Herb Knoll was just 57 when his wife died after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. Overwhelmed with grief, he headed to his local Barnes & Noble in search of a book offering guidance for widowers. Unhappy with the limited selection, he decided to author “The Widower’s Journey: Helping Men Rebuild After Their Loss.”

For his research, the former banker reached out to more than 40 men who’d also lost their wives. These interviews led him to conclude that many men are so flooded with emotion after losing a spouse that they make mistaken lifestyle decisions, coping poorly with issues related to their both their health and finances.

“During this vulnerable time, many people, and especially men, are very impulsive,” Knoll says.

One impulsive decision many who lose a spouse make is to hurriedly sell a property they’ve inhabited for years. Knoll says such a quick sale could be a mistake from both a financial and emotional perspective.

Of course, some who are widowed are compelled to liquidate their property quickly if the loss of a spouse’s paycheck makes it impossible for them to meet their mortgage payments. In such a case, it’s usually better to sell than face involuntary foreclosure.

Also, Knoll says those who are very elderly when their spouse passes away may wish to sell their home promptly and relocate to live near grown children or grandchildren --given that they can anticipate relatively few additional years of life.

Knoll urges those who’ve lost a spouse to death to connect with others facing the same situation. He says this is especially critical for widowers who live alone or in rural communities.

“Many men who’ve lost their wives live in the shadows. Their wife was the linchpin of their social life and now she’s gone,” he says.

To help facilitate interactions among widowers, Knoll created the Widowers Support Network, a nonprofit group that now connects 370 men, as well as a number of widows, in 19 countries. He invites anyone who’s lost a spouse to join this virtual network or to reach him directly through his website: WidowersSupportNetwork.com.

Knoll urges anyone who’s lost a spouse to strengthen their support network during this challenging period. Here are a few other pointers for widows and widowers:

-- Ponder any housing moves from a holistic perspective.

For many who’ve lost a spouse, keeping a large family home indefinitely means serious financial trade-offs, says Mark Nash, a longtime real estate broker and author of “1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home.” He suggests you consult a trusted financial planner or accountant before making any major real estate decisions.

“Crunching the numbers will tell you a lot about your options and help you face reality,” Nash says.

In advance of a visit to see your financial adviser, Nash suggests you spend some time with your checkbook and credit card statements to determine how much your house is costing you in mortgage payments, taxes and maintenance outlays.

-- Question whether moving to a condo is the best choice for you.

Arlen Olberding, a certified financial planner affiliated with the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (napfa.org) says there are always multiple factors to consider before making a major housing change.

He says those suffering in the aftermath of a spouse’s death often sell a large family home in favor of a smaller unit in a condo development. Yet after taking the monthly condo fees into account, they’ve saved little.

“Making a lateral transition doesn’t necessarily reduce your housing costs. Instead of buying a condo with all those fees, you might be better off downsizing to a smaller, one-level house that could serve you well in retirement,” he says.

-- Take seriously your emotional attachment to the family home.

Some women are strongly attached to the home where they raised their children and want to keep a place with extra space for their extended family visits -- a concept called the “mecca house.”

Nash says he’s worked with many older women who live to regret the sale of the spacious family home.

“Once the family house is gone, they feel like fish out of water,” he says.

Throughout his real estate career, Nash says he’s noticed that more women than men want to keep the family home in the wake of widowhood. Still, of those many want to slightly alter the house, perhaps with the help of an interior designer.

“This way, a woman can put her imprint on the property for the next stage of her life,” Nash says.

-- Make any housing decision an element in your overall life planning.

To whom should you turn to help chart your housing plans after a spouse dies? Sometimes a real estate agent who’s willing to listen to your story, (and won’t push you to sell), is a better bet than a close friend or family member, according to Nash.

“Your family and friends aren’t always the most objective advisers. Besides an agent, you might want to talk to a therapist, counselor or life coach,” he says. (To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Maybe it’s a good thing economists’ salaries aren’t based on the reliability of their predictions. Many economists forecasted that mortgage rates would ascend in 2019, but rates have dropped somewhat in recent weeks, to the delight of homebuyers.

Mortgage specialists say current buyers react in a very positive way when rates fall. That can help explain why sales of existing homes surged 11.8 percent in February, according to the National Association of Realtors (realtor.org).

“The reality of lower-than-expected mortgage rates is now the overarching story for real estate. If you have top-flight credit, the financing door is wide open,” says Keith Gumbinger, a vice president of HSH Associates, which tracks mortgage markets across the U.S.

“Lower rates mean more buying power. They’re getting more people off the fence about buying,” says Marty Qualls, who works for a Utah firm called Primary Residential Mortgage Inc.

Mike Hummel, a mortgage broker in New Jersey who’s worked in the field since 1998, says the change in rates has come at an opportune time for wannabe homeowners planning a springtime purchase.

“People are banging the doors down again,” says Hummel, though he cautions that not all neighborhood markets are benefitting equally from the rate improvement.

Are you planning to soon venture into the housing market and wish to find a solid lender to help you gain mortgage preapproval? If so, these few pointers could be of help:

-- Shop around for recommended lenders.

In the aftermath of the housing downturn of 2008, the federal government became increasingly involved in the mortgage market. The result is that government-backed mortgages now represent a major share of all home loans made in the United States. Meanwhile, there’s been a decline in the number of mortgage brokers -- intermediaries between banks and consumers -- operating in the field.

“Some mortgage brokers are gone. But more of the brokers and lenders who are left are real pros in their field,” says Guy Cecala, who heads Inside Mortgage Finance, which publishes industry newsletters and reports.

Do you have flaws on your credit reports? In that case, Cecala urges you to choose your lender especially carefully.

“You always want to shop around -- not only for the best possible rates and fees, but also for a lender who offers good service and processing speed,” he says.

-- Look to personal referrals to create a short list of lenders.

As Cecala says, real estate agents are in a good position to know which lenders will offer the smoothest and swiftest loan processing. After all, they work with lenders year after year and need to identify those most likely to get their deals to the finish line on time.

Though mortgage brokers, who shop your loan application to multiple lenders, are now fewer in number, many home loans are still being made by large banks, community banks and credit unions. In addition, there’s been an increase in the number of online mortgage lenders.

“Contact at least three different types of lenders before making your selection. Try to include on your list one mortgage broker, one major bank and one smaller bank or credit union,” Cecala says.

Friends and co-workers can be excellent sources for names of reputable lenders, especially if they’ve taken out a home loan within the last year, says Dale Robyn Siegel, a veteran mortgage lender and author of “The New Rules for Mortgages.”

“I still believe in the old-fashioned method of asking around for referrals,” Siegel says.

-- Don’t divulge your Social Security number prematurely.

Of course, no self-respecting lender will guarantee that your mortgage rate has been locked in without first pulling your credit scores. But that doesn’t mean you should give out your Social Security number (the key to pulling your credit scores) while you’re still comparison shopping, Gumbinger says.

Granted, those with credit scores at the highest end of the range are eligible for the best possible mortgage rates. Still, you shouldn’t have to release your private information just for routine rate shopping.

-- Beware of excessive closing costs imposed by a lender.

There are a number of costs and fees involved in mortgage lending, and only some of them are imposed by lenders. These lender-based fees include the cost for a home appraisal and a copy of your credit report. Also, other charges, often called “junk fees,” can be imposed by the lender at the time of closing.

To better protect consumers, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (hud.gov) has set tighter rules to let borrowers compare lenders on the basis of their charges. As a result, HUD now requires lenders to give borrowers an early and accurate listing of their closing costs.

But Gumbinger says it’s up to consumers to carefully compare a lender’s charges before deciding whether to proceed. To do this, it’s important to study a copy of the lender’s estimated charges. This form should list all the fees you’d pay at closing, with a very small margin for changes. The lender must give you this estimate shortly after you apply for a mortgage.

By carefully reviewing your lender’s estimate of charges early in the process, you’ll have a chance to ask for lower lender fees or to change lenders to obtain a better deal.

Though mortgage lenders face strict disclosure requirements, their fees have also climbed because of their heavier workloads, according to Gumbinger.

“One man’s junk is another man’s cost of doing business,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

For well over a decade, imported goods have flooded into America from abroad: clothing, shoes, hardware, electronics and home furnishings. Such items stuff the shelves at Walmart, Ikea, dollar stores and other outlets -- constantly tempting a materialistic population with amazingly low prices.

"The problem is getting far worse. People keep acquiring more and more stuff and let go of very little. It's super stressful to be so encumbered," says Vickie Dellaquila, a professional organizer and author who's worked with downsizing clients since 2003.

The widespread desire to battle clutter is illustrated by the extraordinary popularity of "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up," a book by an organizer named Marie Kondo, whose lessons on the Japanese art of spiritual purging are now also running as a Netflix series.

For harried homeowners wishing to sell their property, the need to declutter is of paramount concern. That's because a place filled with clutter shows very poorly.

"Homebuyers can't picture themselves living in any home that's overfilled. They've had their own struggles with excess and want a fresh start after they move. So you'll never be highly successful in selling until you liberate your house of all that extra stuff," says Stacy Berman, a veteran realty company manager.

Here are a few pointers for time-stretched homeowners who wish to sell:

-- Commit your organizing plan to paper.

Lee Silber, author of "Time Management for the Creative Person," says too few people embark on projects with a written plan in hand.

Many home sellers mistakenly believe they can proceed as efficiently with a mental plan as with a written one, according to Silber. "In fact, what you have in your head is clutter unless you put it down on paper," he says.

Are you unsure which tasks need to be done to get your home ready for market -- whether, for instance, these should include cleaning closets or painting bedrooms? If so, Silber suggests you ask your listing agent to draft a step-by-step list. Then go down the list, circling steps with the highest impact.

"People short on time -- and that's most of us -- need to concentrate first on activities with the greatest potential return for the time spent," he says. For instance, replacing a stained living room carpet could make a significant difference in the salability of your place. But fixing the stains on your concrete walkways may not.

-- Position your to-do list in a highly visible place.

Not only do sellers need to make a comprehensive list of tasks, but they should keep that list in full view, says Rita Emmett, a time-management specialist and author.

"Type it in a large font and put it up in the kitchen or wherever you spend a lot of time. Drawing from this list, work in one-hour increments. Each day, try to do at least three small tasks -- such as going to the store for the cardboard boxes you'll use to declutter," she says.

-- Delegate, delegate, delegate.

It may seem obvious, but many busy people with the means to hire help to prepare their homes for sale decline to do so.

"Every busy person needs help with such a huge project as preparing the family home for market. This is especially true if you have zillions of things to sort through. If you can't afford to hire help, go to your church or synagogue and ask for volunteers," Emmett says.

-- Weave some fun into your home-sale prep work.

You'll gain more momentum in your quest to ready your home for market if you can make an otherwise boring project more interesting.

For instance, Silber suggests you consider what he calls "the fishbowl game." Take a copy of your to-do list and cut the paper into pieces, one task per piece. Then, when you have a block of time to move forward (on a Saturday morning, for instance), place all the pieces in a bowl and pick out one at random to start your day. After that task is done, reach into the bowl for the next one.

Another of Silber's ideas is to stage a "pre-sale party." Just as you're launching into home prep, send out invitations to friends for a fest scheduled to occur right before your home is listed.

-- Don't fault yourself for your hectic schedule.

Cramming the calendars of many are longer commutes -- due to mounting traffic congestion -- and more demanding work schedules. Moreover, many boomers face dual responsibilities for the care of both elders and children.

"People in this 'sandwich generation' are hard hit with obligations. They're running to keep up with their children and then their parents get sick, too," Emmett says.

If you're caught in this maelstrom -- and determined to tackle the job of prepping your home for sale -- Emmett suggests you make a list of discretionary activities that could be cut from your schedule, if only temporarily.

"The No. 1 family activity in the United States is shopping. At least until you get your place ready for sale, all that extra shopping simply has to go," she says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)