of doing business,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)