A couple in their late 60s adored the colonial-style house they’d owned for more than 30 years. But after the husband developed muscular dystrophy, they were compelled to move to a condo, selling their beloved property to fund their retirement.

Like many boomers forced to downsize, this couple would have greatly preferred to age in place. In fact, they dragged out the selling process for months, rebuffing potential purchasers who didn’t suit their fancy until they grudgingly accepted an offer from an especially tenacious pair.

Why do many older people let go of a family home only when it’s absolutely imperative?

Many housing experts believe that America -- long known for a high level of geographic mobility -- is fast becoming a nation of nesters. Statistics seem to bear that out. Data from the National Association of Realtors (realtor.org) show that average owners now stay in their homes for more than nine years, a jump from six years before the real estate downturn of 2008.

Todd Teta, a senior official at Attom Data Solutions (attomdata.com), which tracks real estate markets across the country, doesn’t know the couple in this true story. But he says their resistance to moving is understandable.

Teta, who has a background in mortgage lending, says one factor causing ambivalence about moving for boomers is that many older people still have exceptionally low-cost home loans.

“Mortgage rates are on the rise. So why move when your home is almost paid off?” he says.

The reluctance of older home sellers can make it hard for younger purchasers to negotiate their way to ownership of their place, says Tom Early, a longtime real estate broker who works solely with buyers.

“Some older sellers ... assume their property is worth more than it is and only consent to an offer when forced to,” says Early, the former president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (naeba.org).

Here are a few pointers for buyers on dealing with difficult sellers from any generation:

-- Determine how eager the owners are to sell.

How can you find out what’s spurred sellers to put their place on the market? Often, your agent can get answers by simply asking the sellers’ agent direct questions.

There are several reasons some owners may resist selling immediately. Perhaps they want their teenagers to finish high school before moving. Or maybe their custom-built house won’t be done for another seven or eight months.

How can you get less-than-eager sellers to bargain? As Early says, one strategy is to volunteer a late closing date in exchange for a slight price reduction.

-- Consider using a delaying tactic to deal with defiant sellers.

As Early notes, many sellers have their egos tied up with the sale of their property. That can cause them to overplay their hand, even when they have a pressing need to sell. For example, they might make a counterproposal to your first offer with a 24-hour “take it or leave it” provision.

Should you reply to such a challenge on their terms? Not necessarily, says Early. In fact, failing to answer immediately could be an effective way to bring them down to earth on price. He calls this tactic the “walk-away.”

Disappearing from negotiations won’t cause unmotivated sellers to yield on price. But it could prompt motivated sellers to take a serious second look at your latest offer, especially if their property has languished unsold for a lengthy time and they’ve gotten no other bids.

“Psychologically, by taking away their candy for just five or 10 hours longer than they expected, you make them sweat enough to stop taking your interest for granted,” Early says.

-- Realize that some sellers will simply never compromise.

Early, who’s been in the real estate business for several decades, says he can tell immediately when his clients fall in love with a home.

“As soon as they walk into the right house, their eyes light up. They become excited. ... For most people, home selection is a highly emotional thing,” he says.

But what should you do if the owners of a home demand a price you know to be excessive, and all attempts to negotiate seem futile? Then Early recommends you let go of the property and begin seeking another immediately.

“Climb back into the saddle. The odds are that eventually you’ll find an even better house for a fair price,” Early says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Memories of the real estate meltdown a decade ago are still fresh in the minds of many home sellers. While housing analysts aren't predicting a repeat anytime soon, they caution homeowners -- who've also witnessed a strong sellers' market in recent years -- against arrogance.

At the Washington, D.C., office of the National Association of Realtors (realtor.org), chief economist Lawrence Yun is beginning to cite "buyer pullbacks" in some neighborhoods across the U.S. Meanwhile, the supply of unsold homes -- once extraordinarily tight -- is gradually increasing.

"Home prices are, on average, rising at a slower and healthier pace," Yun says.

Sid Davis, an independent Utah real estate broker, says many housing markets are becoming more balanced between buyers and sellers.

"Real estate is still neighborhood-driven. A desirable home in a great neighborhood can still attract multiple offers. But generally speaking, the pace of sales is slowing," says Davis, the author of "A Survival Guide to Selling a Home."

He stresses that now -- as always -- the most successful sellers are those who empower themselves through feedback from the prospects who visit their place.

"If you hear your visitors hate your paint colors or that the house is cramped with too much furniture, it's time to make immediate changes while your listing is still fresh," Davis says.

The good news for sellers is that it's often easy to garner seller reactions.

"Most buyers tip their hands. Just listen carefully and you'll pick up clues that could prove incredibly useful when you're trying to reach a deal," says Ashley Richardson, a Maryland real estate agent affiliated with the Residential Real Estate Council (crs.com).

"I'm amazed how willing some buyers are to blurt out whatever comes to mind about a house and to do so freely. Yet that way they forfeit a lot of their bargaining power," says Richardson, who sells property through the Long & Foster realty company.

"Sharp sellers and their agents raise their antenna to pick up buyer interest. One of the biggest clues is how long the people stay in a property when they come for a visit. Anything over 20 minutes is a strong indicator they like your home. If they hate it, they'll bolt out of there in less than five minutes," Davis says.

Here are a few pointers for sellers:

-- Take notice of the comments your visitors make.

If you're home during a showing, Davis says you should stay attuned to the visitors' comments and seek to accurately interpret their remarks -- including the nuances.

"People don't always say what they mean when they see your house. Often, it's quite the reverse. For example, some people will gush on and on about the lovely furniture in a home they absolutely hate. They do that to be nice and not offend you," he says.

Remarkably, those who lack any serious interest in a home are usually the most friendly and polite. Yet those most likely to bid for the place may often be more judgmental about features they don't like.

Davis urges owners to avoid taking personally any minor complaints about their home. Rather, they should use the feedback from serious prospects to help shape a deal more to their liking -- perhaps by offering an allowance to cover the cost of minor upgrades.

-- Notice possible signs of buyer "attachment."

Buyers with a strong interest in a property often begin communicating this on their first visit. They start making what real estate agents call "possessive comments."

"People who start placing their furniture in your house are definitely gaining an attachment to the house. This is a sign they're starting to identify with the place and to picture themselves living there," Davis says.

For instance, they'll try to imagine how their sofa would look in the living room and whether their king bed would fit in the master bedroom.

-- Pay attention to reactions from all involved in the buying decision.

Multiple decades of experience in real estate have taught Davis to avoid preconceptions about who within a family will prove most influential in choosing a home.

"Don't make the mistake of thinking it's always the wife who makes the home-buying decisions. Sometimes it's the husband who has more influence," he says.

-- Ensure that your listing agent conveys buyer feedback.

It's not always possible -- nor recommended -- for owners to be present during showings. Your listing agent may also be absent when showings occur. Still, your agent can gather feedback by calling the agent representing the buyers.

Although buyers are rarely candid about their reactions to a property in the presence of its owners, most agents are truthful with each other when buyers lack interest in a place.

"If the buyers thought your place was a dump and hated the floor plan, you'll be sure to hear about it -- though not in those words," Davis says.

-- Don't assume buyer compliments will predict an offer.

Perhaps you're confident that people who've toured your home are extremely interested. And maybe you've heard they're under pressure to move in time for their teenager to enroll in advanced placement classes at the local high school.

But Richardson warns it's risky to take your prospects for granted, even if they seem extremely motivated. For example, you wouldn't want to make a counter-offer just to gain a tiny advantage on price or terms.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

A 29-year-old man from Bosnia has lived in America nearly half his life. Recently, he gained citizenship and a solid government job. But he itches to complete his American dream with one more accomplishment: homeownership.

Yet as this true tale illustrates, the man has his own version of the ideal property. Rather than seeking the classic detached house on a suburban cul-de-sac, he hankers for the ease and convenience of a condo in a vibrant, walkable city center near a strong public transportation system.

Stacy Berman, a longtime realty company manager who also relishes urban living, doesn’t know the homebuyer in this story. But from the future resale standpoint, she says he’s wise to focus his search on a community with excellent public transit, especially if that includes a light rail or subway station within a mile.

As with all real estate purchases, she says it’s best to buy a condo you could hold for multiple years, the longer the better.

“Look for a place you could easily rent out if you plan to live there for only a few short years. There’s a strong demand for rental housing in vital city neighborhoods,” Berman says.

Here are a few other pointers for urban condo buyers:

-- Trust your gut level reaction when it comes to location.

Resale data can tell you a lot about the desirability of a condo building. But your emotional response to a building is also telling, says Fred Meyer, a real estate appraiser and broker who’s sold homes since 1963.

“If you love it wholeheartedly, chances are good others will love it, too. That means when you put it on the market years from now, it should be easier to sell,” Meyer says.

-- Look for a community with a strong job base.

It’s no secret that the vitality of a local real estate market is tied closely to the employment strength of the area. But as Meyer says, the buyers of condos shouldn’t count on a single employer to keep the local economy afloat.

“You don’t want to buy in a one-factory town that would be badly hurt if that single employer closes. Look for multiple employers. For example, in the Seattle area, it’s highly unlikely that Microsoft and other high-tech companies will all move away or that most federal employment will bail out of Washington, D.C.,” he says.

-- Consult statistics to validate your hunches about the right condo building.

As Meyer says, your emotional reaction to a condo building can be helpful in the selection process. But you, along with your real estate agent, will also want to search out data that help you analyze the pros and cons of buying in a particular building.

“Look at the resale history for the building going back for as long as four years. Notice especially the median number of days that it takes to sell units in the building. The more days it typically takes to go from list to sell, the less liquid the building,” Meyer says.

Also, he says you should be sure to check the “reserves” of the building -- the amount of money owners there have set aside for key repairs and renovations.

“If the building needs a new roof and there’s no money available for this, all the owners could be hit with a big special assessment,” Meyer says.

-- Question the desirability of buying in a building with rock bottom condo fees.

Nearly all condo buildings impose “condo fees” on all their residents. Among other expenses, these monthly charges cover the cost of routine upkeep on a building and its grounds, along with support services.

John Rygiol, a real estate broker who counts many luxury condo buyers among his clients, advises buyers that seeking a building with rock bottom fees could be a mistake.

“In my experience, you get what you pay for in condo fees. A building with very low fees might actually decline in value, due to poor maintenance. That could make your unit hard to sell in the future,” he says.

-- Avoid a building with a large number of renters.

Homebuyer advocates are wary of buildings in which a large percentage of the units have been rented out by their owners.

What percentage of owner-occupants is sufficient? That depends on the location of the building. In most cases, Meyer says you’ll want to see more than half the units occupied by owners. However, this rule may not hold in a resort community where seasonal rentals are the norm.

Even though it’s not wise to choose a building with a large number of renters, Meyer says it’s also important to avoid a building that prohibits owners from renting out their units should they wish to do so.

-- Pick your condo unit carefully.

Even in the ideal building, not all apartments are created equal. Some would be more salable when it comes time to put your property on the market.

Meyer says it’s usually unwise to buy one of the most expensive condos in a building.

“Buying one of the least expensive condos in a building with much larger and fancier units will help hold up the value of your property over time. That means in the future you’ll probably be able to sell more quickly and for more money. In real estate, you always want progression in values rather than regression,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)